Waterpark ride: skipping a stone on a lake, but you're the stone

[Leo_Bloom]

This actually started out as the GQ:

If somehow you could be projected in a fairly flat trajectory across a lake, and you assumed a cannonball position, how far could you be skipped without being torn apart?

*Then it morphed, *

Maybe an arched, hyper-extended dive position, but horizontal, is better? But I still like the image of the cannonball…

Then it morphed,

How would this get done? Cannonball: construct centrifugal sling shot-twirler, guy’s in net basket or something, gets released at right moment/energy?

Then,

Trickier for horizontal launch. Person lies prone on pallet, maybe? Still dicey. Doable?
Then,

If this works, doesn’t kill anybody, and is fun, I hereby claim ownership of the idea. (Address inquiries through the admins.)
Thoughts on any the of pre- or post-morph GQs?
.

[GreasyJack]

Have you ever done the thing where you get pulled behind a speedboat on an innertube? When you’re actually on the tube, you’re pretty much skipping across the water but once the boat whips around a corner and you get thrown off you might get a skip or two before you’re a flailing around in the water trying to figure out which way’s up.

[Leo_Bloom]

Yes. I thought of how you can “water-ski” on your bare feet.

[Rick]

@GreasyJack

Have you ever done the thing where you get pulled behind a speedboat on an innertube? When you’re actually on the tube, you’re pretty much skipping across the water but once the boat whips around a corner and you get thrown off you might get a skip or two before you’re a flailing around in the water trying to figure out which way’s up.

I have come off a jet ski at speed and skipped a couple of times then augured in.

[cmyk]

Skipping stones, see, is all in the wrist.

Put your human in a large trebuchet turned on its side, making sure your mechanism gives your human a nice, quick flick at the end of the launch to give your human’s body some gyroscopic-like spin for stability. For general safety, you’ll want to launch your human at probably no more that 9 or 10 Gs, yet as high as possible for maximum velocity and skippage.

Now, being a human, and not a rock, we’ll need to discuss some sort of suit. You want as little drag as possible, so I’m thinking some sort of nylon or single-backed neoprene one-piece, maybe coated in teflon, with perhaps a large, brightly colored fin coming off the top of the head for flare and bravado.

[GusNSpot]

During the flood of 1957, there is a built up raised road on the cut off that goes to Whitehorn Cove. Back then there still was no real hard brush along it.

We tied a long rope to a Chevy & watered skied off to the side of the car. Going faster & faster.

Well, a guy older than I at the time was going to go for as fast as we could get him before he let go to keep from crashing into the other side.

As we were going through 70 MPH, those that ski know what the speed on 2 old water skies with itty bitty wood fins on the bottom get really squirrely, and he fell. As we had been going faster & faster we learned that the cannon ball or as small as you could get was the least harmful. 5-6 skips were being done.

Well, when Bill went down at 70+ he skipped once and then for some reason stuck his elbow out & it went straight in. It also stopped. Bill did not. One arm out of socket. About an hour to medical services back then if you were pushing. OK I, never let an arm or leg get loose and try to be on your arched back as much as you can arrange. You could get some impressive distance. I never go over 3 skips but was one of the best at distance.

Boats can go even faster now but what is the fun in that. A few years later, some one befriended a Piper Cub owner with a wild streak. Yes we did but we had learned to use an slalom with a big deep fin.

We didn’t need no stinkin life vests, ski belts or any of that unmanly stuff. Lost my swim suit more than once.

I haven’t thought of those antics in years.

I was too young to have any beer for the older guys to hold.

[Quartz]

@Leo_Bloom

How would this get done? Cannonball: construct centrifugal sling shot-twirler, guy’s in net basket or something, gets released at right moment/energy?

Try watching Dambusters.

[USCDiver]

The actual answer is just to sit on a hard plastic sled and go down a steep slide that builds up speed before turning horizontal.

[Kelevra]

@GusNSpot

During the flood of 1957, there is a built up raised road on the cut off that goes to Whitehorn Cove. Back then there still was no real hard brush along it.

We tied a long rope to a Chevy & watered skied off to the side of the car. Going faster & faster.

Well, a guy older than I at the time was going to go for as fast as we could get him before he let go to keep from crashing into the other side.

As we were going through 70 MPH, those that ski know what the speed on 2 old water skies with itty bitty wood fins on the bottom get really squirrely, and he fell. As we had been going faster & faster we learned that the cannon ball or as small as you could get was the least harmful. 5-6 skips were being done.

Well, when Bill went down at 70+ he skipped once and then for some reason stuck his elbow out & it went straight in. It also stopped. Bill did not. One arm out of socket. About an hour to medical services back then if you were pushing. OK I, never let an arm or leg get loose and try to be on your arched back as much as you can arrange. You could get some impressive distance. I never go over 3 skips but was one of the best at distance.

Boats can go even faster now but what is the fun in that. A few years later, some one befriended a Piper Cub owner with a wild streak. Yes we did but we had learned to use an slalom with a big deep fin.

We didn’t need no stinkin life vests, ski belts or any of that unmanly stuff. Lost my swim suit more than once.

I haven’t thought of those antics in years.

I was too young to have any beer for the older guys to hold.

How are you still alive??:eek:

[Tangent]

@USCDiver

The actual answer is just to sit on a hard plastic sled and go down a steep slide that builds up speed before turning horizontal.

At the Wet 'N Wild water park (now Hurricane Harbor) in Arlington, TX (and presumably at other locations) in the 80s, there was just such a water slide, called the Banzai Boggan.

