Vocal-cordectomy for a cat?

[rant]
Our cat Zubin never, ever stops talking. This is bad enough, but often he really starts yelling. For no discernable reason other than to say, “Hey, I’m here!” He sleeps on my bed a night, and even then snores, and sometimes talks in his sleep too.

I mean really, really loud. For eight years. In the scores of cats we’ve had over the years, never had such a talker, not even the next most vocal, a Siamese.

Other than a vocal-cordectomy, I don’t suppose there is any other way of getting him to shut up, is there? Accupuncture? Hypnosis?
[/rant]

I suppose we should be grateful that Mehta, OTOH, almost never utters a meow at all.

I posted pictures before, but to prevent requests, here is Zubin
(with his mouth actually closed), and here is Mehta
in his usual sleeping position.

They’re beautiful.

If you respond to Zubin, does that help?

Our Mick is a talker, and we talk back. He always ends the conversation first, with “arrrrrrye”, which obviously means “All right then”. Then he walks away. Conversation over. Cat and humans content.

Oh, cripes, no. That just encourages him, and the conversation can go on forever. Or until we give up, and then the cat smirks. Maybe winks. :smiley:

This is a genuine phenomenon among some cats, I guess. I volunteer at the SPCA, and every once in a while we get a male cat who will not shut up. This week, we had a new one who would make a noise like an air raid siren for seemingly no reason, as if you stepped on his tail, even though he’s not aggressive at all. His roommate is another one who has a comment about everything. They get on each other’s nerves but no other cat can deal with them.

Come to think of it, every cat I’ve ever met who was notably loud and talkative is a male all silver and black tabby, including the one I had with the big mouth. It’s kind of like singing and kind of like swearing at the same time, in cat. I wonder if that’s connected to the mouthness? It can be kind of funny at times, the noises, but not in the middle of the night. Other cats don’t seem to like it much either.

If you start petting him, does that quiet him down? The only way we can get this new cat to stop is by scratching his chin. Every other kind of petting makes him go “MrrrrrrrrrrOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWNNNNN!”

Vocal-Cordectomy is okay for a cat I suppose, but I prefer Taffy or Spider or Lennie. Even Kitty is okay. Of course he’s not going to come to it no matter what you call him, so might as well go with what you want (but I’d still call him ‘VC’ to make it easier unless you have a Nam veteran in your house who might object).

What the heck. You gotta cat you gotta cat. Mine, I can set my alarm by her every morning at four o’clock. Just yammers and meows like hell and even sticks her snoot under the door while she meows, to further aggravate me. I know she just wants company but if I let her in forget sleeping anymone. I just get used to it and thank og she’s healthy and my friend. :slight_smile:

There’s this black and white cat who hangs around the dorm I live in. He lives with a family off campus, but he likes to come and visit the college kids, because they feed him and pet him and make a big fuss over him. I don’t know his real name, but a lot of people call him Mr. Moonboots.

You can always tell when Mr. Moonboots is outside, because he meows and meows and meows. He’ll climb up onto the fire escape and look into people’s rooms and squawk at them. He always sounds like he’s the saddest, most pathetic kitty ever, but I know he isn’t, because he makes the same noise if you let him inside.

Last night I let him in because it was raining and he was all wet, and he came down to my room and we watched some of my Scrubs episodes on DVD on my laptop, and then he decided he wanted to go back outside, so he started squawking again.

A few hours later, my roommate and I were trying to go to sleep, and we heard Mr. Moonboots meowing outside. He went away eventually, thank goodness.

I have a talkier as well, he and my husband get into to shouting matchs all the time.
If there was such a vocal surgery I would get it, if I am sleeping in on a day off, the cat screams in my ear till I am up. My cat is Gilbert Godfrey with a tail.

but me wuvs him

One of our cats, Poe, will not ever shut the eff up. He chatters to himself, he yowls when he’s hungry (roughly half the morning and half the evening), he howls and screams at night for no discernible reason, he yikks and squawks when he’s indignant about something, screetches when he gets stepped on (which happens frequently, as his favorite hobby is being an all-black cat on a dark, narrow staircase in the middle of the night), he warbles when he wants in your lap, he talks back when you chastise him. He purrs like a rusty chainsaw when he’s content. Okay, that last one is fairly pleasant.
We have tried everything to get some sleep at night, starting with building a blockade in the doorway (there are no doors in our house, except on the bathroom)–this causes him to leap up against it repeatedly, screetching, until we give in and take the blockade down, at which point he stalks away in silence. We tried squirting water, or a water/vinegar mix, which causes him to squawk, run, and come back about five minutes later when you’ve just started to drift off again. Occasionally I hurl a book in his general direction–don’t call PETA yet, my aim is terrible. We’ve shut him in the bathroom on nights when it’s really bad… his response is to continue howling for a while, then when he figures we’re not letting him out, he’ll jump up as high as he can reach in the corner of the door and scrape-slide down the floor. Scrape, slide, thump. Scrape, slide, thump. Scrape, slide, thump. All. Night. Long. At least he doesn’t scream while he’s doing it.
It doesn’t seem like enough of a reason to get rid of him, and I’m not sure I’d be able to do that anyway, although the thought does occasionally cross my mind when I get awoken at 3:30 in the morning from a deep, sound sleep by Poe screaming like something from Dante’s kitty circle of hell four feet away from my head. I can’t really effectively describe the noise he makes, but I always thought that “blood curdling scream” was a silly, melodramatic turn of cliche. It’s somehow got that particular tone of nails on a blackboard that puts your teeth on edge and bores into the recesses of your brain.
The really sick thing about it is that I picked him out of the colony because he was the quiet, meek little guy in the back that never said a word, always got pushed around by the other bigger cats, and wouldn’t approach you, but if you picked him up he’d stay, purring, in your lap for hours.
Anyone want to trade?

Little Bear, a Russian Blue, will be 18 in a couple weeks. He was never vocal at all until a few years ago, when he did a few meows. Since then, his yelling and yowling have steadily increased, until now he spends half his waking hours yelling about something or other (Of course, his “waking hours” are less than they used to be).

But he’s such a wonderful, affectionate kitty in so many ways, that usually I just count my blessings that he’s still alive. Although sometimes, like when I’m on the phone, I yell at him to shut the hell up. Not that he listens.

The Kittenator constantly yammers on about something. When my daughter visits, Kittenator will climb up on the porch railing and howl through the screen door to get my daughter to go outside with her. If my daughter is watching a movie and I’m reading the Sunday paper, I get yowled at because I’m not paying attention to her. She will crawl underneath my truck when it’s being worked on just to yeep and carry on. Determined to get the last word in, I can noiselessly move my lips, and the Kittenator will do the same thing. A lovable, yet odd kitty.

My in-laws had this surgery done to their dog. Pretty sad, IMO. The dog would want to bark but all that came out was a raspy throat-clearing sound. He passed soon after.

Are these cats fixed? Hamish’s cat Littlefur would not ever shut up until we got her spayed, and now she’s much quieter. And I had Zazou neutered as young as possible, and he has never made much noise (if he meows, we run to see what’s wrong).