I’ve always been told (by my mom, who knows these things) that you should at least cover your dinner. My brother recenly went to a large Italian wedding and gave $25, based on what he knew of the reception venue and approx. cost of his dinner.
I’ve never heard of considering the booze and entertainment.
All in all, it’s a gift. no one is expecting you to pay any certain amount. It’s gracious of you to give anything. Quite gracious to pay for your dinner. And extremely gracious to give any more.
Use your judgement, your closeness to the couple and the size of your wallet. How much do you WANT to give?
In addition- What’s up with this “Money Dance” thing at weddings?
It’s where at the reception the bride and groom will dance with you for $10-$20.
Our wedding DJ asked us if we wanted to do it and we said absolutely not!! It seemed way too tacky.
But at the last wedding I was at they did it and I found it to be uncomfortable. Like they were asking for handouts in addition to the gifts they already got.
The wedding dance, like envelopes full of cash, is a regional and ethnic tradition. It’s primarily found at the weddings of those who are of Mediterranean or Slavic descent, or from parts of the country where there are or were large Mediterranean or Slavic populations. People for whom it’s a tradition figure their dance donation into the cost of their gift, just like people for whom cash gifts are traditional take that as a matter of course.
For the record, I’ve never heard of a dollar dance that required $10-20. The standard amount is, as the name implies, a dollar, although a lot of people give more than that. A lot of modern brides, wanting to keep a family tradition but afraid of looking money-grubbing, have gone to using play money, or candy kisses, or little notes of advice instead of cash.
I always thought it was odd that on the wedding boards, the loudest, most venomous detractors of the dollar dance as a shameless grab for cash were usually the people who’d had a “stag/stagette” or a “jack n jill”. These are parties where they do indeed sell tickets and have games and raffles and stuff, and all the proceeds go to the bride and groom. One woman who was screaming about someone getting $200 from her dollar dance revealed in another thread that she’d raked in over $10,000 from her stag/staggette. There aren’t enough rolleye smilies in the world, really.