Weighty Issues.

The BBQ Pit
41

Since it’s my thread, I suppose I should respond.

I made a promise - that I would remain at a certain weight after working hard to lose a larger amount of weight. I’ve had two months to lose ten pounds. And I wasn’t able to do it. I wasn’t asking how to kill myself, I wasn’t asking how to make myself sick, I wasn’t asking how to injure myself. I asked how to lose weight rapidly to meet a deadline, so I could then return to my normal healthy eating;/working out routines.

As for the state of my relationship - thanks for the commentary, but since you’re not privy to the underlying issues, I think it’s rather rude to assume “ick” and “eew” and being in a controlling relationship, etc. Do I come off as unintelligent or unable to voice my opinion? I didn’t think I had.

I understand the Reader wanting to protect their butts. Fine. But I again, I wasn’t asking for ways to damage myself, just methods others had used for rapid weight loss. I just had to hit the mark.

And thanks to all who pretty much crapped all over me without knowing my reasoning, or even asking. The depression I’ve felt over not being able to hit this mark and other things in my life isn’t bad enough without others looking down on me for wanting to LOSE WEIGHT. I’m 5’6". No, 140-145 is not over into the realm of obesity. But it is not where I said I would be, and for once, I wanted to be accountable to something I said I would be. For Christ sake, one would think it might warrant a little - tiny - slight - minuscule - admiration?

Never mind. In my confusion about not having anyone in my life to talk to at all, I thought I could solicit some advice from some folks who seemed pretty knowledgeable and friendly. Notice I didn’t post in the Pit deliberately so as to avoid the vitriol. snort Lotta good that did me.

For those who DID post some positive ideas and encouragement - thank you. I fully intend to keep to my healthy lifestyle. I just wanted to hit a mark I set for myself a while ago. Whether or not it impinges upon my relationship is another thread, and with the response I received this far, this definitely is not the forum to discuss that.

Respectfully,

Inky.

PS - thank you to Inigo, who took the time to write to me privately and say something nice. It was the only nice words I heard today. It meant a lot.

42

Oh. I didn’t ask how to build a bomb. I asked how to get to 135 in 7 days.

Sliiiiiiight difference.

43

Because the weight-loss thing directly affects her physical health, and asking for advice for things that directly affect your physical health can quite reasonably be interpreted as soliciting medical advice. Soliciting medical advice on the board is strongly discouraged, because none of us here, even the MDs, are qualified to give her medical advice sight unseen.

Giving our opinions about someone’s interpersonal relationships ain’t going to get us smacked for practicing medicine without a license.

44

If most people respond to your situation in a certain way, you might want to re-consider your interpretation of the situation.

Of course we don’t know all the details of your relationships, but don’t simply get defensive and shut out all criticism. Sometimes strangers can see things from the outside that we are too close to the situation to realize. And sometimes strangers are completely poo-filled. I would suggest your best bet is to examine the responses, take to heart the ones that fit, and ignore the others.

45

ink, you say you’ve been stuck at the undesireable weight for 2 months. So basically you’re plateaued out.

As the Mod said, you need to visit a professional. Either a medical doctor, or preferably a personal trainer.

Plateauing is a normal part of losing weight. Screwing up your metabolism and hard won muscle gain and fat loss by some screwball get skinny quick scheme is NOT what you want to do right now.

Secondly. Why are you relying on the scale to tell you what your goal should be? How do you know you haven’t lost fat pounds and gained muscle? Your tape measure and the fit of your clothing and “eyeballing” should be your main “tell” for how well your doing with your fat loss progress.

You need to figure out what your lean body mass is, how much fat percentage you want to lose, and then concentrate on losing the inches NOT the scale weight. We normally fluctuate 2-3 pounds in a day normally by the scale. It means nothing. Just fluid gain and loss for the most part.

Get yourself a personal trainer and/or some good work out books take some time and don’t beat yourself up for the plateau, it’s NORMAL. (pssssst I HATE Atkins…have you tried some of the more balanced fat loss programs like Body for Life or Leanness Lifestyle?).

Hang in there, don’t get frustrated, just regroup, get some new info and keep on hitting the gym!!!

Shoes…a college PE prof.

:slight_smile:

46

8 pounds was the actual goal if you read the OP. She says she weighs 140. Translating that to percentages, 140/1,4 = 100 so 8/1,4 = 5,7%. I’d say that’d be the average weightloss in the first week that someone is in love.

