Short Story Evaluation Rubric
25 pts Intro – was it a dynamic intro that grabbed attention and made you want to read more?
25 pts Body – did the story move along, coherently, and keep interest?
25 pts Conclusion – did the story have an ending that felt complete and fit with story?
25 pts Overall – personal opinion and like/dislike of style, subject, feel.
Total: 100 pts
Disclaimer: Please take my suggestions for changes with a grain of salt – a huge grain of salt. I am basically just thinking aloud how I would have written it, just to show you how someone else would have changed/ruined your story.
Title: The Infinite Theater
25 pts Intro – Nice job! A clear statement and a hint of what is to come. Got my attention.
20 pts Body – nice, deep, philosophical tale with some great insight. You might have added some more examples of the paradox to show how his life is both insignificant, yet also wildly significant, in the grand scheme of things.
23 pts Conclusion – a bit rushed, but you did indeed wrap it up nicely.
20 pts Overall – this was a cool story and concept – some good food for thought, but I think there could have been just a tad more food for the thought.
Total: 88 pts
Title: The Glitch
23 pts Intro – Nice job, but would have piqued my interest more if you had said something more mysterious - along the lines of “At 1:05 the picture of the house was tilted, but the picture of the same house at 1:35 wasn’t. Houses don’t normally right themselves, do they?”
22 pts Body – I would have preferred to meet the time traveler sooner than later, and let him have some more fun making off-the-wall comments about the future; “When Burger King starts to market Ostrich burgers…” and let him make some wild predictions, “Make friends with Arnold Pinkers from Butte, Montana – he is about to create the first great flying car….”
22 pts Conclusion – the story seemed to end abruptly – and why would anyone turn down the results of the next ten Super Bowl games?!
21 pts Overall – really great idea, but missed out on some of the fun.
Total: 88 pts
Title: A Prince of Parys
25 pts Intro – Excellent opening statement! Made me want to read more!
20 pts Body – I got a little lost – was there a coup or not a coup? Is the king dead or not dead? What is amber and should I be on alert?
20 pts Conclusion – The story did end, but it sort of escaped me exactly what happened. Perhaps a final phrase, “The King took his son to the land of the….” with a bit more explanation for people like me who got a tad lost.
20 pts Overall – I liked the style and majesty of the story, but felt like I was missing Book 1 and 2 and was coming in at the wrong time and not knowing who was who or what was what.
Total: 85 pts
Title: Tough Love
21 pts Intro – OK, but it would have been more interesting to punch right in there with “Good news, I found a parking spot – bad news, I was about to arrest my daughter.” or something equally shocking – especially since this wasn’t a big “reveal” later in the story.
20 pts Body – to be honest, not a lot happened. It was a pleasant enough diversion and a nice read, but more along the lines of 5 minutes in a magical Law & Order episode. Nothing wrong with that, but could have used a kick of some kind – perhaps a more magical slight of hand.
24 pts Conclusion – the ending was good – nice to see dad be supportive and certainly brought home the “tough love” aspect, so you wrapped it up nicely.
20 pts Overall – could have used more of the magic, or description of the magic, to make this story more magical.
Total: 85 pts
Title: Collisions
24 pts Intro – Very nice opening – almost poetic.
22 pts Body – I liked the simplicity of the story, but was hoping for more of a payoff/twist somewhere along the line. Maybe the woman in the diner was the blonde thief but now with black hair? Maybe instead of stealing the wallet, she put a different wallet into his pocket? Not sure what other twists could have come, but I kept expecting one to show up.
22 pts Conclusion – wrapped up story quickly, and would have been fun to have that extra kick or twist as mentioned – but you let us know what happened and left no loose ends.
20 pts Overall – nice breezy style and good flow of words, but still feel there was a missed opportunity for a good “gotcha” somewhere in there.
Total: 88 pts
Title: Wages of Sin
24 pts Intro – nice start, and good intro to the career choice and set up that he would not be missed.
20 pts Body – good presentation of his tricks of the trade and his stealth and cunning. The evil variation of a Dorian Gray painting was interesting, but it was a bit unclear what happened to him. He was uneasy and then…disappeared? Passed out? Eaten by wolves? Body gone or not gone?
20 pts Conclusion – liked very much that the poor old woman was hardly a poor old woman, but am still a bit foggy on what exactly happened.
20 pts Overall – I like crime and mystery stories, but felt ripped off by this burglar and his tale.
Total: 84 pts
Title: Old Business
24 pts Intro – Nice. You did get our attention right off the bat.
20 pts Body – I was getting lost quickly – and I am still not 100% sure I understood everything. I think it needed to be clarified a bit more, as I see elements of a good story in there, but it did seem to be a bit confusing.
20 pts Conclusion – OK, now I was really lost – did the bad guy get blown up, or did he blow up the other or was he the good guy. Needs to be a bit better explained – perhaps in a short synopsis like “….and Steve never knew that Maya’s secret contact was….and that is how she….because they……” or something like that.
20 pts Overall – I think my GPS wasn’t working as I got really lost with this story.
Total: 84 pts
Title: The Sliding Floor
25 pts Intro – got my attention and nice use of a sinkhole to explain the house situation, and hint at what is to come!
