Waiters: YES, I want my change, thank you!

The BBQ Pit
41

I’ve rarely been asked if I wanted change back from the server*. It wouldn’t bother me to the point of lecturing the person involved, but it does come off as a somewhat offensive way of nudging the customer for a tip.
What gets me lately is something they’re apparently teaching in Server 101 in the less-than-haute dining establishments I eat in these days. Instead of coming around after the meal is begun to ask if everything’s OK or if you need anything else, the waiter/waitress will cheerily ask “How does the food TASTE”?

There’s something slightly creepy about this question, even if I wanted to give restaurant reviews on demand. For awhile there I was contemplating effective answers, such as “Too much goddamn paprika” - or putting on a look of concern and responding “Why do you ask? Is there a problem in the kitchen? Are customers complaining?”

Now I just come back with the answer to the question they should be asking, and say “No thanks, we don’t need anything else.”

*This terminology has always seemed weird, like you’re referring to an inanimate object such as a comforter or a futon. And “waitstaff” suggests a medieval weapon.

42

Many here have stated the question is standard in the restaurant industry. I don’t recall hearing it at all until a couple of years ago and thought then that it was one of the oddest things I had ever heard a server ask. While I would never lecture or make comment to the person, I do consider the asking to be a bit rude and an implicit plea for a tip.

43

This whole thread has danced around the issue of tipping in general, which I find both ridiculous and offensive. If I, as an employee of a restaurant, cannot perform my duties to *reasonable * satisfaction, I should stand to be dismissed, after the proper disciplinary/ corrective/ training issues have been addressed. I’ve long felt that all those people who work with the general public, and depend on tips as their bread and butter, should simply be paid a wage commensurate with their experience and ability, kinda’ like most everyone else. Yeah, I can hear it coming already; this is their motivation to perform better, etc., etc. Why is this one industry structered this way? Perhaps this philosophy could be applied to our elected officials, too? Your insurance agent, after your rate jumped 14% (again)? CEO’s who fail miserably, then get a multi-million$$ parachute? The LAPD? :dubious: :smiley: Hey guys, here’s how it works: you get paid a pittance, then hope your customers decide to bestow upon you the rest of your salary, based on their dispostion, mood, and whether they got laid last night or not. I don’t work in food service, but DO work with an ever-increasingly cantankerous and arrogant public, and I can relate to rate of pay tied to the whims of your customer. Believe it or not, sometimes you CAN do your job quite excellently, and STILL not please someone. Ask any contractor. When this standard is applied to everyone, I’ll drop the subject. In the meantime, regarding the OP, you don’t like the service? Don’t go back.

44

And until they are, they’re entitled to be rude?

45

You know- I saw this OP, and I said to myself- "Self, I will bet that very soon the OP (or any poster that says anything except about what underpaid goddesses waitstaff are), will be called a “cheapskate” and “rude” and someone will be saying how hard working & underpaid waitstaff is. :eek:

My gawd- I am a fucking Nostradamas. :dubious: :rolleyes:

I hope that sometime we’ll have restaurants that care less about being so damn cheap that they’ll just pay their waitstaff a decent wage, and we’ll pay an extra 10% hidden into the food price. That would be great. This whole tipping thing is stupid. And you know why we have it? Becuase restaurants get two things out of it- they get to be cheapasses- and then (get this, this is fucken genius ) their employees blame the customer . :eek:

Waitstaff- there are no "cheap customers’- just “cheap employers”. Your employer is underpaying you- NOT the customer. You are employed by the restaurant- not the customer. Your "employer" is supposed to pay you, not the customer. :mad:

As to the question directed to the Op- I don’t mind if the amount is in some way even close to a tip amount.

46

I hate posting AGAIN in another tipping thread, but there is no way I would have waited tables for a flat rate at whatever a restaurant would consider a “decent wage.” Waiting tables was far too difficult, stressful, physically and mentally exhausting to do it for anything less than the 10-12.00 per hour that I made off tips.

A nice lady (a regular at my restaurant) actually offered me a job serving for her catering company. When she told me the pay was 6.00 an hour, I politely told her no thanks!

47

Listen to Emily Fucking Post. Stop being so hypersensitive. You have people bringing you food and drink while you sit on your lazy ass and sniffily check off etiquette boxes on your mental clipboard. You don’t know you’re born. Honestly, getting mad because the server says “do you need change?” instead of “I’ll be right back with your change.” Like their expectation of a tip for service is some new and foul bodily excretion. No, this isn’t the refinement of civilization, this is the whining of spoiled children. Get back to me when one of them throws an ashtray at you or something.

48

The laws of “supply and demand” would generally dictate that what you earn now would have to be the “decent wage”. Of course- you’d have to pay taxes on all of it… :stuck_out_tongue:

49

bolding mine.

Sorry, complete hijack here. What does that saying mean? And what part of the country (or world) is it from? I’ve never heard it before.

End hijack.

Back to the OP, I don’t think anyone is “getting mad”. But as a few servers and one restaurant manager here in the thread have said.

We’re taught NOT to pressure customers for tips. And asking if a customer would like change is while, not “rude” is a sneakily presumptuous way of “reminding” the customer and angling to make sure one gets a tip.

50

Wow. I blow off a little steam, go off to a movie and dinner (pretty good service this time, although it annoys me when a different server, and not the one who took the order, brings each course, but that’s another thread), and when I come back there are 43 posts. I had almost forgotten about it.

In my defense, let me add a few points to clarify both the general and specific situations.

First, although I have never worked as a waiter, I have been a busboy and a bartender and held other jobs in food service. So I know what it’s like to work for tips and I’m usually a generous tipper: almost never less than 20%, 25% is not unusual, and on small checks (one drink or cup of coffee) 100% is not unheard of.

