My first kid was born 9 years ago, so not in the dark ages or anything. After delivery, the room I was assigned to was a double - the only option at this hospital. My roommate had had a C-section and was having a rough time recovering. Her son had jaundice, and apparently that wasn’t going so smoothly, either. She didn’t speak English, so all of the many visits from doctors were accompanied by translators, which meant that our small room was always crowded. Whatever food was delivered to the room was awful, and I was not really in any sort of condition to stagger to the cafeteria, so when my husband showed up without food on morning #2, well, it wasn’t a pretty scene. There’s another thing - because the rooms were so small and crowded, hubby had to leave overnight. I was not really OK with that. There wasn’t room for Baby to stay in the room, either, so he spent his first two nights away from his parents. Because of concerns about GBS, I was supposed to stay for 48 hours, but I whined sufficiently that we were discharged after about 36 hours. All in all, it was not a very nice experience. It’s true that I went home with a healthy baby, but why should that be the only criteria used to evaluate birthing options?
So, yeah. If there are options that mean more privacy, more accessible, better food, and a place for the spouse (or other supporters) and baby to stay, then I am one hundred percent behind them.
I had an outpatient surgery about ten months ago. Long after the fact, I was complaining to my mom – who was a nurse for 40 years – about some discomfort or another I’d experienced. She asked me why I didn’t call the nurse and ask for whatever. I was gobsmacked. “But Mom. I didn’t know you’re supposed to treat nurses like waitresses! I was only going to ask them to meet my medical needs; I had no idea they gave a shit if I was comfortable or my feet were cold the entire time.” They sure didn’t act like they gave a damn when they checked me in, so it was not made clear to me that nurses are supposed to bring you whatever you want and that you’re supposed to ask them to do this. :dubious:
The nurses I had were mostly concerned about the pain I was in; that was all good, so I bitched about the catheter instead :p, and yes, they did take it seriously! And found a doctor (mine was still in surgery) to say it was OK to remove it. Which I promptly felt guilty about, since I was still getting IV fluids and was told sternly not to get up to use the bathroom on my own, which meant I was ringing for help every hour or two until they discontinued the IV. Angels, they were. And as soon as I was out of the hospital, I sent them goodies and my most sincere thank you. I inadvertently made their job harder (though for reasons they couldn’t know, I was eternally grateful to have that catheter out).
I didn’t ask to be treated like a ‘princess’, but I did feel like someone cared how I felt. They could have just let me be until the doctor came to see me the next day - no medical reason not to.
YAY nurses! I could never in a million years do your job. THANK YOU.
I had the choice of two hospitals when I gave birth. One would provide me a group room to labor in (all pregnant women in the same room, separated by curtains), then would wheel me in to one of two sterile, operating-room-like delivery rooms at go time, then would wheel me to a third group room to “recover”. After that, I’d go to a fourth room (2-3 beds) to stay overnight.
The other hospital, a newer one run by the same HMO, put me in one huge room for labor, delivery, and recovery, then a private room (with my son and room for family) for my overnight stay. If that was princess treatment, then I was all over being a princess. My first children (twins) passed away, one at birth, the other at 10 weeks old, after being born VERY prematurely. My son was induced a month early due to a condition I developed during pregnancy. Having a relaxing birthing experience was absolutely vital to my mental health. Through eight months of pregnancy, I never believed my son was coming home to me until I checked in to the hospital.
It was all covered 100% by my insurance. Darn right I was choosing the nicer place!
I had four babies at a free-standing midwife run birth center.
Ways I was treated like “royalty”:
Most of the time I was the only patient the birthing center had. I had the full attention of a certified nurse midwife and an RN and often a third person (usually a student nurse or student nurse midwife)
The birthing room had a huge bathtub for laboring in (on my fourth birth I didn’t feel like laboring in it, so I took a long luxurious bath after the baby came)
My thoughts, instincts, wishes and desires were respected.
Felt like a celebrity after the birth. Everyone was thrilled for me, any employees of the center around came to visit and celebrate.
Ways I was not treated like “royalty”:
I was expected to leave 12 hours after birth. Though they bent this rule for me on two of my births.
Meals were not provided. Any food I or my attending family wanted we brought ourselves.
I was great and I wouldn’t give birth anyplace else unless medical reasons required me to do so. Not that I will be giving birth again ever.
The parts that were most important to me were feeling like my wishes were respected and that all decisions were made for my health and convenience and never just for the convenience of the facility.
Several months ago, my Dad was in the hospital for almost a week, running up close to a $90,000 tab (almost all paid for by his 2 different insurance companies, though he is on the hook for a little bit of it) and a week or two later he got a “Get Well” card in the mail, ostensibly asking about his ongoing recovery, signed by all of the various nurses and the aides that he interacted with during his stay, with an envelope inclosed, (just the right size for some cash, a check or a few gift cards) pre-addressed to the hospital nursing staff…
I was MORE than a little bit :dubious:, but maybe that is par for the course these days.
