Weeds. Aaaarrggh!

The BBQ Pit
1

(sorry this isn’t about pirates and weeds)

Goddammit I am soooooooooo sick of weeds in my flowerbed!! I think what I have is prickly lettuce but I’m not sure. What I have seems even more prickly than that. And it grows like crazy. If I don’t catch it right away I can have stalks of it 2’ high.

I also have some sort of ground ivy in spots, and of course clover creeping into the bed along the edge of the lawn.

I hate HATE weeding. ARGH!!

When I bought my house the front bed was a mess of overgrown juniper. I worked my ass off and got rid of all the juniper and was about to put down grass when my neighbor - who is a gardening maniac (she has a beautiful yard) - ran over and offered to build me a nice bed and give me free plants. I said ok, fine. I had to keep up with the Joneses.

So we cut out some grass to extend the bed and she put in her plants and I bought some mulch and put it down, and it looked pretty nifty. I even watered it regularly.

But ever since, I have been plagued by WEEDS. With my job and the heat and my allergies…and my disinterest…I only get out there every 2 or 3 weeks and it takes 2 hours or more to hunt down all the weeds. I pull them out by the roots like the neighbor said I should. I put down mulch every spring - good mulch from the landscaping company, the same place my neighbor uses. AND THEY KEEP COMING BACK.

This year I have slime mold, too. We had a pretty wet early summer. I find myself having to crawl on my belly through the mold to grab up some of the weeds. I even decided not to water the flowerbed this summer because I was so pissed that I was just watering weeds. This has not stopped the weeds. Apparently they do not need water to grow.

As an extra special bonus this year, the neighborhood maple trees had a sudden upsurge in “helicopters” so I got to spend the first half of the summer pulling out tiny maple trees from the bed (and my patio and my gutters). Yay.

And there’s a ton of weeds in my back yard too, despite my efforts to clean it up. I have an amazing forest of something growing right out of the topsoil pile I left back there, no doubt from the birds that stop by at all hours to take a dirt bath.

Also for the first time in 2 years the nice mulch rounds I built around my 2 front yard trees have sprouted weeds. GAH

I’m getting a major complex about these weeds and my flower bed. The other night I had visions of taking a flamethrower to all of it.

Any words of wisdom for me? Anyone else want to rant? I need to hear everyone else’s weeds horror stories so I don’t feel so much like they are living beings conspiring against me…

2

Your dream wasn’t all that far off the mark. I plan on getting one of these as soon as I have the cash and the thought at the same time.

I have the same problems in my flower beds, due mostly to my own negligence and the rural area I live in. I don’t suppose it helps that I have all those damnable birdfeeders full of thistle and sunflower seed, either. I’m wondering if the prickly plant you’ve described is not actually what sprouts from the Niger thistle seed someone nearby is feeding to finches. It looks pretty similar to what the goldfinches have spread throughout my garden after visiting our feeders. It’s softer than Canadian thistle and gets yellow flowers rather than purple. It’s pretty easy to pull out if you get it early, but I’m with you–I hate weeding.

A couple of suggestions: If you’re getting lots of annual weeds, you can buy this stuff called Preen that will stop seeds from germinating in the soil. This is fine if you don’t have perennials that spread with seed or if you don’t want to plant flower seeds in that garden. I’ve considered using it but haven’t quite surrendered yet. Also, do not be tempted by landscape fabric, that black stuff that claims to let light and water through but keep weeds from growing. It’s the gardening equivalent of snake oil and will just make pulling out the weeds 3 times as difficult.

Edging the bed is the best way to keep weeds from migrating from the lawn. The landscape dude on Ask This Old House, Roger somebody, demonstrated just cutting a V-shaped trench about 4 inches deep at the edge of the garden. He claimed this was adequate to keep grasses from bridging the gap, but frankly, I’m skeptical. If the ground ivy is Creeping Charlie, though, I don’t know of anything that will kill it, deter it, or stop it from taking over the world. Finally, you might want to save up some newspapers and have friends save theirs, and then after you get a bit of it weeded, push away the mulch, lay down a bunch of newspaper (not just a single sheet), and then put the mulch back. Newspaper will degrade, unlike the evil landscape fabric, and it’s pretty good at blocking out weeds.