I’m not sure if moderator action in these cases achieves anything other than making this a place where some of the more mundane issues in life become taboo subjects. Sure, losing weight in the wrong way can be dangerous or counterproductive, but on SD that will generally surface in the discussion all by itself. People are here to make up their own minds, with the help of fellow SD’ers.

I posit that making this a non-discusseable subject is a lot more harmful, in the same way that teen pregnancies are partly caused by tight-lipped parents opposing sex-ed in schools. You will be as likely to influence people to talk to qualified medical personnel as with co-workers who are less likely to support the 1973 cause than at least one or two SD’ers will on-line.

47

I think it’s great that you want to have accountability for your promises - but might I suggest that weight matters may not be the place to start? As you’ve noticed from your weight loss problems, your body is not completely under your control. I don’t want to get mixed up in the “weight loss is easy/no it’s not” debate, but I do have to say that our bodies do things like retaining water & maintaining a metabolic rate - and although we can control it to a large degree, there’s still that little part that we can’t.

All I’m saying is, if you want to make a promise that you can keep, you might want to go with something that is a little more under your control.

Susan

48

My apologies for earlier snarkiness. Obviously, this is something which is bothering me. And I did get some good advice. Trust that the good advice went in and stuck and the bad I am working at expelling.

Just having a rough time in other areas right now, and I truly felt a little heaped-upon. So, again, I apologize if I came off aggressively.

Respectfully,

Inky

49

What’s disturbing, IADAD is not just that your post sounded like “oh, I need to get down to 132 because I promised my boyfriend, and I just don’t know what I’ll do if he leaves me.”

Which it did.

The more important issue here is that the goal of some number is completely stupid, and to make THAT the promise indicates that neither you nor he is clued into what a healthy diet and lifestyle really mean, despite your assertions that you do.

You say: I asked how to lose weight rapidly to meet a deadline, so I could then return to my normal healthy eating;/working out routines. The problem here is that I doubt that someone who actually has a normal healthy eating/working out routine (and doesn’t just THINK she does) is trying to drop 8-10 pounds in a week.

If you must promise him something meaningful make it something like, “I’ll be running 25 miles per week for 2 months leading up to your birthday” or “I’ll be cycling 75 miles per week for 2 months leading up to your birthday” or “I won’t eat McDonald’s for six months”.

Those are healthy, reasonable promises that should probably lead to weight loss. You promise some arbitrary number and you wind up in this moronic situation of wanting to lose a bunch of weight in a week. Which is possible, but completely misses the spirit of being HEALTHY, presumably your original goal (or was your original goal just something superficial like being able to fit into a size 4?).

It makes you sound insecure and clueless and others are trying to help.

In a related note, does anyone else find the notion of someone SUING the Chicago Reader completely far-fetched, regardless of how litigous our society is.

Can anyone point out the last time someone sued (much less won) something similar to the SDMB for receiving harmful advice?

Could anyone imagine someone here asking for advice, following it, and then having the temerity to sue?

That guy who sued McDonald’s for making him fat was laughed off the planet.

Even the women who sued over the hot coffee had a slam dunk compared to something like this.

Given my opinion about that, I found the thread closing TOTALLY premature.

50

Emphasis and editing mine.

Ink a dink, the other advice is really meant as nice words, too. From what you’ve posted, it seems to many posters that you are asking these eight pounds to take with them an awful lot of emotional weight, but that’s just not going to happen. And that’s what’s unhealthy.
On preview: what Susan and Trunk said.

51

Trunk, while I thank you for the constructive items in your post, I must take umbrage with the It makes you sound insecure and clueless line.

If you’ve read any of my other posts, I do not think (I don’t believe) that you’d find a clueless, spineless person who seems insecure and unable to make her own opinion.

No, my goal was not as “superficial” as trying to make it to a size 4. It was trying to follow-up on my word, something I, admittedly, have not always been the best at, which is why this became so important to me.

I didn’t promise an arbitratry number. If you read the posts, it was the SAME number I had achieved previously. Randomness aside, it’s well within the recommended weight limits for my height. I eat well. I exercise regularly. My diet IS approved my my doctor. I have high cholesterol (from genetics, not any eating habits), and my diet was examined rigorously by my doctor.

