I’ve been to three prisons to visit someone in my life, all Canadian provincial medium security institutions, so not sure if they will be like the place your friend is in.
The first I volunteered at. Meetings were in an area with couches in rows. Watched by guards, but you were next to the person you were visiting. That area was located close to the entrance and a guard station. It felt more like being at a high school than a prison.
The second was a meeting through glass with phones. There was no direct contact possible with the person being visited. It was close to the entrance also.
The third institution was a large, new mega prison. All the people who had come to visit were taken as a group down corridors and through doorways to the visiting area. Clanging doors and grey walls everywhere. By far the most intimidating place to visit. The visit was through glass also.
Definitely check with the institution about rules, times, restrictions. It’s not fun, but I’m sure your friend will appreciate the visit and your support.
Don’t wear a skirt or a dress - wear trousers or jeans. In some prisons, you might be walking on a catwalk that is a grill, and prisoners in the range below may be able to look up at you…
Contraband? Wouldn’t think of it. As I said on the OP, this is not a situation I’m remotely comfortable with, I just think the world of my friend and hate that he’s in this place.
Yeah, leaving my gun at home (seriously, if you knew me IRL, that gun comment is particularly funny. No guns here).
I’m wearing yoga pants and a zip up hoody, going w/ a sports bra under a tank under said hoody. Not at all sexy. It’s a 6 hour drive from where I live and comfort is key to me.
We can take 5 books/periodicals. My friend is not a big reader so we’re taking a couple of word search magazines and a Mental Floss magazine (my personal fave), along w/ a couple of gossip magazines. I love to bake and am bummed that I can’t take cookies or something but that’s not allowed.
And Needs Coffee, I’ve known him for years. I’m not the type of person who corresponds with random criminals. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, it’s just not at all my style.
You’ve all done a lot in helping me cope with my apprehension. Thanks!
The normal procedure in the prisons I worked in would be to remind the prisoner and the visitor about the no touching rules. If they persisted, the visit would be ended and the visitor would be asked to leave.
Your friend will probably want you to spend the entire allowed visiting period with him, so plan on that. Also, you might want to bring cough drops, candy, mints, etc. for throat scratchiness from extended loud talking. (You will be talking loud, because the room will be very noisy.)
Based on NY policies, neither you or the person you’re visiting will be provided with a meal. There will probably be vending machines in the visiting room. So bring a bunch of change to buy sandwiches or something.
From what I’ve seen, the matter of what you should wear varies with the way visits are handled. For example, if visitors are allowed to mingle with prisoners in the same physical space, then it’s likely that visitors will be prohibited from wearing denim, or anything else that looks like what the inmates are wearing. And obviously you may be seen by many inmates who happen to be having visitors at the same time, so presumably more conservative clothing would be more comfortable for a woman. OTOH at some institutions there’s a thick plate of glass between you and the prisoner, and a telephone handset for each of you to converse through. With this setup the visitor never goes into the custodial area at all, and the other prisoners really don’t see much of you. So in a case like that anything, even jeans and a top/shirt would probably be fine. That’s what visitors typically wear when visits are handled this way, and you don’t want to be overly-well dressed; the other visitors may well think you’re an attorney and request curbside advice.
Basically they want the visitors to look as different as possible from the inmates, which seems like a reasonable precaution. Evidently, prisoners often wear prison-issue trousers that might look like jeans from a distance. Incidentally, I don’t know how common this is; I only came across it when planning a visit to a friend at a particular prison in California. Then he got out so I never went.