They’re currently in the process of installing a Wal-Mart Forward Command Death Base here in town. They had a billboard up reading, essentialy, “Hiring! Meet our job consultant in the alley behind whatever building” Within two days the dank pit was staffed, by the denizens of Hell as far as I know. Soon the temple will be completed and will open its gates, pouring evil and bile out into the street.
I currently live across the street from a Super Mega Whatever Wal-Mart.
It’s okay.
I currently live down the road a bit from a Super Target.
I LOVE the Super Target.
I could walk to the Wal-mart. I’d rather drive to the Target and have a much better time in a less cheapie environment. Though the Wal-Mart is just fine as far as Wal-Marts go – it’s clean, it’s large, it’s not too badly laid out (though there’s only one type of plunger in the Housewares section; to get your typical wooden thing with an orange head you have to go aaaaaall the way across the store to Hardware. Obviously. Anyone in Housewares wants to spend $8.50 on a white and taupe plunger with a little holder all its own).
For “juicy” read “able to hold way more water than is natural so that the weight is greater allowing us to rip off our customers with greater efficiency and minimum cost”. I find this the most repulsive thing that’s done to ostensibly unprocessed food these days. I refuse to believe that it’s normal to be able to wring out a chicken breast. I don’t know if I agree that it’s not Walmart’s fault, as presumably they choose their suppliers, but I doubt they came up with the idea. It’s just economics really - until consumers catch on that this is really fucking gross and gets them worse value for money, the shops will stock what appears cheapest.
You really have to pop into a Wal*Mart quarterly to renew your hatred of this store. Every now and again I tell myself it can’t be that bad and drop in because it’s closer than Target. About a minute into my shopping I realize I was right, it’s not that bad. It’s worse.
I must say, though, Wal*Mart added sexual orientation to the anti-discrimination portion of its corporate policy this summer. This, my friends, is a good thing.
Does anyone know Target’s official policy re discrimination and homosexuality?
We have three, count 'em, three Super Wal-Marts within 3 miles of our house. All of them replacement stores for the old Wal-Marts that are now beached whale buildings sitting there empty. (Although one of the empty ones has had a sign out front for the past year that says: “Coming Soon: Hong Kong Market.” Apparently “soon” isn’t THAT soon.)
Except for the fact that after midnight the Wal-Marts turn into hangouts (along with the local Home Depot) for teenagers,they’re all three clean, staffed with at least moderately courteous people, where they pick up the carts in the parking lots regularly, stuff gets put back where it’s supposed to on a regular enough basis that you don’t find much stray stuff strewn around, and their selection is pretty good. Oh, and they keep the volume down in the electronics department.
They’re not ALL bad, folks. (Well, except for the wages they pay their employees, etc., but I’m talking about for a shopping experience.)
i just feel for whoever works in such conditions. It’s not that the employees are bad, but so much crap is fed to their brains that they become zombies.
btw, the walmart i know in Montreal is fairly clean and properly monitored (ie stuff go back on the shelves fast than stay on the floor)
Can I assume you didn’t go to WalterMart to get married?
I was in one once, for about 20 minutes, visiting a friend in Albuquerque. That was enough for one lifetime. There are none near anyplace I’ve lived. I guess land’s too expensive and the permits too many. There is a Stew Leonard’s and Home Depot within driving distance which I’ve been to, and a CostCo which has based its decor and product line entirely on the episode of The Simpsons where Apu goes to the Megalomart, “Where Shopping is a Baffling Ordeal”. Bring the NY Times to read in the checkout line and you’ll survive. If you ever need five pounds of butter at once, or 28 AA batteries in a plastic sleeve, or a can of coffee big enough to keep Paris awake for a month, at least the freezing concrete floors are clean.
However, in Astor Place, gateway to the ultra-hip East Village, the last place you’d expect to find such a thing, is a full-fledged, multi-floor K-Mart that has been in its death throes since the day after it opened. You’ll find tourists, some of the less wealthy and elderly inhabitants that have somehow not been pushed out by the yuppies driving up the East Village rents, and lots of NYU students. Aside from a halfway decent food court on the second floor with a great view of Cooper Union, people treat the place like they do the subway: Walk in determinedly, know where you’re going because ain’t nobody going to help you find out, get what you want, stand in line, get the hell out. The supermarket part, very heavy on ultra-processed food that students like, is in the basement. Now, the fine old building this intruder is in is next to the subway. Above the subway, in fact, and there is an doorway leading to the subway in a corner which is very useful and one of the few retail store entrances left from the old days (used to be a meeting hall up there). Now, we all know I am a strong advocate of public transportation and love the subway, but I would not buy my food a few yards from it. The rats under the 6 platform must be as happy as the Fulton Fish Market cats, although bigger, of course.
Finally accepting the fact that Woolworth’s is closed for good, I ventured there last year looking for a humidifier filter. Getting across the concept of “humidifier” was hard enough for the staff, almost all of whom were allegedly native English speakers, and the idea that they have filters you can change every season was an even more mind-boggling prospect. Finally, on my own, I found some, but of course they didn’t have the type I needed. Somebody who also has a Holmes must have been there before me and gotten frustrated too, because half the boxes were ripped open and humidifier filters were lying around like pathetic white honeycombs all over the floor. Fortunately, there was plenty of other stuff to keep them company down there.