Get it here - all I wanted to do was drop to 135 for the birthday. If I went back up after, it would be okay and I could continue to lose and exercise like I do daily. Christ, you would think I asked for the exact vein to hit. I did not do so. I do not advocate an unhealthy lifestyle, I do not advocate bulemia nor anorexia, all I wanted to do was hit a mark by a date i had promised.

Okay, breathing deeply, I am getting aggrivated again, so I will step away for a bit and see what develops.

For what it’s worth - although I live in California (now), I am not a litigious person. I was raised on the principle that what you do you are responsible for. And if you read the thread where I admitted I had a DUI in my past and copped to it and took my lumps because I KNEW I had made a terrible error in judgement, you would likely see that I know right from wrong, and my own choices are just that - my own choices. You can’t make me do what I don’t want (not you specifically Trunk, sorry if it reads that way…), so please stop with the “if she takes bad advice she’ll sue the Dope” stuff.

Going away now for a little bit to do some work and to work out.

I hope all have a rewarding day. Sincerely.

Respectfully,

Inky.

52

Arrgh.

one final note. Regarding “my lifestyle” - I had aspirations of moving into the fetish modeling ring, i.e,: wearing rubber, latex, corseting, etc. One needs a specific body type to be able to do so. I am in that area now. This is what I was referring to. I look damn good in Madame S fashions.

Respectfully,

Inky

53

:smack:

Fuckin’ ell!!!

You guys are like pit bulls! Sink your teeth into something and refuse to let go.

What are you going to do? Stage an online intervention?!! :eek:
Have a good workout Ink. Blow off some steam and if you can manage a pound or two then good on ya luv!

54

Yes, yes it did. And despite IADAD’s protestations, and having gone back and read her older posts, it still does. What IADAD was trying to do was unhealthy, some people called her on it instead of giving her the admiration that she wanted, and now she’s in a snit.

Somehow, I don’t think the thread would have been closed if it was “How can I lose 10 pounds in a month?” instead of “How can I lose 10 pounds in a week cause I promised my boyfriend (who is old enough to be my dad) and if I don’t reach it he’s gonna get real mad and leave me?”

Funny how when she wants sympathy, the boyfriend is an ogre who is putting too much pressure on her, but when people start to point out how emotionally unhealthy that is and question why she is putting up with it, suddenly he’s a wunnerful, wunnerful guy who is just supporting her goals. Riiiiiiight.

55

This post does a lot to diminish my feeling that Inka has “insecurity issues”.

Need I add a :rolleyes: ?

56

Minnie, Trunk - I say this with the most heartfelt of sentiments.

Get bent and get a life. (:rolleyes: x Infinity)

57

I’m sorry, I forgot the appropriate response to someone flirt fishing. . .

what is it, again. . .

Whoa, Inka, how you doin’? :wink:
(:rolleyes: x Infinity + 1)

58

Again, not knowing her complete medical history DOES have a huge bearing on affects of the original OP’s question. Many over weight (the original OP isn’t over weight in my books) people have diabetes and crash diets can be fatal (some might not know they are diabetic without having seen a doctor first).

Crash dieting is bad in general anyhow and anyone who bothers to google it can see it’s not good for you (sure, I personally wouldn’t classify it as “dangerous” but it’s not going to help you actually lose weight).

59

Oh yeah, I’ll get right on that. ( :rolleyes: x Infinity x Infinity) Exactly how many hours per day of flirt fishing on message boards would constitute “having a life” as wuuunnerful as yours? Does all the flirting have to be with people who are already in a relationship, or is that just gravy? I’m assuming I’ll have to ditch my husband and sons and live in someone’s basement.

60

I’m honestly confused - what is this about flirt fishing?

And why the vitriol against me? I do have a good relationship. With a wonderful man. Yes, he’s older. He also has scoliosis. I don’t. He has a penis, I don’t. He owns a company, I don’t. He doesn’t own pets, I do. We both play petanque. I mean, what the heck does his age have to do with our relationship? About as much as the rest of it, I suppose.

Look, you obviously think little of me and think I am off looking for sympathy, which I am not. If that was the impression you took away, then I’m sorry I wasn’t clearer for you.

Because I don’t think the post you placed has anything to do with the topic (and because I really don’t get it), I won’t respond to it.

Trunk - sorry if you thought I was flirting with you? Not sure how I may’ve given you that impression, but it’s not the case at all.

Respectfully,

Inky