Second, in the case of the waitress I spoke to today, this was the second time she had asked me exactly the same question. The first time (several weeks ago) I stiffed her for it: 10%. Later I realized that this couldn’t have been very effective in conveying the reason for my displeasure. So when she repeated it today, I spoke to her about it.

Now, as for whether doing so was assholish, rude, snarky, or whatever, I will repeat that I did it politely, with what I intended to be a helpful and non-confrontational attitude. I emphatically was not sarcastic, angry, or even heated.

And here’s the missing piece of this pie that I hope may redeem me (in part at least) in the eyes of my critics. She was clearly a young and very inexperienced waitress, which is why I decided to offer advice. I would not have bothered with an older, more seasoned server. The staff at this restaurant (the Hard Times Cafe in Columbia, MD, if you really want to know) turns over very quickly, and is almost invariably composed of attractive young women who seem to be in their first job or first waitress job. I have the impression that management is mainly interested in their looks and doesn’t spend much time on training.

One of the points I left out of my OP that added to my ire at this young lady was that I got the sense in her blank reaction to my suggestion that she considered the whole job beneath her, and that my telling her how to do it better was just another indignity she had to suffer. Poor little girl. You’ll go far in this world with an attitude like that.

I like this restaurant, and don’t intend to give it up because of one inept server. If so, I would have stopped going a long time ago. And I probably don’t have to worry about snot or spit in my chili: if history is any guide, chances are good I’ll never see her there again. And if I do and she does, I’ll eat it with relish. (Well, no, actually. I hate relish.)

So thanks to all who have posted, both for me and ag’in me. I’m gratified that some people see the situation as I do, and that there are even restaurant managers who are fighting this kind of thing. Particular thanks to bordeland and TeaElle for their eloquent and civilized observations. As for those who saw fit to differ with me, I hope my explanation has improved my standing with you a bit.

And if not, screw you, you self-righteous pricks!

(We can say stuff like that in the Pit, right? Cool. I almost never cuss IRL.)

51

I see. So waitstaff should be excused everything up to the point of throwing ashtrays? Expecting to be waited upon while dining with a modicum of manners is “the whining of spoiled children”?

I will tip generously if the service is adequate. I will reduce my tip if the service is not adequate. To me, part of adequate service is not referring to a tip, even obliquely. That is rude. As was your response to TeaElle’s non-confrontational post.

52

[QUOTE=GaWd]

[QUOTE=commasense]
The first time I think the waitress got the idea, but today’s waitress just stood there gawking and didn’t seem to understand what I was talking about. Nor was she particularly gracious about receiving what I offered as polite and helpful advice.

Sorry, but I’m with the OP. Asking a customer if he wants his change is EXACTLY the same thing as asking for a tip. It’s bad form and earns the asker a 50% less tip in my book. It’s rude, presumptuous, and really, really bad business.

53

(bolding mine)
According to the OP, the waitperson didn’t ask if the diner wanted change…the waitperson asked if he wanted his change. It’s the difference between helping your customer and asking for a tip.

Regardless of what waiters may think, they do not deserve a tip if they are rude. Asking for a tip is rude. He or she is lucky she got anything at all.

54

I don’t suggest going to a very fine dining restaurant then, quite alot of them have Team service, where a Captain or Sommelier might advise you on a wine choice, the front waiter would spiel the specials for you and take the order/serve drinks/supervise, back waiter serves the food, and busboy clears plates, brings water, etc.

(least that’s how the fine dining restaurant I worked as a front waiter in handled their teams…mind you, it was the kind of place a couple would usually spend 2-300 bucks on dinner.)

And FWIW, if I’d ever asked a customer if he wanted his change back, my Captain and Manager both would have torn me a new one.

55

Hazel-rah, no way. I can’t see it your way at all. The rules of the game are what they are, and you cannot change them. Railing against these rules may be cathartic at times, but too much of such railing garners no sympathy from anyone and ultimately does nothing to improve your situation.

I repeat:

56

I once had a hideous waitress who brought us drinks and then sat in the corner with her friends pointing and laughing at us, ignoring us, and doing everything but wait on us.

We paid the check to the penny and left. She actually chased us out into the mall and asked us why we stiffed her! Then I gave her the tip. “Get into a business that doesn’t involve the public, sister!”

57

I also thought asking “do you want your change” was a bit rude the first time I heard it. I think I actually said “Huh?” . The waitress then said–quite a bit more slowly–the change, do you *want * it? I just nodded and looked dumbstruck I guess. Then I left her a 15% tip.

To me it sounded like panhandling. If I have figured the exact tip in I will say, keep the change. If I don’t say that then you can assume I do indeed want my change. Especially if it’s a $20 bill for an $11 check.

58

You have it completely backwards. The establishment (and by extension, the server) is lucky to have the customer, not the other way around.

While eating out does count as one of life’s little extras, the main point is that people are willing to exchange money for food service. People who pay can reasonably expect professional, courteous service (which admittedly means different things to different people). So why can’t paying customers have expectations of service?

I don’t understand your angle of “Hey, customer – you’re in a fortunate position in this world, so STFU and deal!” Why can’t people demand and expect more than a minimum of service if they are willing to pay for it?

…

If I may, may I inquire a little about your experiences in food service? What level of establishment was it? How was the management? The camaraderie among the staff?

59

I can accept that “pressuring” a customer for a tip is a bad thing. I’m having trouble seeing how a waiter saying “Would you like change back?” is a pressurizing statement when this

found at the bottom of every credit card receipt isn’t.

Honestly, if you want to avoid pressuring your customers, you should do something about that, what could be a clearer indication that a tip is expected? Since management is A-OK with having that on every single receipt they give, they shouldn’t be tearing anyone a new asshole for inquiring about the change.

60

Cheesesteak: I think this would be the analogous situation: