How come? well, look what happened: Me. Did I have a choice in the matter? No. It wasn’t as though I was waiting anywhere in particular. There was no ‘not-me’ to make such a decision. And if there was, then ‘not-me’ becomes a non-sequiter, or at least a non-logical progression. A ‘not me’ implies a state of being. I posit once more, there is no-one ‘not existing’ at this point in time, which does seem to be a popular notion in my experience.
It isn’t the case that I have an overarching willingness, or non-willingness to cease, only that this refuge I call home won’t last. Just as those in the past are ‘dead’ to me, and ‘no longer exist’, so the future is ‘dead’ to me and ‘does not exist’. I suppose this is more an issue of space, and not one of time. Is it such an absurd notion to suggest that it is not a future that hasn’t occurred, only that it isn’t here? Even so, this notion might not help to see, what is potentially a point without debate. I fear this will be the case, as the past has proved, time and again.
consider someone you know that has recently had a baby. Consider a year before when that person was not pregnant, nor planning to be. Where is that baby? Is it dead? Is it in a similar condition to those who have already lived. Is it a prerequisite to have ‘not become’ in order to be?
So far, it seems a hundred percent probability to be, than not to be, since not being depends on being, but not the other way around. This, in my view, is where most get stuck: projecting the self as a non-entity, which is, in fact, a projected anti-entity. Being depends upon becoming, which is a matter of transformation. Imagine a condition of immortality. A favorite analogy of mine when describing immortality is that of a crisp bag in a bush: it never goes away. While everything around the bag dies, the bag is still, and it is there, and no-where else.
In sum, it is immortality that scares me more. How horrific to be here forever. When all the stars have faded and moved on, and the earth looks as the moon does, I cannot.
