Voting produces endorphins! - try the Anthology Thread, SDMB Short Fiction Contest, May 2012 edition

Cafe Society
21

There - the poll is established and the voting may begin. My apologies for the lateness of the poll - I just got back from a fantastic closing night performance of ‘Les Contes d’Hoffmann’ at the Canadian Opera Company.

I’d also like to encourage readers and authors to comment on any or all of the stories. Please, try not to mention the authors’ names until the poll is closed. Authors - I’ll leave it up to you to whether or not to mention your own name while the poll is still open.

I’d also like to congratulate the group of writers once again - what an interesting diversity! I’m always amazed to see how the writers take the compulsory material in very different directions. And once again, I’m quite impressed at how well the authors have written within time constraints that don’t allow much time for editing.

Now, I get to read more deeply, and savour everyone’s work.

22

It says to vote for your favorites. Is that one, three, five? I know three I’d like to check off.

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You could vote for all of them if you so wished.

I generally vote for every one that I really like, which can sometimes be almost half of them if not more.

24

I’d like to say that “The End” put some tears in my eyes. That was a sweet story, but so sad.

I envy those two guys, they know how “Mad Men” turns out! And to have found someone you could grow old with.

25

Wow, some people got through all these stories pretty quickly. I’ve only read the first five. Some great stuff in here so far. I’ll comment on each one later.

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Le Ministre, please ignore the PM I just sent. The one selection I though wasn’t showing does show now. Sorry about that.

27

Wow - some really great entries here…my own feels rather pedestrian comparatively. :stuck_out_tongue: Of the lot, two struck me as particularly tight stories: **With All the Lights On **and The End. I know that I struggled with the 2000 word limit, and felt my story was just getting started when I reached it and had to tie things up. I’ve also noticed that a number of these stories feel brief, abbreviated, which I feel is likely because of this as well. How odd that 2000 words seems so few to tell a story in!

With All the Lights On runs a bit over the limit, but it doesn’t feel like there is anything that can be shortened. It is a really good, really sad story of dreams destroying reality and likewise being destroyed by reality.

The End is just sweet, sad, and touching…and I think my favorite of the lot.