There was also the Der Stuka water slide, which was very tall and very steep and there was no sled. The slide leveled out at the bottom and sent you skimming across the pool a little ways, giving you a hell of a wedgie. (or an enema! :eek:)

[Dangerosa]

@GreasyJack

Have you ever done the thing where you get pulled behind a speedboat on an innertube? When you’re actually on the tube, you’re pretty much skipping across the water but once the boat whips around a corner and you get thrown off you might get a skip or two before you’re a flailing around in the water trying to figure out which way’s up.

Ever given yourself a lake enema doing that? Its the fun part of skipping across water off a tube (or skis, I’ve done it on skis as well).

I used to work with a woman who managed to end up in the hospital from her lake enema on water skis - so it is possible to be torn apart. And not in pleasant ways.

[don_t_ask]

This is entirely anecdotal but my brother once told me that he went with workmates to a water park where the biggest slide had a speed camera that registered how fast you were going. One on the guys suggested that if you reduced friction, by arching your back and going down on the back of your head and your heels, you could achieve a much higher speed.

He tried it and it worked. However in his arched position he shot across the pool at the bottom, designed to catch people going at the normal speed, and smashed feet first into the concrete wall.

[cmyk]

@don_t_ask

This is entirely anecdotal but my brother once told me that he went with workmates to a water park where the biggest slide had a speed camera that registered how fast you were going. One on the guys suggested that if you reduced friction, by arching your back and going down on the back of your head and your heels, you could achieve a much higher speed.

He tried it and it worked. However in his arched position he shot across the pool at the bottom, designed to catch people going at the normal speed, and smashed feet first into the concrete wall.

This comes off hilarious, visualizing it in my head, where I’m playing Yakkity Sax and imagining him wearing a brightly colored fin on his head—for flare and bravado.

[CalMeacham]

Sounds as if it would have been a natural at Action Park! I’m surprised they didn’t try it:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=721200&highlight=loop
On second thought, having stuck various limbs into fast-moving water and felt the tug, maybe this isn’t so hot an idea. I see great potential for dislocations, fractures, and “waterburns”. Not to mention near-terminal dizziness.

[John_DiFool]

@don_t_ask

This is entirely anecdotal but my brother once told me that he went with workmates to a water park where the biggest slide had a speed camera that registered how fast you were going. One on the guys suggested that if you reduced friction, by arching your back and going down on the back of your head and your heels, you could achieve a much higher speed.

He tried it and it worked. However in his arched position he shot across the pool at the bottom, designed to catch people going at the normal speed, and smashed feet first into the concrete wall.

I did that at the water park at Cedar Point in Sandusky once-managed to arrest my skips before my groin would have impacted the pool ladder. Arms back, ride on your heels, butt, and scapulas.

[thatguyjeff]

@GreasyJack

Have you ever done the thing where you get pulled behind a speedboat on an innertube? When you’re actually on the tube, you’re pretty much skipping across the water but once the boat whips around a corner and you get thrown off you might get a skip or two before you’re a flailing around in the water trying to figure out which way’s up.

We did this all the time when I was a kid - intentionally - to see how far one could skip. Answer - it’s pretty far, farther than we ever thought. 100’+ with 6+ skips.

Long story short(ened). Family owns lake house property in Nothern MN. Practically my second home. We had a ski boat. Tubing, knee boarding, skiing, everything. When I got into my teens, we would take the boat out after lunch and return at dark (with the tank empty - bane of my dad). And - key safety point - we had wet suits (prevents that enema effect that was mentioned).

So - you have a ski boat entering a hard turn at around 25 mph. The rope is 75 feet long. There’s some physics and math - that I never bothered to figure out. The tube at the end of the rope is going a lot faster than the boat and whips around, and then you basically drop off the tube. We would target smooth waters for this sometimes, for better skipping. Sometimes we would just crank up the boat as fast as we could - some 40 mph, and just jump off the back to try to skip. Not as effective.

The tube was the best for this. Quite literally done it hundreds of times.

[GusNSpot]

@Kelevra

How are you still alive??:eek:

Young
All rawhide & rubber
Lucky
Had been in / on the water all our lives
Not enough sense to be afraid

I have many stories about big kites, homemade surf boards, saucers, tubing with an actual inner tube, home made skies, foot skies. Pyramids with 4-3-2-1. Took two boats to pull all for the start, then they would switch to the main boat. Took a lot of adjusting of ropes, 10 skiers & two good boat drivers & all summer to get it done. Learned how to not get your head pulled off when everybody went down, the need for a single bar for the bottom 4 big boys making the first row, a boat to collect all the dropped skies, was quite the production.

Why do it? Because the ski shows never did a 4 level and we had the right age, skill set of boys & girls and stepping stone aged siblings who were fearless water babies that could ski very well, parents that knew we were good in the water as they also helped rig everything up & made suggestions. Top person was 9 year old Phillip.

Bottom row were us 4 big guys, row 3 was 2 girls & 1 boy, row 2 was 2 girls and Phill went to the top.

I was lucky enough to have an amazing childhood. There were two family’s with 7 & 8 children , 15 bodies to use who were all water babies. The ages were just right for several summers in a row.

And that is just some of the stuff we pulled off.

Homemade ski jump ramp, first in Oklahoma, Kite big nuff to carry people, FIO also.

Much more. We lived at the lake from the day school let out to the day it started. Plus almost every weekend of the year.

I would not trade it for anything, then or now.