Was it wrong of me not to leave a tip?

Great Debates
#1

I just came back from eating lunch. I sat at the counter of a local resturaunt. I usually tip more than 15% (I usally leave $1.50 for an $8.50 lunch). Today, for the first time, I left no tip.

When I got to the resturaunt, it was busy. I knew I’d have to wait a few minutes before ordering. That was OK with me. However, I ended up waiting half an hour.

Reasons not to tip:

[ul]
[li]I had to wait half an hour before ordering. I only have an hour for lunch, and that includes the time it takes to walk back and forth. I don’t mind waiting a few minutes, especially when it’s busy, but half an hour?! [/li][li]Two people who sat at the counter AFTER I did ordered before I did. One of them even got her food before I got to order.[/li][li]When I finally did order, I ordered the meal without tomatoes on the sandwich (I hate tomatoes!). She even wrote it on the recipt. Sure enough, the sandwich came with tomatoes.[/li][/ul]

Reasons to reconsider:
[ul]
[li]I didn’t speak up. I was reading my newspaper for the first ten minutes or so, so I didn’t realize how much time was passing. Once I realized that some time had passed, I developed a perverse curiosity of wondering just how long it would be before they finally decided to ask me what I wanted. That’s why I didn’t just get up and walk out.[/li][li]It was busy and the waitresses may have been a bit harried.[/li][/ul]

It has always been my understanding that a tip is “earned” by granting good service. It is not an “entitlement” that the waiter/waitress is given to supplement their income. In this case, I was not given good service, and felt that no tip was warranted.

So, did I do the right thing, or should I go back tomorrow, apologize and leave an extra large tip?

Zev Steinhardt

#2

I think you did the right thing. However, if you want to be extra-careful, go back another day without your newspaper, see if the service is substantially better, and if it is, then leave an extra-big tip to make up for it, since that pretty much proves it had been your own fault (to some degree).

#3

From your description, it sounds like you were justified in not leaving a tip. Did the waitress aplogize profusely for making you wait and promise to expediate your order? If she/he/they were just oblivious to your presence for 30 minutes then no tip is appropriate. The tomato thing sounds like a kitchen screwup rather than the fault of the wait staff and you shouldn’t punish a good wait person for the errors of the kitchen, but you still were justified.

#4

I’m not one to say “tip no matter how bad the service is, because waiters get paid peanuts.” That’s IMO another question. But to me the question is whether you are penalizing the waiter for things that are out of her control, or whether she really was just a lousy waiter. In other words, if the service is crappy for reasons beyond the waiter’s control and I think he/she is doing the best he/she can in a bad situation, I still tip. But if the service is crappy because of things the waiter is doing, I don’t tip. So in your situation:

I had to wait half an hour before ordering. Could you tell why? Was the restaurant swamped and the waiter busting her butt to cover her tables as well as she could? (Tip.) Or was she ambling around and just not taking your order? (No tip.)

Two people who sat at the counter AFTER I did ordered before I did. One of them even got her food before I got to order. Did they have the same waiter as you? If so, did she just take their orders first, with no explanation? Did you order something more complicated to make than they did?

When I finally did order, I ordered the meal without tomatoes on the sandwich (I hate tomatoes!). She even wrote it on the recipt. Sure enough, the sandwich came with tomatoes. I’d give her a pass on this, though I’d mention it on my way out. She didn’t make the sandwich, and apparently even wrote it down correctly.

As a former waiter, I try to tip based on the waiter’s performance and not necessarily the whole restaurant’s. To do otherwise can mean penalizing the waiter for circumstances beyond his or her control.

For what that’s worth. :slight_smile:

#5

I always leave a tip. Even if the service is terrible I will leave like 10%. If the service is great I will 20% or sometimes a little bit more. Just the way I work. I see nothing wrong with you not tipping though…

#6

I think it was correct not to leave a tip. It’s the servers job to keep track of who has or has not ordered. It is not your responsibility to flag them down. I tend to leave a good tip in cases where the server is clearly overworked, but is obviously trying very hard, even if it took a long time - but my pet peeve is being deliberately ignored. It only takes a second to make eye contact with the customer and say “I’ll be right with you - we’re very busy today”. If they give me this simple courtesy, then I don’t feel like I’m being brushed off.

Well, this part I’m not sure that I agree with. Two things that bug me are: 1) people who always leave the same tip regardless of the level of service they received, and 2) people who slight the waiter because of something that wasn’t his/her fault. If she wrote “no tomatoes” on the slip, and you didn’t say anything to her when the sandwich came with tomatoes, then it’s really the cook’s fault, not hers. You can’t really expect her to lift up the bread on every sandwich she serves to audit the cook’s work. On the other hand, if you told her the problem and she didn’t rectify the situation to your satisfaction, then she doesn’t deserve a tip.

WARNING - THREAD SIDETRACK: What’s with tip “inflation”? When I was a kid, it was customary to leave a 10% tip. At some point, it became 15%. I don’t understand that. You can’t really say it’s because of inflation. After all, it’s a PERCENTAGE, so the tip amount automatically goes up proportionately with the higher cost of the meal. And these days, I occasionally dine with someone who will say “You’re ONLY going to leave a 15% tip?”. It’s like it’s wanting to go to an even higher percentage now. If I get really great service, I will often tip more than 15%, but why should I HAVE to?

#7

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Jodi *
**I’m not one to say “tip no matter how bad the service is, because waiters get paid peanuts.” That’s IMO another question. But to me the question is whether you are penalizing the waiter for things that are out of her control, or whether she really was just a lousy waiter. In other words, if the service is crappy for reasons beyond the waiter’s control and I think he/she is doing the best he/she can in a bad situation, I still tip. But if the service is crappy because of things the waiter is doing, I don’t tip. So in your situation:

**

Yes it was busy. But I don’t think it was so busy that a half-hour wait was required.