28

These contests seem to get better and better. Of the stories that really clicked with me, here’s my arbitrary impressions, in reverse alphabetical order by story title.
With All The Lights On (Post #10)
Likes: The author took the idea of perspective as the theme and gave us a story about the shifting of an important personal paradigm. I appreciated the verisimilitude achieved in detailing the narrator’s alienation and self loathing, and the disintegration of her marriage due to her growing apathy. The description is both painful and numbing, but the author’s use of language is inventive and crisp, full of sensual imagery and evocative allusion which pulled me into the story and made me feel the main character’s turmoil. You can’t write a story like this and not care deeply about people, I think.
Comments: I wish the final release of self blame and re-embrace of life / intended rapprochement with David had been portrayed as a bit more progressive over a period of time, to show a more natural course of Epiphany -> Internal Processing -> Behavior & Attitude Change.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 40
The Wages of Sin (Post #7)
Likes: The story is well structured and the pacing is well done. The author dealt with the description and effect of the painting quite cleverly, and I liked this way of using the photograph in the challenge.
Comments: This isn’t, actually, the first guy-gets-trapped-in-a-painting story I’ve run into, but it’s a good tight take on the idea. I wish there had been a bit more “value added” in the last scene -not to explicate the painting or the old lady’s possession of it, but to deepen the mystery a bit. As it was, because of her muted reaction, it seemed a sort of pro forma ending to me.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 35
Tough Love (Post #5)
Likes: The author chose wisely I think to concentrate more on the family drama than on the use of magic, which I think is used well in this story as a device to set up the conflict rather than as a central aspect. So the fantastical element seems to provide a solid background to the narrator’s ethical struggle as a parent and officer of the [magical] court, rather than to get in the way of the telling. Good use of the arbitrary words, and I thought this story was written quite professionally. It felt like it could be a chapter within a larger story (where the ethics of magic could be explored a bit more deeply).
Comments: I wanted the choice of the planarally challenged dwelling by Felicia to be a bit more meaningful to the character or the story. (By the way, did the author have actress Felicia Day in mind when naming the daughter?)
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 38
Three Drops (Post #11)
Likes: In this one, the magic is both central to the story & characters and the source of conflict between Ceridwen and Taliesin. Although preexisting knowledge of the characters isn’t necessary to enjoy this story, I had never read the Tale of Taliesin, so I researched a synopsis - I like stories which prompt me to other, older works. I liked the playful use of the tilted houses photo.
Comments: Some of the actions and dialogue are a bit confusing, but I can’t tell if this is deliberate on the author’s part.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 39
The Sliding Floor (Post #9)
Likes: Nice urgency to the story that pulled me into the immediate dillema of the rescue and set me up nicely for the reveal of the narrator’s true purpose in watching the house. Yet another interesting take on the contest image.
Comments: Why did the firemen open the suitcase?
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 39
A Prince of Parys (Post #4)
Likes: Always glad to revisit Zelazny’s Amber universe. I thought the tone and the intra family intrigue stayed true to the source material, and made me want to read the books again.
Comments: This story would be good as an intro to a novella or as a teaser for same, but isn’t actually very compelling as a stand alone story.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 35
Last Night (Post #15)
Likes: Nice payoff here. [Clarke reference]Overhead, without any fuss, the stars kept twinkling just as they had been.[/Clarke]
Comments: Points off for mispelling “Nietzsche” just a bit too egregiously.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 35
The End (Post #12)
Likes:I’m a sucker for well delivered maudlin ‘enduring love’ stories. This one is well delivered and quite maudlin, so it pulled me in and choked me up.
Comments: If the author knows how Mad Men ends, there’s a certain ethical obligation to the rest of us that hasn’t yet been fulfilled… Ahem.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 38
City of the Living (Post #13)
Likes: I enjoyed the process of writing this one a lot, starting with considering the photo, and the ways one might accidentally or purposefully achieve the perspective chosen by the photographer. It led me to think about laying down on the sidewalk as a pov and what kind of person or situation would lead to that action, which set me up with the homeless man who became my unreliable narrator.
Comments: This is a story I might go back to as a reclamation project. It could use a better paint job, perhaps an expansion and a new roof.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: z

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The Infinite Theater I found this overwritten the change came too fast, and the epiphany is not profound enough to justify the story.
A prince of Parys This was very well written, but I got lost quick and never really found my way back in. I felt like I was overhearing the last half of a conversation and never understood it.
Tough Love Well written, the magic stuff was incorporated very naturally and the plot was done well. I never felt the characters were actually related though, there was nothing emotionally going on between them.
Collisions This seemed to take forever to get started. Once it did it got really good though. Really liked the short scene at the diner.
Wages of sin I really liked the bit at the end with the old woman. However, it felt rushed and I never felt anything about the burglar.
Old businessI found this confusing. There was alot going on with the old lover, the rascist army guy, the beautiful genius inventor, the missile. I am still not sure what happened to incapacitate the sub or exactly what the setting was.
The Sliding Floor Well written, but the part about him knowing there were only seconds to get the woman out and then he spends several minutes in the house, really bumped me. How many gas explosions has the protagonist been in that he knows exactly how much time he has at every stage? I like the ending but felt the papers idea should have been introduced earlier.
With All The Lights OnGreat story, really well done. The character was very real and very relatable. Covered alot of time quickly but never felt rushed. I thought the ending would have been much more powerful written sardonically instead of hopefully. Definetly the best story.
Three DropsInteresting story, but I am not sure what is going on. This felt like a small part of something bigger not a short story.
The End Maudlin subject matter that felt more like an obituary than a short story. The main character seems entirely non-plussed to wake up next to his boyfriend’s corpse. Taking an entire bottle of pills one at a time does not seem possible.

