Wedding mishaps...that made you laugh

In My Humble Opinion
21

My cousin was married in a beautiful, perfect ceremony. Every detail was impeccable. They had spent an enormous amount of time planning and making sure everything would be just right. They had agonized over the table assignments, making sure everyone would be seated with companions they would enjoy. And everything went off without a hitch, until…

After the ceremony and cocktail hour, everyone was seated. It was time for toasts! The bride and groom were announced, entered with great fanfare, went to sit down–and discovered that they had forgotten to assign seats for themselves! They had nowhere to sit!

A minor mishap, to be sure, and the situation was quickly rectified, but it made for a great laugh–as the cool elegant perfect bride stood there laughing her butt off at the mistake.

22

I laughed when I heard about the wedding day disaster that happened to a woman I dislike. She is appearance-obsessed.

Some idiot at the reception hall turned up the heat (October wedding) while everyone was still at the church. By the time the reception started, the wedding cake was in a ruined heap on the floor. The bride had insisted on buttercream frosting, and it had melted.

It’s still funny to me. I know she is the kind of woman who will be bothered by this forever.

23

The previous posts about cake and socks crack me up 'cause:

At my brothers wedding: He was marrying some trailer-trash, turquoise eyeshadow, 80’s hairspray chick. The wedding was in July, outdoors, but all the bridesmaids wore dark burgundy full length dresses…and not a single one of the groomsmen (nor the groom, for that matter) had on socks with their rented shoes. There was avery large dog running loose that periodically disrupted the ceremony. The bride and her family thought this whole event was the epitome of formal, btw.

The cake thing still makes me laugh, even 15 years later: My best friend was getting married, and it was during the rainy season in Florida. She had commissioned a beautiful cake, containing over a dozen eggs. When we arrived at the rehearsal dinner (same restaurant that the reception was to be held at the next day), I noticed the baker’s car still in the parking lot. I sneaked back into the kitchen to investigate. Cake had been set on the floor of the cooler, and combined with the moisture outside it was just too much. Three tiered cake had collapsed into an messy (although delicious) heap.

You haven’t lived until you have tried to get a replacement cake make overnight while trying to hide it from the nervous bride…all the while keeping her big-mouthed sister from tattling. Oh yeah…almost forgot to mention…

I had two dates that didn’t know about each other and was maid of honor at that wedding…but that’s another long, long story :wink:

24

I have a video of my best friend’s wedding. I was a groomsman. At one point in the wedding, the groom is visibly rocking back and forth on his feet, and all four groomsmen can be seen bracing themselves and stepping forward to catch him, should he totter a bit too far back… (he didn’t, but that particular scene in the video is priceless).
:slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:
An old friend of my wife’s got married not long after my wife and I did. The word “bridezilla” was not then in common use, but it’s a fine descriptor. The bride – call her Jane – had metamorphosed badly, in the course of obsessing about her wedding, down to the point of calculating how much her sister’s wedding had cost, allowing for inflation, and insisting that her parents match the sum in paying for Jane’s wedding.

I’m not kidding. Jane had the Perfect Wedding visualized, and ghod help anyone who got in her way.

Jane had prevailed on another friend of hers with two small children – a little boy, about seven, and a little girl, about four. The little girl would precede the wedding party down the aisle, flinging flower petals about with abandon, and the little boy would serve as Ringbearer.

Things began to come apart during the rehearsal the evening before the wedding. The little girl toddled innocently into the church, clutching her basket. At this point, since the doors were opening, the organist hit it HARD with the wedding march, LEANING on the loud pedal, DUM-DUM-DA-DUM, here COMES the BRIIIIDE…

…and the blast of sound startled the poor child silly. She promptly flung her basket aside, and ran screaming into the church, frantically trying to pick Mommy out of the crowd of strangers…

Mommy stepped out, scooped up her screaming baby, and set to soothing the little one, settling her down. At this point, Jane stepped up to her to begin berating her for her child’s behavior.

Things got a little hectic after that. Harsh words were exchanged, and the rest of the rehearsal was cut short.

But the next day, at the actual wedding, the little girl was again at the entrance, and this time, she waddled down the aisle, flinging flower petals, until she reached the front pews, whereupon she ran up to Mommy, and the wedding began.

Big Brother had been right behind Little Sister, and he proudly marched up onto the dais, bearing his big velvet pillow with the tiny gold ring upon it!

Everyone marched and pranced perfectly. The choreography held. Finally, everyone was in place, and the minister took the ring off the pillow, and held it in his hand as he began the ceremony.

…and this is where cutting the rehearsal short cost Jane a great deal. Did I mention this was being filmed by three separate professional videographers, as well as a gaggle of amateur relatives? From multiple angles? Oh, yes, it was all on tape, every second of it.

And there were plenty of seconds. The bride, groom and minister had written a special ceremony, in which both Jane and her beloved would recite poems they’d written for and about each other, as well as a sermon and candle-lighting and flower arranging, and perhaps a bit of carpentry and a short fishing trip, for all I know; I dozed off somewhere after the first half hour.

