I sang at a wedding this afternoon where it was just the bride and groom up on the altar. No best man or groomsmen. No bridesmaids. I haven’t seen this before. Is this some new trend that I’ve missed?
No, I’ve been to several weddings where there were no official attendants. I think it’s more common among people who get married at a somewhat older-than-average age, and/or people who have weddings that are generally more low-key.
That’s true in my case. We had only the official witnesses, and my children, present for our ceremony (my second marriage).
I’ve officiated a couple of ceremonies with only the people being married present (Illinois doesn’t require witnesses), and I have to say, I’m not a fan. But that’s because my feeling is that a wedding, the actual ceremony, is only barely about the people being married (who often don’t remember it afterwards). It’s mostly for their community, for their loved ones to have recognizable symbols and ritual which flips a switch in their noggins and they can move their loved one from one category in their subconscious to another. From “college kid” to “married adult” or “my cousin who’s kinda hot” to “married woman - off limits” or “chick my dad’s dating” to “Stepmom”.
I’m not sure I could prove causation, but among people I know well who have eloped or married without their families present (and this includes me), there’s a much longer period of adjustment before everyone really truly accepts them as a permanent married couple. There were years where my in-laws intellectually knew we were married, but we weren’t really family, because they didn’t get their cultural and emotional needs met by a traditional wedding. Their subconscious buttons weren’t pressed, so they needed several years of observing me with their son to press those “married now” buttons firm and fast.
**Whynot ** you seem to be conflating weddings without families with what the OP is talking about.
Mrs P & I had no attendants. All our family were there. We aren’t very traditional. We didn’t want to inconvenience particular friends with fuss about them having to buy bridesmaid’s dresses and formal suits. We didn’t see any particular reason to single out any particular of our friends as being our truly roolly bestest friends.
(my bolding)
That is a very odd notion to me. I wouldn’t expect anyone on the planet to be more interested in our marriage than my hubby and I. I certainly didn’t marry him because of what the community needs.
To the OP: I think it’s a refreshing contrast to the Mega Wedding with a brazillion attendants. The whole thing can get overdone in a hurry.
My husband and I eloped, so we didn’t have attendants or family, or even witnesses. In Florida, you can be married by a notary, so we went to an accounting firm and the owner officiated. Then she got a couple of her clerks to sign our certificate. I think one of them was named Elizabeth -something- … I didn’t miss all the pagentry and stuff.
On the other hand, despite telling her for years to elope, my daughter had the full wedding-with-attendants-thing two weeks ago, and I’m so glad she did. It was lovely.
We didn’t have attendants, but we did have a good friend get ordained and perform the ceremony for us.
(S)he is not talking about weddings without people attending, (s)he’s talking about weddings without attendants.
I had a wedding with no wedding party 9 years ago. It was at an inn. We had 45 guests (plus the inn dog), played frisbee and wiffle ball, and had a great casual time. I can’t speak to it being a trend, but it worked well for us. I hate all the wedding fluff.
Yep, you’re right, I did. Nevermind.
(I’ve never officiated a wedding with no attendants but with attendees. It does sound very odd to me.)
Second wedding for both of us. Our first weddings were huge and expensive…we both felt like been there done that.
We got married at a very nice Bed and Breakfast with just me, her and the owner of the establishment. We had a great time, stress free and we were able to splurge on other things for our honeymoon.
One downside was that my mother was not exactly pleased when she found out but she eventually got over it.
Yes, and in the Catholic church the bride and groom are performing a sacrament. That’s some serious stuff for them to be doing, and hardly forgettable.
Tripler and I were married with no attendants but plenty of attendance. We had a destination wedding and felt that just people coming was more than enough for us. My two friends who came from Indiana and Georgia (old best friend & new best friend) helped me with some bridal things (hairstyle, final dressing) but that was it. While he didn’t have a best man in name, Tripler had an ‘aide-de-groom’ who helped us coordinate things that day. We are in our thirties and this was my second wedding, his first.
It’s the Catholic Church’s official take on it, funnily enough. Funnily because WhyNot ain’t no kind of Catholic and because most people don’t understand that a Catholic wedding is about announcing the marriage to the community. That’s the wedding in the sense of the ceremony: the sacrament doesn’t require a ceremony.
In Spain there’s usually only two attendants (a “godfather,” usually the FotB, and “godmother,” usually the MotG, who are supposed to guide the couple in their new life); my aunt’s second marriage was a Civil one and there were no attendants. The whole notion of all those bridesmaids in (generally) horrible dresses is perfectly alien, in the “Englishman in New York” sense of the word.
There was a wedding at Mass in my Parish. Just the couple, professing their vows before the parish. It was great and seemed more sacramental. I always thought if I got married, that’s what I’d like to do.
StG
Exactly the same with me, except our mothers were thrilled.
We got married in the living room of a justice of the peace in Virginia. Witnesses are not required here.
am getting married this summer with no attendants.
My fiancé and I didn’t want a big wedding party, and with the group of friends we have we felt it had to be all or nothing.
So we opted for nothing.
My mother in law got married today with no attendants. It seemed to make sense – she married a guy she’s been friends with for 30 years, in front of other friends they’ve known for 30 years. I knew it met the very definition of low-key when, absent any entrance music, all of the guests began humming ‘‘Here Comes the Bride.’’ About half the weddings I’ve ever attended have deviated from the traditional norm in some way, including my own – so it didn’t strike me as unusual, just casual.
Interesting. The bride angd groom were quite young (mid-20s) and the wedding ceremony itself was otherwise quite over the top.
Wow, and I thought asking the gals to wear matching *dresses *was unreasonable…