I will comment on the rest later.

30

I finally got through all the stories. Here are just a few comments.

The Infinite Theater: This story kicked off what was kind of a theme for this go-round of short fiction literature. It was very descriptive, but focused on a single character, which means no character interaction or dialogue to speak of. The prose was very nice, it was well-written. Maybe a bit slow for me.

The Glitch: I liked this story quite a bit. It was a neat concept. There was great dialogue. I especially liked that the release of a new chicken sandwich at BK would be the identifier of the end of the simulation. Pretty clever stuff.

A Prince of Parys: Awesome character names. I don’t know if they are original or not, but they are sure more interesting than the John Smiths of the literature world. The writer used nice prose and was able to do a pretty good job of building suspense. However, I expected more payoff at the ened.

Tough Love: This was a nice, easy read. There was some nice dialogue between characters. Good use of magic. I think someone else said it well, the magic was a very minor plot device so it didn’t distract from the main point of the story. Very well done.

Collisions: Great story. A well-written, easy read that gives a reader a nice warm feeling. Everything comes together very well by the end of the story so there are no loose ends.

The Wages of Sin: Very cool idea. This story seemed quite short, which is perfectly fine, by the way. It wrapped up nicely. It did focus pretty much on one guy. It was somewhat unclear if we are supposed to think the old lady has trapped more than one person in that painting. She seemed to know what had happened. It would have been cooler if our burglar was just one of many in a crowd in the painting or something.

Old Business: This was a quick read, maybe a bit confusing with people’s relationships to each other. But I like that there were at least multiple characters interacting that really drove the story.

The Sliding Floor: I liked this one a lot. It was mostly a descriptive narrative, but it was far from boring. The writer did a great job building some suspense and mystery throughout the story. The final payoff was not what I was expecting, exactly, but it worked great.

With All the Lights On: This is a very well-written story by what I would assume is someone with a bit of experience writing fiction. I could see this story being published somewhere. It’s hot and steamy in parts, but keeps it very real. I felt like it could easily be someone’s real life narrative. All that said, the pace was a bit slow and the introspective reflections don’t really hold my attention as well as other things.

Three Drops: More interesting character names! And some great interaction between them, too. Nice use of dialogue, althought I felt like some characters were speaking in a very old-fashioned way. I had a bit of a hard time following the story, not quite sure what was going on all the time.

The End: Similar to “With All the Lights On,” this one was very descriptive, featured very nice prose, but lacked dialogue. It certainly aims to strike an emotional chord and it does a pretty good job of it. It’s well-written, I could also see this one published.

City of the Living: Very well-written, clever story. Cool idea. There was dialogue and interaction and a decent pace to this story that managed to keep my attention. I actually kind of liked some of the unusual sentence structures like “…I reckoned I’d choices three…”

Party at Billy’s My own story, I can comment on it later.

Last Night: This one pretty much amounts to a very well-written character study to me. The examination of Elliot is very thoughtful and features nice styling, but I don’t know if the pace works for me, personally. But again, nice prose and nice structure.

The Luck of the Draw: I liked this one a lot. It was a lot of fun to read with quite a bit going, what with the Big One and then the kind of nanchalance the character manages to pull off while being slightly (maybe very) selfish. Great story telling.

That’s about it. There were quite a few slow paced character study type stories going on here. I think almost everybody set their story in San Francisco, which is obviously because of the picture, and despite that there were still a wide variety of interesting uses of the picture in the story. As usual, great job by all the writers and thanks again Le Ministre de l’au-delà for putting it together.

