Wanna Write/Critique A Quick "Go A Little Easy" Letter To A County Court Judge?

This ain’t homework, it’s work-work.

An employee recently got busted on a weapons rap. According to his public defense lawyer, he’s gonna do a minimum 2 months. After speaking to the attorney today, he requested I mail the judge a short letter notifying the court that his job will be here for them in the event he does time.

Talk about writer’s block. I don’t want to come off looking like I’m begging for leniency or make his future defendent sound like the second coming of Christ. What are you supposed to say in one of these things? His lawyer wasn’t all that helpful in offering suggestions. Maybe someone here can be.

Here’s what I threw together:

OK, a few questions:[ul][]Too short or too long?[]Too presumptuous or dispassionate?[]Personal letterhead or business letterhead?[]How do you close a letter to a judge: Sincerely, thank you or hang em high?[]What’s missing - what should be chopped?[]Should I try to appeal to the judge’s sympathies? (He’s from the Working Families Party)[/ul]Thanks in advance.

I think it sounds fine except for “pay his debt to society.” I can’t think of a better phrase offhand, but that is a bit flowery.

Oh, and send it on business letterhead.

I’m assuming he’s pled guilty or been tried and is simply awaiting sentencing. Given that, here’s how I would write the first paragraph:

“It has come to my attention that you will be sentencing an employee of mine, Pedro Vxxxxx, in the upcoming month. I would like to notify the court that Pedro’s job will be waiting for him upon completion of his sentence, whatever that might be.”

Other than that, I think it’s fine–it’s in your words and is stating your impressions of Pedro. You can sign the letter “Sincerely” or “Sincerely yours” or “Very truly yours”.

I wrote one years ago for one of my staff. The only additonal stuff it had, that was quite true was something along the lines of:

Marc’s behaviour in this instance was so totally out of character that it not only surprised his workmates but shocked Marc himself. He has taken steps to ensure that nothing like it happens again.

I gathered that the purpose of the reference was to help him avoid a custodial sentence, which he did.