Virus-On – Apply Directly to the Computer!
Virus-On – Apply Directly to the Computer!
I’ve got a great idea for a scam – I’ll sell blank diskettes, CD-ROMs and DVD-ROMs that sat on my computer while I had viral-infected (but unopened) e-mails on it.
I’ll say they’re Homeopathic Anti-Virus Discs.
I’ll make a killing!
…
I understand it helps if you swash the disks in a bucket that used to contain a single computer virus molecule.
If you want, you can sell them on my cell phone antenna booster website.
Too late. I’ve been selling homeopathic DVD-ROM discs that have only one byte of virus code on them for use in healing PC’s of their computer viruses. My next project which will be even more effective is to start selling 100 Gig hard drives that have been exposed to the RF signal of a WiFi access point that TRANSMITTED a computer virus to a laptop.
Yep. That will work for sure.
I’m raising you one 250Gb disk that was waved at a screen bearing the picture of a Trappist monk who once thought about whispering the word “virus”.
Cures all known computer cancers. Dead.
Not me.
I’m going with a *proven * medical technology: magnets.
Now that we are done applying homeopathy to computers, lets go to the next level and apply other pseudoscience to them as well:
Microsoft is proof of the theory of “Intellegent Design”…
Nah. More like Un-Intellegent Design if you ask me.
It says “Start”, doesn’t it? So there must have been a starter!
I used my computer to go dowsing for water.
I found a bunch of memory leaks.
I heard if you swab vodka on your CD-ROMs you’ll get the same benefits.
My computer speaks to the dead. Through it’s mediumship, I’ve been able to recover information thought to be lost on old diskettes. Funny though… Critics claim it is just cold reading those disks.
No, not “swab.”
DRINK.
I tried going to a medium once, but I didn’t get the answers I wanted.
So I went to an extra-large instead.