If you feel insulted about such remarks, report them. And I note that you retaliated yourself by accusing the other poster of pulling stuff “out of his ass.” If you found this offensive, you shouldn’t have done it yourself.
Bone cited a specific GD rule in mod-noting (not warning) you for that:
In short, you responding to what you call vulgarity by using the same expression yourself, and then upped the ante by violating a specific rule.
Are you asking whether or not it should be OK to refer to the folks you are debating as “hot and bothered”, or are you asking whether or not doing so is worse than telling the folks that one is debating that they are “pulling stuff out of their ass” ? (ETA: And are you soliciting general opinions and feedback, or only from the moderators? I am not a moderator)
People get passionate about issues they care about when they are debating. It is never a good thing to start making ad hominem attacks on people in a debate. (Their alleged badness doesn’t make them wrong). Tone policing (to use a trendy phrase for it), i.e., bringing attention to the other party’s mood or emotional investment in their side of the issue, is indeed a form of ad hominem. In my opinion, you should avoid doing it, unless their behavior within the debate is significantly shaped by it and you feel the need to draw attention to their behavior (abusive or whatever) within the debate.
Examining and dismissing someone’s cited evidence or documentation of their claims, on the other hand, is legitimately relevant to the debate. I don’t think it should be done in an unnecessarily insulting way unless the person doing so thinks the other participant is not providing cites in good faith but instead is putting things out there that they fully know to be garbage cites (“pulled it out of your ass”).
Overall, I’m reminded of 3rd and 4th grade, where “Well, he started it” and “But what about them, they were doing it too” was generally dismissed by the teachers as completely irrelevant to whether or not the kid in question had done something they shouldn’t ought to have done. Your mileage may vary.
Doesn’t matter (to me at any rate) whether it’s sexual or not; it implies “you aren’t thinking with your rational brain”. Another of that ilk is “Methinks someone forgot to take his afternoon meds”. Yet another is “Ooh is it that time of the month for you or something?”. They’re all a form of ad hominem, an attack on the poster and not the logic of what they’ve posted. I don’t know as how I’d make them “against the rules” but they’re bad form.
If you are talking to me: I was accusing him of overreacting with vulgarity, in saying “hot and bothered,” as in “why do you have to be vulgar obscene and insulting, to me.”
I most certainly did not accuse him of pulling something out of his ass, unless you mean my calling him out on it, quoted by someone below, and using the phrase back. It makes a difference.
You’re a moderator. You quoted me in responding to someone, in one post, using a phrase back to the poster, who was abusing me over and over with obscene vulgar shit. What do you think this says about me?
I has to matter whether it’s sexual. Because that’s what we are discussing: the rule about sexual imputation. We are also discussing the rule about insults and obscenity.
When you taunt someone with sadistic obscene shit and then you need them to be careful about responding to you because they might do something that you were doing yourself, in the midst of trying to defend themselves… where is that argument going intellectually?
Few people, I think, would agree that “pulling something out of your ass” was sadistic obscene shit. Being hyperbolic about what was said does not help your case. (And if you object to vulgarity, why do you persist in using it?)
I was asking him if he recognized himself in his comments at me. You really think this is the same thing as what he did? I’m sure you know the difference. I did it after being taunted.
You’re a moderator. Is it appropriate to repeatedly call someones opinions “Coming out of your ass” when we are all anonymous posters here with opinions to offer? If you do should you not be reminded that you are doing that?
It’s a simple question.
Here’s another question: “Hot and bothered” is sexual? What if someone was abusing you with vulgarity and you said he was “hot and bothered”?
Do you think he is sexually excited or enraged? Which usage and meaning of hot and bothered do you use to discipline me, when I don’t do what you want? Does context come into it?
You may not think so, from here. If it happens tell me how you feel. I don’t like it at all.
If you choose to use that as a constant theme in a conversation I think that after doing it 2 or 3 times to the same person that person might remind you that you have opinions too. Worth just as much.
While I personally don’t think it’s the friendliest construction, it’s similar in nature to challenging the basis for a claim. Similarly, calling an argument “bullshit” carries the same implication. Calls for a cite, calls to support a claim, assertions that claims have poor or no evidence to support them, these are all fertile ground in Great Debates. I think the best way to rebut or address these are to support whatever claim or argument is being made.
If you think something crosses the line, then please report it. Tit for tat isn’t consistent with the idea that the idiom is personally offensive. In this instance, the usage did not seem to be any particular rule violation.
I interpret this phrase to be sexual in nature. I acknowledge that there are multiple meanings and that it is not necessarily sexual. Because there is ambiguity, my comment in this instance was a note. If it was clear the comment was sexual in nature then my comment would have been a warning because there is a clear and specific rule against sexualization in this fashion.
Overall we strive for civil debate. Often things get heated and that’s to be expected and why we have the reporting system and moderators. Even if something when done a single time like saying something is bullshit is typically no problem, if a poster’s response contained nothing but repeating “bullshit” over and over then that would be where I’d step in to get the thread back on track.