I was sitting in the mezzanine, of course; I wasn’t in the wedding. My wife was, and griped at considerable length about how she had to wear these durn feet-torturing shoes because Jane insisted on it, and how Jane apparently expected the bridesmaids to help pay for their bridesmaids’ dresses, and how the bridesmaids’ gifts turned out to be the shoes and glass buttons on the bridesmaids’ dresses…

…and I woke up, because someone in my row was quietly snickering under his breath. I glanced around, wondering what was funny.

It was on the dais. In the middle of the ceremony.

Y’see… the Ringbearer – remember him, seven year old boy? – had only one thing to do during the ceremony. His job was to march up preceding the bride and groom, and hand over the ring. After this, he was expected to move off to one side of the minister, and towards the rear, face the audience, and stand there until the ceremony was over.

Until the ceremony ended.

The ceremony ran some eighty minutes. I timed it.

Now, I teach for a living, and have raised children of my own. I dare anyone out there to force a seven year old boy to stand perfectly still for eighty minutes. For any reason. I’m quite good with kids, and I’m sure I couldn’t do it with a thousand dollars, the entire contents of a Toys-R-Us, and a loaded .38.

Jane had no children, and had plainly not thought of this. Neither had anyone else, apparently.

The boy was still standing back off to one side and behind the minister. The bride and groom couldn’t see him, because one of the flower arrangements blocked their line of sight. The groomsmen could see him, as could the entire right-hand-side of the church.

He began by sighing and tapping his foot.

He quit holding the pillow upright, letting his arm drop. He held onto the pillow by one of the tassels on the corners.

A while later, he began twirling the pillow by the tassel.

Not long after that, he tossed the pillow into the air, and caught it. Mildly amused by this, he did it again. By this time, the boy is lost in his own thoughts, and has completely forgotten that he is in plain view of several hundred people.

A couple of the groomsmen made hand gestures at the kid, trying to get him to hold still. Jane could see the groomsmen. A dirty look is shot off. The groomsmen shrug and reassume their previous decorative positions.

Meanwhile, the boy is now experimenting with flinging the pillow into the air, seeing how many times he can spin it by the tassel to achieve a given altitude. He flings it into the air… and catches it. He spins it a few more times, launches it high… and catches it. He spins it a few MORE times, flings it hiiiiiiigh…

…and catches it, narrowly missing the large flower arrangement that’s keeping the bride and groom from seeing him. Oblivious, he flings it hiiiiiiigh again…

The groomsmen were fighting to keep straight faces. The bridesmaids could see this, and were visibly puzzling as to what the situation is. Jane could see the groomsmen and snapped off dirty looks like thrown daggers. Occasional chuckles can be heard from the audience. Jane assumes the groomsmen are to blame. Meanwhile, the boy has drifted from sight behind the giant floral arrangement, but the pillow still erupts skyward from the flowers, about every eight to ten seconds. It falls, vanishes from sight, and erupts upward again, spinning…

This went on for quite some time. Eventually, the ceremony ended, luckily before the participants were too old to breed.

Several friendships were destroyed in the course of that wedding; Jane and my wife haven’t spoken since.

I can only wonder what Jane thought when she saw the video. In particular, I wonder if she and those kids’ mom are still friends?

25

That’s really weird…I make cakes, and I’ve never heard of that happening before. I made my own wedding cake actually, four tiers, buttercream icing, it was made in a kitchen in one town, driven 30 miles to another town where it spent the night in my mom’s hotel room, then carried out to a van where I held the bottom two tiers in my lap, and my sister held the top two tiers in hers, and at one point my other sister slammed on her brakes and it nearly went flying into the dashboard, but I caught it in time, and then we carried it into the reception hall during a violent storm with rain pelting us, high winds almost blowing away the umbrella my sister was trying to protect the cake with, then it sat in the reception hall, which was pretty humid, for six hours, and it was still absolutely perfect. Didn’t the cake have any support structure? I’m assuming the tiers were stacked right on top of each other, right? Not with pillars? Didn’t the baker use cardboard rounds between the tiers and wooden dowels to give it some strength? I’m not doubting you, but I’m just really curious as to how that could happen!

26

Now-DH absolutely hates the taste and feel of lipstick, so I had developed the habit of reaching up with my thumb to wipe it off his lip after a kiss. I don’t remember doing it, but apparently did it during the wedding. I remember the outbreak of laughter, but don’t remember the gesture itself.

The photographer missed the Communion part during the ceremony, so we attempted to re-create it after. At that point, I was in ‘see-camera/break-into-huge smile’ mode, and the photog kept admonishing me to ‘look serious.’ Not being a great actress, the pics of me attempting to ‘look serious’ result in me looking downright pissed off.