**

Same waitress. Yes, she just took their orders first. No, I ordered a regular meal. (Once I did order, it came in the regular amount of time)

**

Fair enough. If it had been that alone, I would have passed on it as well (it’s not the first time I’ve gotten tomatoes despite my requests, and when it’s happened, I didn’t “deduct” from the tip I left because of it). It was that coupled with the wait that did it for me.

Zev Steinhardt

#8

Then I wouldn’t fault you. If she served before you people who arrived after you and if you had to wait what you considered an inexcusably long time, then low tip or no tip was probably appropriate. Actually, I think it’s nice you’re even worried about it. :slight_smile:

#9

What are the laws about paying for the meal in full anyway?

Can you refuse to pay for some or all of a meal if theres significant problems?

#10

I truly think the newspaper may have played a part. That’s not to excuse the waitress, but I work a retail counter in a coin shop. There are times that I am waiting on a customer and have to duck into the back room to find something. When I come back, there are 4 more customers at the counter. I don’t know who was there first. Usually I throw out to the whole group “OK, who was first?” but not always.

When lunchtime comes and the seats at the counter fill up within seconds of each other, it’s probably hard to determine who is first. And a guy who is reading a paper without making eye contact or paying attention just might not be the first person I would help if I were working that lunch counter. Especially if I didn’t see him come in first because I was not at the counter when he sat down.

Bottom line for me. I would probably have tipped 10%. Just me.

#11

Zev
Shame on you! You should always leave a tip! For good service, you should leave a fifteen or a twenty percent tip. For terrible service, like you received, ten

as in “ten cent.” This is much more effective than leaving no tip as it makes the point that you were disatisfied rather than merely cheap or forgetful.

BTW, I’ve thoroughly puzzled by “tip inflation” myself. I understand why people who get tips push for it. I don’t understand why some other people get so righteously indignant about someone who doesn’t leave a twenty percent tip. Now you even hear twenty five percent being mentioned as a standard for “good service.”

#12

Zev -

In my view no tip should have been left. Since I have waitressed myself, I would also add that she should have checked your order before it was brought to you and made certain that no tomato was in your sandwich.

If the cook screwed up, she should have informed him. I always did. It didn’t take very many times before the cook got my orders correct!

I think the service she provided you with was pretty sloppy.

#13

Having worked as a waiter before, I almost always leave a tip. However, there was just one time where I not only didn’t leave a tip, but got a little bit of revenge.

I was eating lunch at a restaurant rather late… maybe 2 or 3 p.m. it was fairly empty and there were certainly plenty of waiters around for the few people who were eating. I had been waiting for my food maybe 45 minutes (on a 1 hour lunch break) and finally, after not saying anything, I said, “excuse me…” when the waitress passed by. She turned around and snapped, “damn it, I only have two hands!” at me and stormed off.

After my meal came (another 20 minutes or so, late going back to work. Grr.) I was given the check. I paid the exact amount and wrote on the bottom of the check, “I understand that you have two hands, but you won’t need either of them to pick up the tip I didn’t leave you.”

Usually though, I tip 20%… this is because waiters often get paid LESS than minimum wage as they are expected to make up the difference in tips. Many times they don’t make up the difference at all and quite honestly, considering all the crap they have to put up with, I think they deserve it… especially if they are friendly and prompt.

#14

If, all things considered, you feel that you got really bad service from this waitress, you shoul still tip. However, the tip should be only 10 or 25 cents. That way she knows you did not like the service and did not just forget the tip.

#15

Actually, I agree with Edlyn and sward.

If you don’t tip at all waitpersons (I am told) tend to assume that you are just rude and/or cheap.

A tip as low as a dime or quarter (I once left a penny tip, no joke, the service was so damn lousy) sends the message that you knew you should tip, but felt the service was terrible.

IMHO, of course.

#16

OOps. That should have been Truth Seeker and sward.

#17

I might’ve left a couple of coins…just peeking out from under the edge of the nice, juicy tomatoes.

My problem is that they always forget to bring the milk. Why is that? They never forget pop or coffee…just milk. Pisses me off.

#18

I hate to be the one to bring this up, Zev, but under Reasons to Reconsider:

Is this a regular lunch spot and do you plan to return soon?

How likely is it that even now, the tip-less counter staff is debating what interesting items they can leave in your sandwich (apart from nice, juicy tomatoes)?
I wouldn’t withhold a tip if I knew I would be returning to that restaurant.

#19

I was thinking the exact same thing, Jack. (And no sarcasm this time!) It reminds me how conventional rational choice theory (microeconomics) is always frustrated by the behavioral fact that people will leave tips when dining in restaurants to which they’ve never been before and to which they’ll never return again. In this case, since you mention it’s a local restaurant, zev, some consideration should be given to whether you ever want to eat there again–and, if so, whether it wouldn’t be safer to apologize beforehand and leave an extra tip next time, to preempt any waitperson shenanigans.

#20

Side question…

A friend of mine who works in a restaurant tells me that he’s paid below minimum wage, based on the fact that tips are supposed to make up for the missing part of the salary. He also says this is common practice at restaurants.

This sounds seriously illegal to me, yet if it’s a common practice, I’m amazed that it happens at all.

I agree with Zev that a tip isn’t an entitlement, but an earning for a job well done. Regardless of whether it’s common practice, I’d be astonished if someone ever sued for a tip. It’s basically a gift offering from the customer to the server for a job well done. (It’d be like a child suing his parents for Christmas presents. They’re PRESENTS.)