We now have temporary custody or our nephew.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

In this thread I wrote about how we decided to go for custody or our nephew, Eric, whose mother is a homeless, jobless, messed up drug addict.

We found out from our lawyer this past week that we have been granted temporary custody of Eric until we have a formal hearing in November. This hearing will give us “limited” guardianship of him. This means that the court is expecting the mother to basically clean herself up and fulfill certain conditions to get custody of Eric back.

We have signed him up for school and moved his stuff into our house and he is now living with us. Mrs. D has worked out a schedule where Eric will spend every other weekend at his grandmother’s house so he can spend time with his older brother and his mom.

Of course K (the messed up mom) wasn’t really happy with all this. The paperwork she received giving us temporary legal guardianship until the hearing stated she had the right to oppose the appointment of guardianship to us at the hearing and she was making noises that she might do just that. She seems to be operating under the delusion that she can just go get a job and get a place to live and she will get Eric back, and that is simply not the case. As I said in my other post, she needs to be drug free, go to a drug recovery program, find a job, get some sort of housing, and show us she is stable.

She found a job working at a local convenience store, but we honestly don’t know how long that will last since she has no car and the grandparents won’t drive her in and back from work every day. We are still trying to be careful in what we say and do around her as we don’t want to give K any reason to cause us any grief between now and the court hearing, but it is tough. Mrs D knows how to handle her and has been great with making sure K doesn’t cause us too much strife.

As far as how life at the Dragwyr household has been, it hasn’t been bad with Eric around, but we will see how it goes. We know he will need some adjustment time. There may be problems, but what will happen during that time remains to be seen. Rest assured we will be sending him to counseling after November. We know he needs that. Living all that time with a crazy woman can’t be good for anyone, especially a young kid who still doesn’t know what is considered normal behavior.

I just wanted to update everyone. I will keep you all informed as things progress.

2

Thanks for the update. Eric is very blessed to have you two as family.

Since you are ready for the not so great times with counseling, I wish all of you many great times filled with joy raising this young man.

I hope K does get her life together, and credits you two as part of her wake up call.

3

You’re good people. I’ve no doubt that it will be tough to make the transition from uncle and aunt to parent for both sides, especially with hormones kicking in in a couple of years, but equally I’ve no doubt that in 15 years you’ll all look back and see it for the best thing you’ve done for him.

4

Kudos , Dragwyr. One of my ex sis-in-laws had to get custody of her grandkids; she said it was a difficult decision but one which was best for the girls. Their mom, too, was an addict. I applaud you for stepping up to the plate.

5

I think you guys are doing a GREAT thing - but please don’t get too attached too soon. Any number of things can happen, and although it is easy for me to say this, try to keep referring to this as a “temporary” situation, for your nephew and for both of you.
It won’t be easy to part if things do not go as you might think they will.

By subtly preparing for the worst case scenario, you will make any future transition easier.

6

You are absolutely right, DMark. We are treating this as temporary, but to be perfectly honest, we don’t think that K will be able to truly get better, so in that sense, we are also preparing to take care of him to adulthood. We are prepared for all contingencies. Either way, he is getting what is best for him right now.