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City of the Living I had to read this twice before I understood what was going on. It was very well done as far as character but nothing really happened. Could have used more plot.
Party at Billy’s Lots of interesting stuff but it never really explained anything that happened or if it happened at all.
**Last Night ** Really well done, the character was done in a real way and the crisis was introduced in a very realistic way. The ambiguousness of whether the protagonist was correct or crazy or both gave the story dramatic tension. I did not understand why he stayed in the house, when he would have been more comfortable elsewhere.
The Luck of the Draw This felt cold and distant to me. There is no sense of the emotion, the fear, the sorrow, the guilt. This felt like the outline of a story and not the story itself.

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Ok, now that I have put out a few work fires, I can give more detailed thoughts on each story. I will check each for length, use of the words anonymity, drift, and radar, incorporation of the theme picture, and then my overall impression.

The Infinite Theater
Length: 1,511 words
**Use of words: **All three used within the story
Use of image: Integral to the story
Opinion: I like the concept here, of a person gaining introspective from the zen of staring into an “infinite theater”, but I think that story suffers a bit by being heavy in prose and light in action. There is some great, if sometimes overwhelming description here, but by the time we get to the “meat” of the tale, where the character begins his introspection, the descriptiveness is dropped, the journey hand-waved, and it feels as if we are shorted because of it. So much time is spent describing what leads up to the theater that not having an equally rich description of what happens within robs the story, and the prior descriptiveness, of its power. This was no doubt an artifact of the length limitation - I’d be curious as to what paradoxes the author would have lead us down if this were a lengthier piece.

The Glitch
Length: 1,805 words
Use of words: All three used within the story
Use of image: Integral to the story
Opinion: I like the idea of the narrator as a “glitch” in the program. I like how the whole setup is for something as mundane as a Burger King Chicken Sandwich. I like the acknowledgement that such an artificial reality would lead to the downfall of civilization. The story feels a bit stunted, however, and just kind of ends. There is no character growth that doesn’t come from exposition - you don’t know that the glitch ever believes or disbelieves. It just kind of ends. Otherwise, fun story!

A Prince of Parys
Length: 1,894 words
Use of words: All three used within the story
Use of image: A background element within the story
Opinion: This was my entry, and I admit, I’m not super thrilled with it. I was struggling with where to go with the picture, wanting to do something sci-fi/fantasy like with the story, and so I decided to turn it into a writing experience, attempting to imitate the style and intonation of Roger Zelazny’s Chronicles of Amber, but set in a “side” universe therein. I’ve always been intrigued by Zelazny’s mastery of dialogue and intrigue, and was trying to capture that here. Unfortunately, I really feel that the length limit killed me - I wasn’t able to weave the Machiavellian machinations tightly enough while still establishing character and plot. As xenophon41 observed, my objective reading of it makes it feel more like an introduction than a story - I should have focused a bit more on getting somewhere with it. I still think I could weave a pretty fun tale with it, but I don’t quite have the chops to do it in so few words. And like puddleglum’s observation, I think the story is hurt by using an existing universe that the reader may not be familiar with and doing so with no exposition, so it feels like “half a conversation.” Barkis is Willin’, the name Corwin is from the original series, the rest are names I chose. Sorry there wasn’t more payoff in the end - I found myself hitting 1,800 words and panicked about getting somewhere with the story! LOL!

Tough Love
Length: 1,846 words
Use of words: All three used within the story
Use of image: A background element within the story
Opinion: So very Dresden-esque - I take this was intentional? This could have come right out of the Dresden universe, and the use of language reads very much like something Butcher would write. As a huge fan of said 'verse, I very much enjoyed this piece. Like others have observed, however, I think the characters would have benefited from a bit more emotional development - the dad should have perhaps had more anguish over catching his daughter trying to escape the justice he was bound to enforce. Still, loved it!

