What the hell are you on about?
Nevermind… I’m sure I don’t want any part of your John Edwards-esque readings of who you think I am.
You know, I just love how you all decide on a diagnosis and stick to it regardless - it’s the classic situation of if you deny it, you’re in denial. If you deny you’re in denial, then you’re in denial about being in denial. Ad infinitum, ad nauseum.
The girl wanted to lose a certain amount of weight by a certain date, which by coincidence, happens to be her boyfriend’s birthday. Everything else about her boyfriend is stuff that you all have read into it, not stuff that she ever said or indicated.
Even young women, yes even those who are dating older men, are capable of making decisions that are not based on ultimata from their boyfriends. Guess what else? It’s possible to want to lose weight for your own sake and still be aware that it would please and gratify your boyfriend. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Trunk, your comment on Ink’s reference to fetish modelling demonstrates both your obnoxiousness and your absolute conviction that you are right despite evidence against it. Do you have any idea how challenging to the figure lingerie, and especially fetish lingerie, is? It is not kind to flaws of the figure. The fact that Ink is on the verge of doing this kind of modelling suggests enormous confidence in herself, not the reverse. And as for your obvious judgment on her choice in that respect, hey, lots of people are into fetish stuff. The fact that you think it’s indicative of serious psychological dysfunction says more about yourself than them.
And Minnie, haven’t you ever been in a relationship about which you were both happy and yet griping? Or that had simple issues on which you might have wanted advice? How fortunate for you! Most of the rest of us are mere mortals, who actually have occasional problems within otherwise good relationships.
I sure am glad I have all of you to straighten me out, since you’re obviously capable of evaluating and judging a person’s entire life based on a single paragraph indicating a desire to do something that goes against one of the latest health hot buttons. Who knows how happy I might be if I didn’t have you folks to explain to me why I was wrong, crashing headlong toward disaster, and actually miserable?
There aren’t enough roll-eyes for this. I never thought of this message board as containing such a sizable bunch of self-important assholes before.
Oh, I get it. I happen to support a poster’s view on a particular subject and because that poster is of the opposite sex, that makes my motives immediately suspect and flirtatious. Nice, Trunk.
Well, you’ve busted me. Got me dead to rights mate. Yup, I’m a rubber fetishist into otherwise spoken for anonymous female posters. That’s my thing alright. :rolleyes:
Since you’re so clever and a mind reader to boot, Guess what I’m thinking right now…
I don’t find it far-fetched at all. As far as I know, the damage would be done in the suit being brought against the Chicago Reader, regardless of the outcome. That would push these boards over the line in terms of “benefit vs hassle” for The Reader. Any disgruntled banned poster could take it upon themselves to sue The Reader - I don’t know the justice system well enough to say that the suit would be thrown out or not, but from what I’ve seen of frivolous-looking lawsuits, it’s not out of the realm of possibility at all.
(Inka, I’m sorry that you’re feeling piled-on. The best advice regarding that was posted on these boards a while ago - I forget who posted it. The poster said to remember that you’re probably arguing with 12 year olds. I’ve found that really helps when people are getting under my skin.)
And the fact that she brought it up unsolicited in a thread that was previously focussed on her attitude towards weight loss suggests the oppositie.
You think the woman who has to lose 10 pounds in a week because of a promise to her boyfried has enormous confidence in herself.
I’ll disagree and leave it at that.
What Ink said was:
*You guys * have decided that it was a promise to her boyfriend, that he was threatening to leave her if she didn’t do it, etc. She never said that, and nothing she has said leads me to believe that she thinks this is the case.
Gee, Trunk, didn’t you ever find a promise to someone else to be a better motivator than just wanting to do something yourself? Lord knows, she’s made it clear that *she * wants to lose the weight, regardless of how her boyfriend feels. If a promise to him helps, more power to her. But then the issue becomes not whether or not she lost the weight, but whether or not she keeps a promise, and that, I’m sure you’ll agree, is a different issue. The fact that it was not a reasonable promise to make (because it is impossible to predict the vagaries of weight loss sufficiently well to be able to state with absolute confidence the achievement of any particular weight by a particular date) does not keep it from being important to her to *try * to do so.
And, btw, when did wanting to do something for someone else become the ultimate psychological sin in this society? It is possible to do something partially, or even entirely for the sake of another person without being hopelessly dependent and under that person’s sway. Ask any parent! In fact, ask any happily married person. It’s one thing to live your entire life under rules or guidelines set by another person. But for Pete’s sake, people, there’s nothing wrong with trying to do something for somebody, dammit!
Why are you so eager to rescue someone who doesn’t need your rescuing? Are your own lives that empty?
n/m
Help on losing her 10 pounds, not on re-structuring her entire life on your snap diagnosis. I might use the same kind of sign-off to get help installing a new operating system. Does that make me in need of rescue?
That depends… what O/S are you installing?
Cuz you know, if it’s what your corporate standards dictate then you are just conforming to their wants and desires and not letting your real self shine through. You’re beautiful just the way you are, Oy! Learn to be happy with the ‘YOU’. 
You’re right, Quick. I should learn to live my own life. Of course, then I won’t have a job, but hey, I’ll be psychologically healthy, so that’s worth it, isn’t it?
Oh, and obviously since I’m agreeing with you and I’m a woman, I must be flirting with you. So how *you * doin’? :rolleyes:
Hang on a second… <wrestling into my latex outfit> … So what’s a nice girl like you…
Eh. I think we’ve milked this one to death.
Hmph! Apparently I’m only worth one round of flirting. (sobs insecurely into her keyboard) 
Because as I’ve said many times, on this board, the only tool many people have is a hammer, and every problem is a nail.
I thank everyone who offered constructive ideas on how to help me achieve my goal. I thank those who kindly worried I may be setting myself up for a fall by trying to hit an unrealistic limit. I thank those who expressed concern for my well-being.
Ultimately, some of the crueler things here only inspired me to greater work-outs, as I really had to work off some steam rather than respond to what felt like baiting. Oh, I knew better than to respond, even if it wasn’t baiting, but sometimes the compulsion to grab the keyboard and go is hard to deny, so I walked down by the lake by my house and walked and walked and walked at a high speed, getting my hear-rate up and sweating some of the weight away. It seemed to have worked a bit (fingers crossed) so, even those with a little more venom helped, so I thank them, as well.
My goal was just that - my goal. It still is my goal. I will hit my goal, and if I don’t hit it by that day, then my life is not over. I’ll just keep working to reach my point. There was not bullying to hit the limit in my relationship, there was no ultimatum if I didn’t hit it. My relationship has it’s ups and downs, much as I assume others’ do, but this wasn’t a situation of do-or-die. Though the concern shown was meant kindly (I choose to assume), there truly is no need.
I am the one who has trouble following through on my own goals. I am infamous for falling down and never hitting my stride. I wanted to be able to hold myself accountable. I also have been having a little trouble with my depression of late - something I have no shame in admitting - but I’ve spoken with my doctor, and she assures me that the mix of my meds is fine, and we can always adjust when I see her Friday. I mention my depression because some may have interpreted it as insecurity.
Oh dear, if there is one thing I am not, it is insecure! Well, mainly. I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit to moments, but…that was not the situation here. I’d been rather weepy and depressed lately, and my motivation was bad - things that all have to do with my depression, which I’ve dealt with for years and years and years. And something I am dealing with in a healthy manner as well, by sticking to my meds (this time) and keeping an open dialogue with my physician about it.
As for trying to break into the fetish modeling industry - there is no worry that I will be pushing Masuimi Max, Dita Von Teese or Bianca Beauchamp off their pedestals any time soon. These are women I’ve met, admired, and liked very much, and I feel no shame in wanting to emulate them, or get into the fetish modeling industry. I happen to LIKE latex, rubber, corsetry, and the like. I have all my life. It’s only recently that I’ve reached a place where I can make these fantasies a reality (with contacts, with body, with confidence in myself, with sources, with location), and since I am 35 (pushing 36 with a hardness, like 2 weeks), I want to reach for it now, rather than spend my life wondering if I coulda…
So, to the person who began this post - I understand your initial discussion. Was my posting in MPSIMS dangerous in light of other posts that have asked for and solicited advice. I can see where my post in particular hit a hot button. As someone else in this discussion noted, weight loss and rapid weight loss seems to be a hot issue these days, and had I not been a person in a right-state of mind, it could’ve been dangerous territory. And perhaps it could’ve been dangerous information for anyone else who happened across the thread, as well.
That having been said, any post that gives advice, from how to change out a hard-drive, how to put up a barn, cut your hair, use whitening strips on your teeth, etc, can have harmful effects; it all depends upon the reader. (Not the Chicago Reader, of course.) If any advice is given and taken by someone who does not fully understand the consequences, directions, potential harmful effects and other ominous directives, then by rights, no advice should be given on this board at all.
I am not sure what the correct answer is to this problem. Do we, as a community, protect ourselves to such a degree that any form of advice (or discourse) has the potential liability to become litigious, should someone disagree, hurt themselves, find offense…? In my opinion, the society has become so Politically Correct that we’ve darn near lost the ability to communicate without caveats. (Notice the irony in that sentence.)
Being long-winded, I wind down here (cooling down from my workout today), and thank all who participated - both in the original thread and here.
I hope all have a pleasant day.
Respectfully,
Inky
PS - may you all find the strength to follow and achieve your goals, as well.