I ended up going to a little dusty but orderly neighborhood hardware store on 23rd Street where the owner and I, after an extended sequence of communicating in English, Russian, and pantomime, located the exact filter at a competitive price. As I paid him and walked out to a friendly wave and smile, I was glad there were still retailers like him out there.
We have Lidl. I love Lidl. Where else can you find the pretzels next to the chemical toilets, or bulk buy suggestive chocolate covered bananas for a reasonable price? Where else can you buy a huge bottle of ‘Wodka Wit Lemons’ for the price of a packet of crisps or browse ear cleaning kits next to the chilli?
I don’t know if this will aplly to ALL Walmarts but the one in my area has a few loopholes in its craziness.
I always park near and enter at the garden center. I use the sporting good, arts and craft and cleaning supply isles to get to the merchandise I need. Then I head straight to the jewelry case where there’s ALWAY a person standing there with nothing to do. It’s like my secret cashier. Then I make for the garden dept with my purchase tucked under like a football and my right arm straight out (with receipt on display) and pretend I’m running back a 99 yard punt.
FYI: The Astor Place station. Old pictures, things are much nicer and bustling now. This then-vacant building with the arches is the location of the K-Mart of the Damned.
WARNING WWW.NYCSUBWAY.ORG IS HIGHLY ADDICTIVE!! WARNING
Wal-Mart’s only redeeming value is that it keeps all of the Walmartians in a concentrated area so I can shop a little more peacefully at other stores.
My favorite part about Wal-Mart are the tanks of ill kept and often dead fish. YAY! Those are nice!
Super Target is the way to go, if you have one in the area.
Might I add another as yet unnamed Walmartian to the list? One of a particularly despicable nature, which has habits so disagreeable that I fear discouraging the rest of the population from entering the store. (Those of you, who are eating at your desks, may want to avert your eyes)
Here are some hallmarks of the breed:
· Parks in the fire lane, or at the end of an aisle, just in front of the landscaping.
· Purposefully strolls toward the powered scooter-buggy, then effortlessly hikes one leg over the seat whilst expertly depositing a gaping 47-pound purse in the front basket.
· Leaves buggy unattended and straddling the middle an aisle whilst perusing items at either end.
· Allows child/children/grandchildren and other various and sundry unsupervised offspring to ride scooters, skateboards, and bicycles throughout the store like sugar-crazed circus performers.
· Bends from the waist rather than at the knees to peer at items on low shelves, thus blocking an entire aisle with a wide and intimidating expanse of polyester covered hindquarters.
· Frequently meets others of the same species mid-aisle for impromptu conversation, in seeming complete oblivion to the desperate weaving and stutter-stepping of the frustrated shoppers in their wake.
· Typical of the breed is the propensity to select for purchase the only item in the store with no UPC code, though as yet I haven’t discovered how this oft-observed habit enhances the life of the animal.
· Another frequent habit I have observed is the congregation of said breed in the laxative section. In fact, I have observed the laxative aisle to be so congested with scooter-buggies that I feared a turf battle might break out in the event that the Sam’s brand powdered laxative supply run low. (I am presently awaiting the construction of a steel cage in order to study the action more closely, without risking a good cane flogging or rump collision)
· Leaves lone buggy precariously balanced against corner of curb, thus blocking the egress of the car in the handicap space.
As I said, I haven’t yet selected a name for this Walmartian, and my studies continue. If anyone on the board has a background in Latin or zoology, please feel free to classify said curiosity.
Where do you live in the city? I can’t think of anywhere that is that far from a Target. There are also Meijer’s on every side of town.
I think I can help. The name for which you’re looking is Walmartian Typicalis.
Wow–so WalMarts have powered vehicles that you can ride in the aisles? Why? Are they like wheelchairs? How much do they cost to rent and what’s the deposit?
I mean, if you’re handicapped and come to Macy’s, you have to bring your walker/wheelchair/crutches with you.
Oh, yes, the scooter-buggy is a free mode of transportation for everybody! Walkers, runners; all manner of able-bodied peoples may borrow them and clog the aisles at will.
(Unfortunately, the walkers, runners, and able-bodied are much lighter and quicker on their feet, and frequently beat the differently-abled to the limited supply of buggy-scooters, thus leaving the handicapped folks to sit in limbo on the bench by the greeter, where they are they are further sentenced to blasts of either freezing cold or steaming hot air each time the golden gates open and shut)
Upon completion of shopping expedition, the able-bodied Walmartian Typicalis (thanks, JuanitaTech ) then will leap free of the vehicle, and strand it mid aisle approximately 15 yards from the person who truly requires it to shop.
:rolleyes:
Dream thread: Wang-ka and his posse get jobs working at a Wal-Mart that’s managed by december, and Scylla visits.