In any fairy tale I can think of, isn’t a “princess” protagonist of the story… Er… Vagina Incognita, if you will? Seems to me that a Royal Birthing would be a Queenly Experience
I would never call it a “Princess Experience” for that very reason - the word is ripe with somewhat pre-adolescent fantasy, which is extremely incongruent with delivering a baby - but the mother surely has earned any reasonable measure of comfort and solicitation. Which is why I acquiesced to my wife’s demands with obeisance and the address of “Your Pregnancy”. My wife was amused but her rather humorless OB seemed to find it irritating.
After the delivery I therefore refrained from proclaiming “Her Pregnancy is ended! – Long live Her Pregnancy!” because I didn’t want to have a bloody placenta hurled at my head, or worse.
And, IIRC from a tour of the palace of Versailles, a true Royal Birthing was actually fairly stressful and public: it was done in view of several high-ranking witnesses, to avoid any rumors of switched or fake babies being used as the heir. There was a railing for what was essentially a Standing Room Only viewing gallery. Peanuts may even have been served.
If ya have the means for a fancier and more pleasant alternative to what is already a hellishly painful and stressful experience, more power to ya says I.
When I was choosing a hospital, the first thing I did was to research who had the best NICU in the area. Not that I was expecting to need it, but I wanted it to be there just in case. As it turned out, the hospital with the best NICU also had very nice accomodations, single rooms, etc. For an extra fee you could be upgraded to a luxury suite, but we didn’t go for that. I can honestly say, though, that even if that hospital had had the most Spartan accommodations for the Moms I still would have gone there to be down the hall from the best NICU.
That is incredibly unprofessional and tacky on the part of the nursing staff. If I were you, I’d have forwarded the card and self-addressed envelope to the president of the hospital.
The only thing I got in the mail afterwards (besides the expected residual bills) was a survey. Good thing I guess, as the thank-you items I sent (a basket with reasonably healthy gourmet food items) wouldn’t have fit in an envelope …
MPB, I’ve been advised that it is considered highly unprofessional for hospital staff to even accept gratuities, let alone ask for same! I had a constant battle on this with my MIL. Why tip the nurse? Did you tip the doctor?
Back to the OP, the better labor and delivery rooms and service today are great things. In the bad old days women in labor were sometimes treated horribly. I could tell you stories, but it would take too long. IMHO the facilities now are way better in terms of treating birth as a natural and normal thing, and treating mothers as functioning human beings, while still keeping options for quick intervention available as they should be. I would also think that staying in the same private room for labor and delivery would tend to cut down on potential cross infection (IANAD).
Sorry, I should have been more descriptive. By ‘royalty’ or ‘princess’ experience I mean accomodations, not care. Like delivery and recovery rooms that look like a hotel with wood armoires to hide the medical equipment, a built in bench for partner sleeping, extensive menu, & extras like custom baby t-shirts that say “special delivery by Dr So-and-so”, etc. As opposed to a regular hospital room, a cot or recliner for partner to sleep in, standard hospital meals & the usual baby t’s.
Some hospitals have one or the other. I don’t think fetal and maternal outcome is affected by either.
Our hospital has both types of rooms, they haven’t had the budget to update them all. Same staff, same menu, all private, first come-first served. There are people who become unhinged (I’m told) when they don’t get the fancy ones. They’ll write letters about the horrible experience and how the hospital ruined their birth. Which I always thought was merely a few oddsters. However, from the baby shower experience it appears that a lot more than I thought really feel they need a plush setting for a good birth.
Also- sorry about not answering sooner but work became insane.
I get it. I had the choice of two hospitals on my insurance plan. I chose the inner city one with massive experience with seriously sick infants instead of the suburb one that had to transfer really ill babies. Just in case.
I can kind of see why people would be upset. For someone eagerly anticipating a baby, it’s a celebratory occasion, and in their heads they’re probably planning to have the baby in a nice, comfortable room with enough space for visiting family. Finding that a trick of scheduling or someone going into labor a couple hours before them means they’re stuck in in an unfriendly hospital room might seem like quite a kick in the ass after expecting something better. People hate disappointment.
Well, ‘princess’ is a judgemental word I used because of the extreme reaction to non-pampering I’ve seen & heard of. Somehow ‘Queen’ just doesn’t have the same immature inference.
As far as a historically royal birthing goes, if I were one of the majority of women in those days who gave birth in a dirt floored hut with far less care I think it would sound pretty good, even with a bunch of witnesses. Once the birth was well under way I lost all sense of modesty (perhaps just me).
All the rooms are same size (different floors but same wing). All have chairs for visitors although the ones in the plush rooms match. I wouldn’t perceive the less plush ones as ‘unfriendly’ but they obviously aren’t acceptable for some people.