Collisions
Length: 1,149 words
Use of words: All three used within the story
Use of image: The result of an action withing the story
**Opinion: **On my second rereading of the piece, I wish I had voted for this one. It’s an amazingly concise piece of fiction, telling a neat little story in very few words, a skill I obviously have yet to master. The repeated allusions to metaphorical objects in space (the girl with white/blonde hair as a comet, drifting through the cold) helped tie it all together nicely, and I appreciate the idea that seemingly random events can have wonderful consequences, and that pain can also lead to healing. Only one thing, one tiny thing, struck me as off - who would drink a milkshake during a cold snap, when they are already unprepared for the chill? :wink: Other than that, very impressive!

The Wages of Sin
**Length: **1,046 words
Use of words: All three used within the story
Use of image: Integral to the story
Opinion: This reads like an episode of the Twilight Zone, or Night Gallery, or something else Serling-esque - as a fan of such shows, I definitely appreciated the nod towards that style of fiction. I did feel this story was a little too short, however; it felt almost more like an episode synopsis than a short story. I would have loved to have had more tension built in, as the burgler perhaps felt irresistably drawn to the painting, and maybe some sort of nod that the old woman was also a practicioner of some dark magic…maybe have the burgler run across a strange set of books that seemed unlikely for the old woman to have. Just something to set up the existence of the painting and its power, and the lady’s calmness regarding it.

Old Business
**Length: **1,997 words
Use of words: All three used within the story
Use of image: Incidental background element of the story
Opinion: I had a really hard time following this. The dialogue was very stilted and leapt about without much indication of who was speaking, the action within it seemed disjointed and confusing, and I just couldn’t get in to it. I like the idea of a spy/agent/military themed story, but it just didn’t connect with me.

The Sliding Floor
**Length: **1,868 words
Use of words: All three used within the story
Use of image: Integral to the story
Opinion: Another fun story - I love a good heist tale, and the idea of a would be thief risking life and limb to save the lady he was going to rob and than losing his target because of it is a fun one, even if it makes for a strange moral - Screw the old lady, next time, look for the loot! It took my second read through to realize that the old double spaced papers that surrounded the suitcase were the lost manuscripts - on my first read, I was wondering how he could have a memory of something he hand never seen, but a more careful reading revealed what I had missed. I do think it could have done with a better understanding of the narrator’s motives - why was he willing to save her before going after his treasure? He didn’t seem terribly concerned with her once they got to the room with the manuscript, even threatening to leave her if she didn’t give him the location of the suitcase. Just a bit more insight into the mindset of the would-be thief would have been great.

With All The Lights On
**Length: **2,292 words
Use of words: All three used within the story
Use of image: Sort of - the idea of angles and perspective, definitely, the actual image, no (unless I missed it)
Opinion: Ok, so this one broke the rules a bit. Too long, no clear use of the image within the story, and yet…I think it’s my favorite of the bunch. There is such a sense of reality to this piece, of honest, true emotion, of heavy regret and a broken heart. Strangely, though I pity the narrator, I don’t care for her - probably because I have known too many who have wasted their lives languishing over what they never had rather than enjoying what they do have - and yet by the end of the story I feel such empathy for her. It is easy to imagine losing oneself in the fantasy of another, of being so desperately deep in unrequited love that the rejection of it casts a pallor over one’s whole life. This may sound crazy, but in a way, the character her reminds me very much of my ex-wife, who in the end said she never loved me, and whom I long suspected had only married me because I was the only one who asked. That this story could elicit sympathy from me while at the same time reminding me of a very hurtful relationship is a definite achievement. Bravo.

That’s all for now - I’ll finish up the rest tomorrow!

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Yes, I know the feeling. My own story was starting to get rather lengthy, so I tried to wrap it up faster than I would have if I had another thousand words or so. And even when I finished the first draft I was about 50 words over, so it needed a little editing. Don’t get me wrong, 2000 words is a perfect limit. I don’t know how I’d read all those other stories if they were much longer.

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Earlier, I gave random impressions of the stories that most “clicked” with me, but I don’t want to imply that the others didn’t work for me on other levels. So here’s my comments on the rest of the entries. No offense to anyone is intended; I’m truly proud to be among this group of writers and have enjoyed reading all of these stories.