And that reminds me that I should get out there and pull a few little maple trees myself. Blasted helicopters, get off my lawn!

3

For weeds that are a part of the lawn, I advise benign neglect. My lawn is green unless it is covered by snow, but it is a mix of grass and various weeds. During droughts when the lush, green single-strain grass lawns are brown, my weed/grass lawn is green.

4

Moving thread from IMHO to The BBQ Pit.

5

“Nature abhors a vacuum”. Soil will sprout whatever seedbank contenders it has whether wind or bird borne or simply latent. Plant something that you want that could choke or mulch other growth in that topsoil.
I’ll ditto the landscape fabric condemnation and second the newspapers for a permanent planting. Covered with suitable mulch any weeds that inevitably start will be easily pulled since they can only root in the mulch. You could look into corn meal gluten as a pre-emergent herbicide. A side benny being mild fertilisation.
I compost all the weeds I pull, but you could have a spray bottle of vinegar and salt for herbicide during your tour of duty.
Horror stories? Look up Polygonum Cuspidatum. Grows through concrete, that.

6

On the one hand, eternal weeding is part of gardening. If you want to stop weeding at some point, I’d advise putting in concrete. :smiley:

On the other hand, Purgatory Creek has good advice (and vetbridge). If your mulch is growing, you need to change your mulch. I use mini-nuggets bark chips, and never had a sprout in five years of using it. They’re pretty good at weed deterring, too. The best thing I use to deter weeds, though, is actual pine cones (I have a bed of them under my pine trees since nothing else will grow under them). If the weeding is just too much for you, though, take out the beds and put in grass or something. How about a nice bed of various types of decorative stones with larger stones and garden ornaments in it for focal points? Hose it down with Round-up in spring and you’re good.

I’m more or less okay with weeding all summer long, but the ants…now that’s a rant!

ETA: Carson also has good advice. Don’t want to leave anyone out!

7

This is a strange year. We have some bees back after a long absence. We have had no trouble with fleas after last years infestation after infestation. But man do we have weeds. I used a fertilizer with a weed killer in it, I believe they like it. I could not pick all the weeds in my yard if I did it til Xmas.

8

I’ve had good results with the landscape fabric (covered with mulch). After the first year, some weeds might pop through but they pull easily, maybe because the dirt under the fabric is damp.

We have weeds in the lawn, but like vetbridge says, green is green. The only weed we spray for is creeping charlie, and that’s only because we want to stay on good terms with our neighbors.

9

Sweet! My weed anger is so intense that it got moved to the Pit! I AM SICK OF MOTHERFUCKING WEEDS IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING GARDEN!

I had heard of newspaper under the mulch, but I hadn’t tried it. I actually have a closet full of useless weekly local newspapers. Into the garden they will go! (I read you’re supposed to wet it down before replacing the mulch. I’ll try that.)

My neighbor is definitely feeding finches in his backyard. He gets so many birds, I don’t need to put out feeders because I can enjoy all his birds. Now I think I am going to start hating the birds because I think Purgatory Creek is right on the money with the thistle idea. FECK!

Creeping charlie…yeah that’s what is creeping in from the lawn, not clover. I have an edger and I edged this year but apparently not wide enough. There IS a 4" trench there but uh…it’s covered in creeping charlie :slight_smile:

Good advice on the mulch, featherlou. I get the cheapest stuff (dark brown double shredded) from the mulch place. I coulda swore they said their mulch was a high-percent weed free but that doesn’t do me any good if the goddamn birds are dropping weed seed. I’ll consider nuggets next year.

I got the weeding done last night, out of embarrassment, but tonight I have to go back and dead-head and thin stuff out. I let it get so overgrown that some of the plants died.

ARGH!

10

I hear ya. I’ve gotten so mad at the stupid weeds that from time to time I fantasize about cooking up a batch of 2,4,5-trichlorophenoxyacetic acid to throw in with the Roundup (which would give me homemade Agent Orange as well as an EPA violation.) So I’ve pretty much resigned myself to pulling them instead.

