Wedding: reschedule for family, or stick with the plan?

My boyfriend and I got engaged recently, and we’re VERY excited about it.

We’ve planned a wedding for August. We want only a couple of witnesses, and we’ve reserved a cabin right on the shore of Lake Superior. All very lovely, and exactly what we both want. I should add that reservations for cabins fill up VERY quickly for summer, and we lucked into this reservation at the exact cabin we wanted at the exact time we wanted (full moon) due to a cancellation. We also plan to host a relaxed party in lieu of a reception a week or two later.

Onto the dilemma: my mom and sister can’t come. They will be in Yellowstone at the time for a trip that’s been locked into place since before the wedding plans came along. I had the dates wrong for their plans, and booked the cabin smack dab in the middle of their travel.

Both Mom and my sister very much want to be there for the ceremony, and don’t view being there for the reception as important. My fiance and I want to keep the ceremony tiny – it’s a second marriage for both of us, and the important thing to us is simply that we will be married. His oldest brother and sister-in-law will be witnesses on his side, and a dear friend of mine will be the witness on my side. All that is perfectly fine with me.

Mom and my sister are pushing for us to reschedule; if we do, it will mean having the wedding in less predictable weather at a different location and involving much more of a headache than we want. If we don’t reschedule, I will have hurt their feelings and will myself feel that I’ve left them out of an important event.

Your opinions? What would you do? I am feeling very torn, and so is my honey.

I would reschedule, especially if your mom really wants to be there.

I would reschedule; it’s your mom and your sister. They’re going to be around for a while.

Then, book into the same cabin deal for the perfect time next year and have an anniversary party or something.

If you didn’t want your mom and sister to come in the first place, I’d say stick to your guns. You’d be opening up a big can of worms if guests you didn’t want guilted you into rescheduling so you could invite them.

But it sounds like you intended for your mom and sister to be there, and would have expected to see them if you hadn’t made a mistake in your planning.

In that case, the question boils down to which is more important to you – your wedding’s location, or having your mom and sister there. A lot of people would say it’s an obvious choice, but it’s not their wedding.

How about having two occasions?

Given that the reason that the family have an unbreakable conflict is because you had the dates wrong–I vote for reschedule the wedding. Especially since being there for the ceremony is really important to them. And if all that matters is being married at the end of the day, why not have that day be when your mom and sister can come?

I am sympathetic but not sold on the “but changing the date will be a major headache, etc.” argument, given the mistake about the travel dates.

I would reschedule for Mom and sis. If the weren’t close relatives, I might keep your current plans, but this is immediate family.

OK. I’ll work on getting it moved – most of my reluctance is knowing that the “new” plan will be significantly different than the existing plan, but I’m sure I’ll get over that quickly as new plans develop.


I guess if you think about how you want to feel when you look back on this wedding day, it might help you with your decision.

Believe it or not, it will all work out. Do what feels right and things like location and weather etc become very minor in the grand scheme of things.