I just use the proper term.
This is Anaamika, my lover.
Of course, now if only Anamika was my lover I would be all set.
I think that’s what I said.
I use that, too! “So and so is my sister’s person.”
People laugh, but they know exactly what I mean.
I think of SO as “so.” “This is my so.” “She’s his so.”
[QUOTE=Kalhoun]
:smack: looks up Wow, that went way over my head! Pretty colors!
…er, so sorry.
*This * made me whip my head around.
I like “my person”.
That would so not work over on this side of the pond.
Well yeah, but … I wanted to post again.
I knew a couple in college who referred to each as…
Imzadi
May the gods have mercy…
I can’t believe I didn’t think of that, being a Trek Doper and all.
Mama Zappa and I have called each other “life partners” a time or two - mostly for the shock value. (In the USA that phrase is used almost exclusively for same-sex relationships.) We are legally married in the USA, but as Larry King, Brittany Spears, and plenty others have shown, that is not always a life long commitment. 
Getting back to the OP … I like the word “cohabitant”, or “cohab” for short. If you want to get fancy and French-like, the female would be a “cohabitante”. Terms like “room-mate” “house-mate” “apartment-mate” would be for people who are sharing a roof, but not romantically involved.
Whatever term you like for the situation, the hard part is getting people to accept it and use it. Pick a term and go with it - if it catches on you’ll be doing us all a favor.
You have say ‘my lover’ like Pepe LePew.
Whatever new words we come up with, we have to apply them to gay couples instantly, because I absolutely hate the way the term “partner” applies ONLY to us. Oh, this is my partner. That’s the word we used when we were little and you had to “use the buddy system” – if not “buddy,” then we would go with “partner.”
Of course, we could just let gay couples marry each other, but even then they sometimes use “spouses” instead of “husbands” (or “wives” of course) which just sounds ridiculous to me. That’s a whole 'nother thread anyway.
My point is, we should use the same terminology for all couples, as much as possible.
In Best in Show, which I trust you have all seen, John Michael Higgins’s character refers to his gay lover Michael McKean as “my euphamism, Stefan”.
I like it.
I’ve probably told this story before, but lack of a word was why Brainiac4 and I got married.
We were having dinner - frozen pizza. He looks over the table and says “We should get married.” (isn’t he romantic? My first husband took me out to dinner and suprised me with a ring in a fortune cookie - this one makes a statement over frozen pizza.)
My answer, “why?” (see, we are well suited for each other in the romance area. The first marriage didn’t work well anyway, and I’d rather have a working marriage than romance)
“Because I’m tired of calling you ‘the shameless hussy I shack up with’ - its far too long.”
Wife is like an 89% reduction in syllables, its really much more efficienct.
Well, her indoors and I are fairly comfortable at this stage, so we can get a bit jokey, refering to each other as such things as :
“My Hardship”
“The Battleaxe”
“The War council”
“My little viper bite”
“My sorrow”
“The Killing Fields”
in fact, pretty much any derogatory remark, as long as its said in a humourous tone.
“Of course I wont be late, my reason for crying. I’ll get milk, too”
“John! I’d like you to meet the Dragons Fury”
The only time she ever gets pissed pissed is when I refer to her as
“My current girlfriend”
My buddies in college liked the word umfriend for “just starting to date, committed maybe, but not quite sure what you are yet and I need to introduce you to someone.” As in, “Hi, mom. This is Pussy Galore, my, um, friend.”
I used girlfriend for my current relationship up until she very recently became my fiancee, even though she’s three years older than me and I sure ain’t a boy anymore. I personally like the word consort, but I think I’d need to be in Ren Faire garb to pull it off without feeling like an ass. I also like the directness of “my woman” or “my man,” though they do have tones of possessiveness. I tried using partner in a phone conversation once, back in university, and since I’m (basically) straight, it didn’t go well. Too much explaining to do to the homophobic family units. One of the positive things I learned in bible study when I was a kid is that there were different words in ancient Greek for love: agape, philios, eros, praxis. I remember often thinking that the sexual and non-sexual love distinctions between some of those words would be particularly useful in English.
Since there are people like us who are thinking about this need, if the social conditions that make us think we need new words last long enough, sooner or later someone will come up with a term or useage to fill the gaps that’ll stick. I still remember when partner didn’t have quite the level of firmness of meaning “homosexual committed relationship.” It may be that in 100 years, it has only that meaning and the original is mostly unused. I personally like the connotation in that word of of doing things together and supporting each other.
This topic reminds me of a conversation I had with a couple of friends in high school. We thought it would be great if people had some kind of hairstyle or jewelry or something visible to indicate whether or not they were “attached.” There’s nothing in most European and European-derived cultures below a marriage ring to show relationship status. Promise rings and wearing his clothes are some indicators of a serious relationship, but some people find that too possessive or old fashioned, and it still doesn’t help with the less committed.
I know that some cultures still have indications in dress or adornment that a female is old enough to be considered a woman and can receive suitors. Coming of age ceremonies like bar and bat mitzvah, quinceaneras, and the sei-jin shiki in Japan serve pretty much the same function; to tell people in that community that the kid is now an adult.
It’s less of an issue now, but it would have been a godsend as a teen. If you want to get anywhere as a guy, you have to take the initiative and approach women. It would be nice if you knew in advance that she wasn’t dating anyone so that you didn’t have to have to deal with the embarrassment and awkwardness that results when you find out the girl you’re trying hit on is dating someone already. It also keeps you from facing the wrath of a large and particularly violent waste of sperm who got upset at you talking to his girlfriend after class. Thankfully, posturing was enough for him to save face; I didn’t get into a fight over that, though it did provide some chuckles when I later saw video footage of a chimpanzee performing a territorial display.
Oh, we do, but: If you introduced someone as your “partner” in the US, most people would
- figure you were gay, but if they then came to realize the partner wasn’t of the same sex
- figure you were in business together, and then if they realized you weren’t
- finally realize you meant the person you’re shacked up with.
I don’t think we need new terms. If you’re that concerned about what people are going to think about the status of your relationship, get married. And I don’t think 90% of people in long term relationships of this nature really are that concerned, or they’d of married already to fit into the busybodies’ socital expectations anyway.
My liberal congregation prefers to use “partner” for a live-in romantic partner or a married spouse as a respectful term encompassing gays, straights, singles-but-committed, marrieds.
Lately I’m hearing the term “my sweetheart” used to mean boyfriend or girlfriend of all ages, and I kind of like it. Also “companion” is sometimes used for live-ins of all ages.
Nevermind “bitch” and “alpha” :eek:
I’m fifty and no way do I want to have a “beau” or be someone’s “lady-friend”. It would sound like I’m 80 - no, 90. I’d rather have a “hottie” or a “studmuffin”, thank you very much.
I have a friend who is 64 and refuses to use the term “wife” to describe his, well, wife, because he finds it disrespectful. He says “the woman who shares my life” every single time, and even abbreviates it in emails.