Want To Be Jennifer Lopez's Personal Assistant? Job Opening!

Yes, there is a job opening to become J.Lo’s personal assistant!
There are a few minor details, but otherwise, gee - what a great opportunity to ensure you don’t have a life.

OK - line forms to the left…

What’s crazy is. . . that’s not really all that much money, considering all the things that person would have to do.

Hell, even if you leave aside the responsibilities and focus just on the hours, it’s not very much.

If you work the minimum hours that she suggests (6 days/week at 12hrs/day), and assuming you get 2 weeks vacation a year, and if she pays you the top end of her scale ($65,000), you’ll be making $18 an hour.

Yeah, but the low pay could be justified if the assistant also gets to be her personal nipple tweaker.


I think a job as a personal assisstant to a celebrity as notoriously diva-like as Jennifer Lopez would be a special kind of hell, no matter how close you’d get to be to lots of stars.

It actually sounded pretty good to me, until I read this bit:

What would be the point, then?

No thank you. :smiley: :smiley: :smiley:

Gee, I was thinking of retiring from my gov’t job and trying something else. This certainly would be something else. A nice way to supplement my pension.

Or I could just stay home and poke sharp sticks in my eyes. Decisions, decisions…

This whore must be on drugs.

Yeah, cause we know from the Has the recession created a “lost generation” of permanently unemployed? thread that you can’t even get a qualified machinist for $18 an hour - no one would possibly work for that who wasn’t a button pusher - and she wants a six day a week, twelve hour a day assistant who can cook, change diapers, handle foreign travel, knows the fashion industry, and put up with a diva for that.

$18 an hour as a machinist starts to look darn good.

That offa sounds mighty fine Ms. Lopez but if it is all the same to you, I think I will just stay right here on this plantation. Cotton pickin’ season is right around the corner and I would never want to miss that. I may not have much but the one thing I do have is self-respect.

You guys are forgetting the awesome severance package. Put up with her for 6 to 12 months, then blackmail the hell out of her. Or you could just marry her, though that’s the ethically questionable option.

To marry her, you’d have to run off her husband, Skeletor. And you know he ain’t letting go of that booty any time soon.

What I want to know is- is there any anal bleaching involved? Because that’s where I draw the line.

If I had no job and no decent prospects, I might consider it. Otherwise I’m not taking a pay cut to put up with her.

It’s not so much the cut in pay, the long hours, and the general humiliation. It’s that I’d have to put up with shit from a baby. Oh, and I’d also have to change diapers.

If I was young, single and in good health, I would certainly consider it. There is nothing wrong with changing diapers, and I could certainly put up with long hours and hectic demands for a year or so. I would imagine that when she travels, you travel - so she will be paying for transportation, food and lodging. You get an opportunity to meet various entertainment companies personnel and make contacts, you could take the opportunity to get hooked into a set of contacts and change to a less demanding celebrity if you do a good job and have a good reputation.

You know, its job offers like that one that make me re-think my settings on Career Builder.

“Oh, piss-boy…!” clap-clap

That’s not specifically mentioned in the job description. Considering the description as a whole, it wouldn’t surprise me much if the assistant had to not only pay his or her own fare, but J-Lo’s as well.

Yes, I have had bosses who were just that entitled.

But you guys don’t get it . . . you’d be in SHOW BUSINESS!

Yeah, you probably live in her house, so you have very minimal living expenses. But if you have to provide your own wardrobe, you are hosed - since the expectations of dressing properly for the environment will drain your salary. Since you are working 12 hour days six days a week, you aren’t going to have a lot of time for sightseeing when you travel, so that isn’t going to be terribly glamorous.

It could be worse - LiLo apparently just hired a personal assistant recently. Course, right now its an easy job with the whole prison/rehab thing.