22 pts Body – I think it would have been more interesting to hear how he came about the info of the manuscript, and what might have been written, and why it was hidden, and all the grit and gore that went into saving it and hiding it all those years. The fire and the escape could have been zipped into a short paragraph, panic ending to the tale.
22 pts Conclusion – Nice ending, wrapped it up, but then made me realize there was more to the story that I wish I had known earlier.
22 pts Overall – I liked this story but wish it had been a bit more of a “lost treasure hunt”, with clues and hints and the culmination of years of searching than a simple, frantic grab and run.
Total: 91 pts
Title: With All The Lights On
25 pts Intro – Excellent statement, nice set up, we know something is going to happen – not exactly sure what, but something is going to happen. Yes, I want to read more.
23 pts Body – we got to know Jesse well – the innocence of youth and the despair of lost opportunity and unfulfilled dreams. It is too bad one of the words required for this story was “radar” and not “gaydar” – it could have saved Jesse a world of grief. I will admit this story could have been the prequel to my own story, and perhaps because it was so obvious to me, there was little surprise when Jesse read the magazine article. But yes, I knew many a Jesse who didn’t quite put the pieces together until much, much later.
25 pts Conclusion – perfect ending, with hope for one last grasp at happiness and this time, on solid footing without feeling like you were “settling” for second best. This wrapped up the intro in a perfectly tight bow. Nicely done.
25 pts Overall – even though I could see this ending coming a mile away, it was still a very well-written, melancholy journey to get there. You could have chopped a few words off here and there with another edit, but I haven’t a clue exactly where, so I will just leave that point.
Total: 97 pts
Title: Three Drops
24 pts Intro – This story started off great. We knew immediately we were dealing with a special kind of boy.
20 pts Body – as the journey progressed, I sort of got lost along the way. Lots of traveling but unsure where and for what purpose? This would have been time for the mother to reflect aloud and maybe clarify some of the mystery of the story.
20 pts Conclusion – the story was certainly wrapped up, but I think it left more questions than answers.
20 pts Overall – great beginning, but the story sort of lost its way on the journey to the end and I felt I missed some element that would have explained a bit more about the back story and the purpose for doing what was done.
Total: 84 pts
Title: City Of The Living
24 pts Intro – You got my attention and set the scene quickly and nicely.
24 pts Body – Too often, stories about street people are just using them as a backdrop. I really liked this approach of using that person as the center of focus. You touched the right note between crazy person, but maybe not all that crazy as we might think.
22 pts Conclusion – the mission was accomplished, but I think I personally would have liked to have heard exactly what happened – in a short statement – after the messages were given and received.
21 pts Overall – I liked this approach to the story and using an oddball character as the narrator. I think the story could have been fleshed out more with a bit more info on why the money and what was about to happen after the deed was done.
Total: 91 pts
Title: Party At Billy’s
22 pts Intro – Direct and to the point and set the scene, but it might have been good to include the thoughts of mystery and foreshadowing of this odd request. Something like “Marlon was sweating and worried about ruining his suit, although he had no idea why some stranger would pay him $5000 to wear it.”
21 pts Body – I liked the idea a lot! I think there were some missed opportunities for a few snippets of wisdom, a few clever observations and maybe an offhand prediction of things to come that actually did indeed become true.
25 pts Conclusion – the story wrapped up nicely. It was all a blur, but a great memory despite being cheated out of his wage.
22 pts Overall – as mentioned, some missed opportunities to play with the characters and give some insight on history and the future. Plus, there should have been a clever way for him to take something from the party to make up for the lost fee – valuable info or a souvenir?
Total: 90 pts
Title: Last Night
22 pts Intro – descriptive and set the scene, it seemed to lack a bit of focus for what was about to happen. I think this need more of a sense of urgency and a perceived sense of impending doom.
22 pts Body – I always wondered what went on in the mind of people who bought into these doomsday theories and it was cool to see how this all evolved and then dissolved. Although tricky to do, this would have been a great chance to show the panic and urgency that comes as the time nears. After all this time, when you are counting down to the end of time, there has to be a multitude of feelings pouring out.
25 pts Conclusion – kudos for just letting it be “another day”. I probably would have screwed this ending up and tried to be clever, and this ending did not need clever.
21 pts Overall – liked this idea and concept a lot. I just think the main character would have been a bit more frantic and would like to have seen the adrenaline start to rush in and the thrill and fear and doom and exhilaration all come to a crescendo before the loud silence of nothing.
Total: 90 pts
Title: The Luck Of The Draw
23 pts Intro – Nice set up. J might have tried to be more blunt with something like “They say the chance of winning a lottery is less than being hit by lightning. Well, those are good odds compared to what I went through.”
25 pts Body – you zipped right along and kept my attention the entire way. Things were happening right and left and I had no idea where this story was going – a good thing!
23 pts Conclusion – wrapped up nicely, but not quite sure why the guilt as there was no mention of sharing the prize, was there? And she didn’t know who would have won – and after all those years, I would think she would be over it.
24 pts Overall – this story moved along quickly and kept my interest. A few quibbles about the guilt factor but it was still a fun story and a good read.
Total: 95 pts
Sorry this took so long for me to finish and post. Busy time at work and just took longer than i thought it would to finish.