The Infinite Theater (Post #2)
Likes: The titular concept is a neat variation on infinite recursion, and the house of the photo seems like a good venue for such a project.
Comments: I never got a feel for the background of the character’s angst and didn’t have any sense that the theater experience had helped him complete a path toward enlightenment or that he’d even been on such a path. The insights described in the story might have needed some more development of their significance. I think the author intended to render the zap! of an epiphany but it felt more like the whoa of Bill & Ted’s Pop Physics Experience.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 32
The glitch (Post #3)
Likes: The banal use of the technological advances in processing power and virtual world building is pretty funny, and probably the realest seeming aspect of the story.
Comments: From a personal perspective, I find these ‘universe is just a computer simulation’ stories interesting mostly insofar as they show the high opinion programmers have of themselves, but they can be pretty fun. On a technical level, I found the exposition a little abrupt and contrived. Maybe it’s the dropped punctuation and lack of contractions in most of the dialogue.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 30
Collisions (Post #6)
Likes: The setup -the trip to Sunrise Acres without adequate clothing, the photo excursion to the monument, the cold and numbness and inattention leading to the collision- was all extremely believable and well rendered. I liked the consistent use of the metaphor, and the fact that the real lasting consequences to the narrator are due to the [gravitational] attraction of another sympathetic character into whose orbit the narrator has been jolted from the high energy ‘collision’ of the title.
Comments: This is pretty much a “meet cute” story isn’t it? The grandkids’ll like it.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 38
Old business (Post #8)
Likes: The situation and characters are imaginative.
Comments: I tried my best to follow just the basic storyline, but the presentation is too disjointed for me. There’s a lot going on and the storytelling doesn’t give the reader a lot of help in figuring it out.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 26
Party at Billy’s (Post #14)
Likes: It’s an intriguing puzzle for the young applicant and I looked forward to the solving of it.
Comments: I never got the connection between any of the celebrities and Pres. Taft, other than that they all were alive during the 20’s. I’d have liked some commentary from the guests, or some other discovery by the sleuth which developed this connection further.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 37
The Luck of the Draw (Post #16)
Likes: I thought the pacing and construction of the story were good, and the convention experience was believable.
Comments: Even though I knew the tone was intended to be more wistful than anguished, this story seemed like it should have been more emotionally involving, but it felt to me like a dry recitation of an old story. I wondered if that’s what the author was going for, since the narrator is an octagenarian or better by the time of the telling.
Arbitrary Rating on a xenophon scale of 0 - 41: 37

35

Some reactions as I read–

The Infinite Theatre
Took the picture in a straightforward (heh) way and incorporated it into the story. Lovely paragraphs about San Francisco–made me long to visit the city again. I like the idea of working with the actual picture, and imagining what the building holds. The story wasn’t at all what I was expecting.

The Glitch
Another writer who recognised San Fransisco immediately.
“No more mistakes like the Edsel or New Coke…” made me laugh.
Great ending!

A Prince of Parys
No fair! No resolution. I did like this, the sci-fi/fantasy theme.

Tough Love
I really liked this one. I liked the combination of magic and reality, and I liked the dynamic of the father-daughter encounter. Daddy’s little girl isn’t perfect. I liked the ending, as well. Yep, I enjoyed this story. I thought the writer did a great job of a beginning, middle, and an end, a climax, a resolution, and yet still left part of the story untold.

Collisions
Back to reality, and the magic of ordinary lives and coincidence. This one had a twist for me–I wasn’t expecting the way it wrapped up. It felt a bit short; I could have done with a bit more detail at the end about the woman who would be so important. A nice tale!

The Wages of Sin
Interesting! Nice lead up, and I wasn’t expecting the twist at all. A few typos near the end, but they didn’t mar my enjoyment of the story. No wonder little security was needed. I felt this was tight and well-plotted, the author craftily leading us along. Very interesting usage of the prompt imagery, as well.

