Here’s something I was a contributor to for a pagan humor site. I actually have done several of these. What should I try this year? I need new ideas from evil Doper brains.
[ul]
[li]Give away something other than candy. (Toothpicks, golf balls, bags of sand, etc.)[/li][li]Wait behind the door until some people come. When they get near the door, jump out wearing a costume and holding a bag, and yell, “Trick or Treat!” Look at them, scratch your head, and act confused.[/li][li]Fill a briefcase with marbles and crackers. Write on it, “Top Secret” in big letters. When trick-or-treaters come, look around suspiciously, say, “It’s about time you got here,” give them the briefcase, and quickly shut the door.[/li][li]Get about 30 people to wait in your living room. When trick-or-treaters come to the door, say, “Come in.” When they do, have everyone yell, “Surprise!” Act like it’s a surprise party.[/li][li]Get everyone who comes to the door to come in and see if they can figure out what’s wrong with your dishwasher. Insist that it makes an unnatural “whirring” sound.[/li][li]Open the door dressed as a giant fish. Immediately collapse, and don’t move or say anything until the trick-or-treaters go away.[/li][li]Insist that the trick-or-treaters each do ten push-ups before you give them any candy.[/li][li]Hand out menus to the trick-or-treaters and let them order their candy. Keep asking if anyone wants to see the wine list.[/li][li]Get a catapult. Sit on your porch and catapult pumpkins at anyone who comes within 50 yards of your house.[/li][li]Answer the door dressed as a pilgrim. Stare at the trick-or-treaters for a moment, pretend to be confused, and start flipping through a calendar.[/li][li]Instead of candy, give away colored eggs. If anyone protests, explain that the eggs are the only thing you had left over from Easter.[/li][li]Answer the door with a mouthful of M & M’s and several half-eaten candy bars in your hands. Act surprised, and close the door. Open it again in a few seconds, and insist that you don’t have any candy.[/li][li]Put a crown on a pumpkin and put the pumpkin on a throne on your porch. Insist that all of the trick-or-treaters bow before the pumpkin.[/li][/ul]
I had a guy on our street when I Trick or Treated, he would make eveyone tell a joke before they got any candy. If it was a joke he had already heard that night… “NEXT!”
This was of course before Seinfield, but I can see this guy screaming at children “NO candy for YOU! Next!”
I’ve already done the “dress as a pilgrim” one, and had the King Pumpkin. This year I’m planning on the fish costume… and I may have the King Pumpkin again. (I’ve also done the one where I eat all the candy myself, but that wasn’t really planned as much as it was PMS.)
Reactions? My neighbors think I’m a whack job, but they thought that before.
You wait for the trick, of course they don’t have one. lol
Best thing I do, each year I put a sign on the door it says ‘Go Next Door For Treats’ & arrow points to my neighbors place. lol
works too.
We used to surprise Trick Or Treaters a whole variety of ways at my house. Hide in bushes and jump out as they come up… Open the door and spray them with Silly String before they can even say anything (This was the best— EVERYBODY was shell shocked at first.) Little ghost guy that I hooked to a lever to surprise kids… (except he had to be reset all the time.) It’s fun… I REALLY dig on the King Pumpkin idea… I think this is coming up at the Screeme household (apartment ) next.
I sit out front in a mask and play my keyboard in a spooky organ-like way. My dad gives out the candy. He invites everyone over to look at the “monster.” If they’re really little kids, I’ll shake their hands. If they’re a bit older, say 10-12, they’ll come over, try to decide if I’m real or animatronic. They decide I’m animatronic, then I jump up and chase them down the block. He he.
I don’t know if it’s true, but I once read about a mother who left her elderly grandfather at home while she took her kids out trick or treating. The grandfather was a recent immigrant to America and didn’t have a complete grasp of how Halloween customs worked. His granddaughter figured he would just stay inside and not answer the door so she didn’t leave any candy for him to hand out. Instead the grandfather got into the spirit of things and spent the entire evening opening the door for trick or treaters. But when they held up their buckets for candy, he would reach in and remove a piece. By the time his granddaughter returned home, he had collected a full bowl of candy for the kids.
Hell, if you think that’s funny, you should actually try it! I did it to my cousins Ashley and Jake while in Kentucky for Halloween a couple years ago. Damn, I wish I’d had the camcorder on when they took a bite, but asking them not to eat until I got a camera would’ve tipped them off.
When I was a wee lad we used to all sorts of nasty things to the other kiddies.
One neighbor had a large number of trees in his front yard and a deeply set back house. Rather than going back out to the sidewalk the kids would cross the lawn to the next house, passing between two large trees. One year we strung some heavy gage fishing line between the trees with a pully so that we could get it to lie flat on the ground or become taut about 1’ off the ground. When a likely group was passing by (usually running) we would draw the line taut and trip the kids, causing them to drop their candy. Inevitibly a fair amount of goodies would be lost. Later one of us would retrieve the ill gotten booty. That year we ended up with more candy than in any previous year’s trick or treating.
Of course I have outgrown such things. But it was outragiously funny when I was 14.
One guy did that to my friends and I last year. He stood as still as he could near the door and we were trying to figure out if he was real or not. My friend walked up to him, grabbed his arm and said, “He feels so lifelike!” while the rest of us waited on the driveway. We deemed it safe, so we started walking to the door. The guy then jumped out at us, causing me to almost pee my pants.
Well, one of the guys in our neighborhood was a mortician, and he would always be in a coffin in front of the house and jump out at the kids.
And then there was the year that one of them who had never seen it before slammed the coffin down on his head and knocked him out for a few minutes… that was interesting.
It also works both ways. As a trick-or-treater in my youth, I used to like screwing with the people handing out candy.
I recall one year where I would regularly ask neighbors if, instead of candy, I could go in and rummage through their fridge, instead. You’d be surprised how many of them let me. There was much feasting that night!
I went trick-or-treating with my little cousin a few years ago. One house had a strobe light going on the front porch, and a guy dressed as a scarecrow sitting in a chair. I nearly peed myself when one second there was a scarecrow sitting in a chair 6 feet away from me, and the next second there was a scarecrow screaming in my face.
I carved a hammer and sycle into a pumpkin one year. That was pretty cool. Had kids asking if we were Russian and some parents with quite a sense of humor saying they were from the John Birch society. Along with the candy, I gave out pages from a used copy of the communist manifesto.
) next.
There was much feasting that night!