Congrats! Good friends of mine just adopted, and I happened to go over to meet the baby for the first time last night. Funny enough, even though they live here in Los Angeles, they also adopted a baby from Michigan, so who knows, it might have even been the same agency you are looking at.
One thing I learned last night that might be worth looking into to see if it applies in your situation. My friend’s job benefits actually covers some of the cost of the adoption. He is getting quite a bit of money he had spent on the adoption reimbursed. He didn’t even know about this until well into the process when someone mentioned he should look into it. Obviously, not every employer is going to offer something like this, but definitely something to look into if you haven’t already.
My 6 year old son is adopted and he is the light of my life. He was also a “domestic infant” adoption, in fact he was born just 40 miles from our house. My wife and I attended the birth and I got to cut the umbilical cord, which was an unbelievable symbolic and life-changing moment.
Here’s what I can tell you about the process, be prepared for more paperwork than you have ever dreamed possible. A good agency will be your best asset here because they will help you keep everything straight, but ask for a checklist of requirements and a timeline so that you can double-check.
Document EVERYTHING! Every trip to the agency, every incidental cost, every mile your drive for any required training. Many adoption costs are tax-deductible so you will want records. Also, for a couple of years the IRS was targeting adoptive parents for audits (we got hit 2 years after the birth of our son, my guess is because they know we are used to massive amounts of paperwork), hopefully they have stopped that but good records will help you anyway.
Filling out that paperwork on what you will accept is a heart-wrenching task, because every “no” limits your possibilities, you just have to think and discuss each one and figure out what you can handle.
Good luck, congratulations, and if you have more questions I’d be happy to help.
A deeply heartfelt congrats to you and the Sr. Ya’ll have gone through the wringer and it sure sounds from where I sit as though you both have the single most important thing going for you: You very much want to share your love with a child. ( Contrary to popular belief, a full collection of Justin Beiber recordings OR a set of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles DVD’s is NOT a pre-requisite. )
My kids are both South-Korean born adoptees. Every adoption story is different- just as every Bio family story is different.
I wish you only a lifetime of joy and delights and everything else that comes with the sudden insertion of a small human into your family.
I still get a kick out of telling people, " Me? I had my kids at the airport. Best way to go !! "
I am part time where I work, so I don’t think I have paid leave of any kind, but I have an appointment scheduled next Wednesday with HR to discuss what the process would look like for taking time off. They seem more than willing to be accommodating.
Sr. Weasel also wants to take time off, but he is a psychologist, so he doesn’t get vacation time or paid leave or anything like that. For that reason we are saving up funds to cover our expenses while he stays home.
Tomorrow is ‘‘Adoption Day’’ in the Weasel household… we bought a little introductory course to adoption to watch and discuss while we fill out the application.
Yep, that’s how it was. We adopted from Russia, which involves three separate trips over there, and yet, after all the paperwork and waiting, it was only 9 weeks between the first call about the Firebug, and when we brought him out of the baby house in Samara for good.
That was coming up on 8 years ago, and I still feel incredibly lucky.
So best of luck, and I hope you and Sr. Weasel find as much joy as we have found!
Same here for our daughter. We got The Call roughly 6 weeks earlier than we thought we would based on information we’d been given.
We referred to her as our “preemie adoption”.
Amusing, at least now, footnote. Our car was stolen about a week before our daughter arrived, and about 24 hours before we got The Call. Of course, we had to go out and get a car seat for our son. Aaaaaaand… a day later, we shopped for a second car seat for our soon to arrive daughter.
I did an adoption earlier this month where the adopting parents got The Call while the wife was running a marathon…in Paris! The husband didn’t tell her until the race was over…then they had to scramble to get packed and jump on a plane.
We just filled out our three-year post-adoption paperwork last week. Hard to believe that we were in China three years ago, meeting the youngest Torqueling for the first time, completing the adoption on the same day. It took almost seven years to get from our log-in date to matching, and now we’re three whole years past that.
The three-year followup is just a China thing, you guys won’t have to do it, so don’t worry about it. Just focus on making your family better with a new person in it. And congratulations!
We cleaned the house this weekend. The home study lady seems nice, she is an adoptive parent herself and told us not to freak about the home study. We’re also getting fingerprinted Tuesday. There is so much paperwork to gather.
This is for really reals a thing that is happening. I’ve been talking to some other adoptive parents and trying to educate myself and have realistic expectations going in, but it’s scary. The potential for pain and loss is profound. It’s definitely the right decision for us but I’m struggling to feel really pumped because I know there is such an emotional roller coaster ahead. My current attitude is best described as sober and anxious. I’m not religious, but you prayin’ types… By all means.
As raventhief says, you got this. You’ll do fine at the home visit. I’m not an expert, but I think you’re already offering the most important things: a stable and loving home. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
That’s wonderful news! All the most positive thoughts your way and for your husband as well.
This kind of terrifying excitement, where your dream begins to drift toward your fingertips, is so rare in our adult years and I’m unreservedly glad for your family-to-be.