Old Business
I had a bit of an issue with the punctuation, as it sometimes made it unclear what was narrative and what was dialogue. But it was a fast-paced story, with a bit of danger, romance, humour, and tech all mixed in. It kept my attention. With a bit of editing for punctuation, this would be even better. I suspect that the writer’s first language isn’t English, if so, kudos all the more for writing a good story.

The Sliding Floor
Well done. Despite the chaotic setting, I could follow along, and the tension carried me through to the ending. Great twist, too.

With All the Lights On
Yeah, the narrator in this one was pretty grim. I wanted to slap her. Story was confusing, and too full of its own enjoyment of language. Needs a good editing. And word-trimming.

Three Drops
A little trouble with the punctuation; full stops in the middle of a sentence with dialogue. This chopped up the story in my head as I read it. I liked the usage of fantasy and reality mixed in together. I thought it was quite imaginative.

The End
This one really got to me. I thought it was very well written, and while I suspected what would happen as I read, it just felt natural. It was nicely paced, it seemed to be just the perfect length. The writing style is very good–no obvious errors that took me out of the story, and the feeling of something done by someone deft and talented.

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City of the Living
I liked this one. I really liked the point of view it’s written from, and the narrator. I thought it was really well done. Now when I see someone with a shopping cart, dirty clothes, and a distant look in their eye, I will think of this story, and wonder who pities who.

Party at Billy’s
Not at all what I was expecting from the title! What an interesting idea. Dang, why can’t I come with cool ideas like this?

Last Night
I liked this one, even if at first read I didn’t know what made the house shift. Nicely told slide into obsession and despair at the end.

The Luck of the Draw
As someone who enjoys a thick book, an adult beverage and time with a little dog, this certainly appealed to me from the start. Really well written, and satisfied me as a reader. I liked the elements of luck and chance, and the narrator’s admittance of what she’d done as well as the doubts about it, and the justification.

37

My votes are in. I wish I had the time to participate, but after reading these, I know I would have been up against some tough competition. Excellent work, all!

38

I voted ages ago. The hamsters ate my comments and I haven’t had the time to go through the stories again.

From memory, The End was my favourite (it seems a winner for others, too). You made me cry, you bastard.

Close second,* City of the Living.* Loved the narrator seeing these ‘superior beings’ and being wholly unimpressed.

Both of these were excellent examples of ‘showing, not telling’. Their narratives were clear and right on point without having to spell out the action. It’s something I tried to do in mine and fell short.

Other votes: Party at Billy’s. A couple of plot holes but too much fun to miss my vote. The money seems excessive for the 30’s and how did Billy place the ad? He didn’t seem to notice anything off about that experience.
*
Collisions*. Sweet little story. Loved the twist ending, seemed to commpletely invert expectations.

And the others. There were no bad stories in here. I just voted for those that either hit me very strongly on the first read, or stayed with me so I looked forward to reading them again.

This thread reads like any anthology I’ve picked up over the years. My favourites are only preference, not judgement.

And** xenophon41**, a very belated thanks for your insight and score. I’m honoured. I’ll be re-writing this one and will take everyone’s comments on board, but I’m glad there’s someone else who enjoys looking up the references.

39

This poll closes in roughly 38 hours and so far only it has only gathered 11 voters. I’ve appreciated the commentary so far and would love to hear from the authors and innocent bystanders who haven’t weighed in yet.

40

^^What Barkis is Willin’ said.^^

I look forward to the analyses and interactions with the other writers, and it would be wonderful to have some criticism from non-entrants as well. If you haven’t participated in a group like this, you may not know how valuable your insights are! Particularly the comments which point out techniques or voices or aspects of style that didn’t work for you.

Thanks to everyone who’s participated, and thanks in advance to those who will.