We walked into our reception to be confronted by a grotesque fountain spewing punch. It had never occurred to me that one had to especially request a punch bowl, and since the caterers didn’t have anythng written down about it, they erred on the side of the current trend, which apparently was a grotesque fountain spewing punch.

27

When my then-boyfriend and I had been dating about 6 months, there was a huge wedding for his brother and his fiancee. It was a Big Deal. Brother has no shortage of cash, and a huge Italian family. They rented out these huge summer homes for all of the guests to stay in - one house for the bridal party, several other houses for guests. I was staying, with boyfriend and their parents, in the largest, ritziest house, where the reception was held.

I think I had met the bride and groom once or twice. I certainly didn’t know them well. I was NOT a member of the bridal party.

Did I mention that this was the first time I was meeting any of my boyfriend’s family? Including the parents and all these aunts and uncles and cousins and and and…I was pretty damn nervous, let me tell you.

Wedding goes off beautifully (well, I heard later that they did forget the license, so someone had to go back for it, but they covered well.) Reception is wonderful. Great catering, good dancing, I’m actually getting along well with the family. Things are good.

Then the bouquet comes out. Things have been explained to me that this is all a charade, and Maid of Honor WILL be catching the bouquet. I’m herded, along with all the other single girls, to the bottom of the grand staircase. Bride stands above. I hide waaaay off to one side, so as to not risk actually catching the bouquet.

Except, the bride threw wide. The Maid of Honor comes barrelling through a sea of tafetta like a linebacker on 'roid rage, heading straight for me. Somehow, she hits my hand, throwing it upwards, then, as the bouquet lands in my hand, she grabs for it, except that her hand is still around mine. So she squeezes my hand on the bouquet, as I’m trying to wriggle out and pretend that she caught it.

Doesn’t work. She starts crying, and runs from the room, twisting her ankle on the way out. :smack:
Oh, and I married the guy about 10 months later. Our wedding was beautiful and perfect, 'though we did get the giggles at one point. We were in the middle of a wooded clearing, with 60 of our friends, in a crunchy granola pagan ceremony. All very tranquil, very earthy, very zen.

Until the unmistakable sounds of Santana’s Smooth come booming through the trees. The pavilion about 100 yards from our woodsy goodness was doing a sound check.

Really, it’s a pretty good wedding song, if you think about it!

28

First, I have to say, I am NEVER late. I hate to be late, to anywhere.
I was 35 minutes late to my wedding. We were married at the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas. My daughter-in-law was doing my hair, and we last track of the time. My son came up to get us. he kept telling me to run (through the casino, in heels :dubious: )
She kept telling me to slow down so I wouldn’t sweat.
When we got to the chapel, Hubby was doing a stand-up routine for the guests.

29

When Ivylad’s younger sister got married, they did it in costume. She and her fiance’ both did English Civil War re-enactments, so the wedding was a whole Henry the VIII-garb thing, with my FIL looking magnficent in purple and me wearing some St. Pauli’s girl outfit (but without the big enough boobs for the impressive cleavage, alas.)

Ivygirl was supposed to be a flower girl, but while everyone was getting dressed she tripped over a helmet and cut her upper lip. A friend of the family, who was a nurse, held her during the ceremony, then Ivylad rushed her to the hospital, where he missed the entire reception waiting for them to decide all they had to do was slap a butterfly bandage on the cut. I have to wonder what the other folks waiting in the waiting room thought, when this man wearing pantaloons and hose came to the ER carrying a little girl in a pinafore.

30

My husband’s cousin got married in a church with a wall of windows behind the altar. The entire audience was able to watch a dog take a dump behind the bride.

31

Weddings here tend not to get too wild on “creative” ideas. Generally, one company provides everything: venue, clothes, makeup, hair stylist, food, decorations, photographers, entertainment, guest transportation, minister (me), honeymoon travel arrangement, gifts, everything. Heck I wouldn’t be surprised if they also did matchmaking and divorce counseling. Anyway, the weddings tend to have very “one from column A, one from column B” programs and the staff all know each other and know exactly what to do, so surprises get kept to a minimum. Still…

One chapel had a raised altar with five or six steps. At the end of the ceremony, the groom was supposed to walk down a few steps by himself, then turn and take the bride’s hand to escort her down the steps. This time, however, the groom got nervous, started walking down the steps, reached the bottom and kept going right on down the aisle with bride still standing there fuming. The guests started pointing and gesturing for him to turn around, but he was so pumped on adrenaline that he just grinned and nodded and kept right on walking. It wasn’t until one of the hall staff grabbed him and spun him around that he realized he’d forgotten something.

At another, we’d mentioned to the couple during rehersal that during the kiss, the groom should lean his head to the right so everyone can get a clear photo of the couple. During the ceremony, the groom forgot and began going in for the kiss from the left. The bride panicked and immediately jerked her head back and tried to point him in the right direction. Unfortunately, he was moving in too fast so she ended up jabbing her finger right into his face. For the guests, it looked like she saw him trying to kiss her and popped him one. It took a few minutes to get everything under control.