11

Half our yard is now basically 3 types of weeds. Without the crab grass it would be just dirt. Somewhere in the crab grass are a few garden plants, but the soil is too nasty for most things to grow nicely.

Creeping Charlie requires aggressive chemical treatment to get rid of it, unless your willing to cover the whole yard in black plastic for a year.

12

Newspaper under mulch is a vastly better idea than using landscape fabric, which blocks effective moisture and air circulation, leaving a mucky, compacted layer beneath it. Weeds will sprout in the mulch or litter that blows onto the fabric, and weeds rooted in fabric are much harder to pull. Plus, you won’t be able to readily move plants around in that bed or add new things without disturbing the fabric.

Hate to say this, but uncontrollable weeds are an indicator that you may not have enough time to adequately care for an oversized garden. You might be happier with a smaller, more easily maintained space and/or container gardening.

13

My sentiments exactly.

I have been meaning to start a thread about these fricking weeds that are overtaking my desert landscaping in the front.

These damn weeds that look like that Creeping Charlie shit without the cute purple flowers all over it is spreading out through my rocks and fuck, if it isn’t the hardest damn thing to pull up and get rid of. It’s all sticky and woven up in the rocks. :mad:

I bought some super Roundup weed death on Saturday to put down on these vile weedy bastards, but it has been a bit to breezy and I don’t really want to kill by bottle-brush bushes- as they are actually doing quite well. So I have been waiting for an evening with calm to no wind to apply.

I am hoping that the weed death product will also annihilate the other stupid weeds that just laughed at me when I applied some Ortho weed-be-Gone to them.

I go out and spend an hour or more pulling up weeds by the root and the next day- there are more. Did the fuckers grow overnight? The yard was weed free when I was done. GAH!!!

I am about to go with the scorched earth method, burn all the damn plants in the front yard and start over, but I am sure the HOA would throw a fit and fall in it if I did that.

The backyard is a whole different battle. I have a Jimson Weed that was the size of a small car and I tried cutting it back and spraying weed death (weed-be-gone) on it- It came back with a vengeance. Maybe I’ll just cut it back this time and set it on fire. I don’t have anything in my backyard but dirt and rocks and it’s far enough away from the house I’ll be OK with the hose and a fire extinguisher standing by while I do an impersonation of Mr. Burns while watching it burn.

I feel better now.

:slight_smile:

14

I totally agree. I don’t want anything. I am just too much of a weenie to tell my neighbor to lump it (buried in the OP I noted that my neighbor planted this bed, not me.)

15

That’s what I’m using, and I thought maybe I was a bit wacky for doing that instead of landscape fabric. I feel better about my newspaper garden now! I know it will degrade, but for a couple of seasons, it’s been nice to have some areas where I don’t worry about the weeds, the damnable weeds. (It’s a good thick layer of newspaper with bark mulch on top.) I will cross the next bridge when it comes–or else just add more newspaper layers and more bark mulch.

16

Seconded. I was skeptical and only put it on one flower bed. It’s now the one with almost no weeds. Put it on first, THEN spread mulch over it.

17

You know, I came top this thread originally thinking it was gonna be a rant directed at the Mary-Lousie Parker comedy. Mary-Lousie, if you are reading, I was here to defend ya! :stuck_out_tongue:

18

By the way, “Preen” may rhyme with “green”, but it’s a pre-emergent herbicide that carries some environmental and personal risks with use.

Label warnings include moderate eye irritation and note the product is harmful if inhaled or absorbed through the skin. It also is listed as “extremely toxic” to fish and aquatic invertebrates (potential for harm through runoff into waterways). There are also reports of possible toxicity to frogs and toads.

A safe alternative is corn gluten meal (available at some garden and feed stores) which also inhibits sprouting of weed seedlings, and works as a fertilizer as well.

19

Dupont’s weed fabric and a jug of Roundup shall become your friends.

20

“Safe” for dogs, too? My dog loves to eat mulch. Crazy girl!

vetbridge, I’m a fan of the show “Weeds” too. And the way they style their episodes with what seems like a cliffhanger at the end of every half hour, I do find myself saying “Weeds! Argh!” with regards to that, too :slight_smile: