Suggest funny behaviour to adopt to make the people around you think you’re losing it.
I am talking mainly subtle things, or non-extreme things, like walk everywhere backwards, or sign your emails with ‘bubble sock’
Put your hand up.
When your boss asks why you’ve got your hand up. Say “Can I go to the bathroom?”
Point out anagrams. And if they don’t make sense, make something up. Raise an eyebrow and nod knowingly.
You know, Cancun backwards is nuc-nac.
Shifty, darting eyes that avoid direct eye contact and move constantly. Especially when you’re strangely trying to avoid answering simple questions, like “Do you want to go out for lunch?”
Slight body tremors are an added bonus if they ask what is wrong with you and you say “Nothing. Nothing at all.” while your eyes are going everywhere.
Bolding: There’s a guy in our IT dept who does exactly that (edit: Well not moving about, but the eyes, and not trying to avoid the question, but rather trying to answer it). If you ask a simple IT question his eyes roll around in his sockets and he says “erm”.
What’s weirder is: The behaviour is contagious, he has a nack of asking you a question that will trigger the same behaviour in you. I mean serious eyes scanning the ceiling comedically.
edit: I’ve actually developed a habit of busying myself with some mundane task once I’ve asked a question, while he forms his answer in his head. Rather than stand and stare waiting for the answer.
Start every sentence with ‘Actually…’
If I am driving with someone else in the car and I happen to sneeze, I always turn on the windshield wipers. 
I think I got the idea for this from one of the Penn & Teller books.
I love inspiring people’s inner-insanity. I hope this thread takes offTOUCHWOOD!!!
(hey, I just made that connection - is the show ‘touchwood’ in any way connected to the superstition to touch something wooden to avoid the jinx?)
I believe in the view that the vast majority are acting normal. In other words it’s just an act. Most people are learning what behaving normal looks like and then copying that behaviour, but really, secretly they desire to act rather unusually…
Like have a long and detailed audible conversation with yourself in public.
Or suddenly decide to lie down on the floor (in public or at work) and have a nap or a rest.
Or go and hug someone you are fond of, even if they don’t know you.
Edit: I also believe that when you get drunk you forget to keep up the ‘act’. Or if you are like me your anxiety that you will forget, and will start behaving as you feel like behaving, stops you and makes you try even harder to behave normally. (probably failing in the process)
I knew a woman who was great with this sort of stuff - could tell you lots of stories about her.
One classic is that some old lady was staring at her at a restaurant and my friend suddenly starting reaching into the air, grabbing imaginary gnats and putting them in her mouth and eating them. The old lady was so grossed out she up and left shortly afterwards.
Forgot another story.
I worked for a major film studio and one of the administrative assistants was this totally insane, but gorgeous red-head with huge tits. Let’s call her Rita (not her real name).
One day Rita’s boss, one of the major development people in charge of choosing films to be green-lit, had a very important meeting with some writers and film studio people in his office.
Rita walked into the meeting, said, “I have a really bad backache.” and proceeded to lie flat on the floor in the middle of this meeting, and she moved back and forth and groaned loudly. After about three minutes of this, she got up and left the room.
She was fired that very day, but the legend lives on in that studio.
I would not have fired her. I would have waited until she was stable of mind and then asked her what on earth was going through her mind or what state of mind she was in (and why so) when she did what she did.
I live in a world where firing people is difficult. (Anything useful such as being able to fire people known to be detrimental to your operation is illegal wherever British laws apply or are copied, such as in the Isle of man)
Trust me when I say this woman was truly insane to begin with. One of her other stunts was to call and order a blimp to fly over her nephew’s Billy’s birthday party, flashing Happy Birthday Billy! - and charging it to the film studio without the studio knowing it. That bill came in a few weeks after she had been fired!
Hmmmm. Ok, here’s a small list for you:
[ul]
[li]When stating facts (such as “it is raining”) always preface it with “it is my opinion that”[/li][li]Conversely, when stating your opinion, (such as “yellow is a pretty colour”) preface with “it is a well-known fact that”[/li][li]draw faces on your fingertips and when you can pretend that you think no one is watching, have conversations with them[/li][li]read books backwards. Start at the end and read the sentences backwards. Out loud. If anyone asks, explain that that is how you were taught to do it in the Bangkok Spec Ops unit you were in when you were in 5th grade[/li][li]wear eyeliner for lipstick and lipliner for eyeshadow (if female) – extra points if you’re male[/li][li]Send out random emails to cow-orkers asking if they have any thyroid medicine, as you have run out and can’t afford the $4 co-pay[/li][li]when people are talking to you, mouth their words back to them – I had a cow-orker who did this, it seriously creeped me the fuck out[/li][li]while in the mall/dept store/wal-mart, randomly speak to mannequins – bonus points for yelling at them for being rude when they don’t answer[/li][li]announce what sex you are at random moments “Does anyone have suggestions for the date of our next meeting?” “I am female!”)[/li][li]rush to get to the door first, as if you plan on opening it for the next person then wait for them to open it and run through it[/li][/ul]
Yeh, I am the “weird” coworker, why do you ask?