Weird Businesses in Your Area

In My Humble Opinion
101

I’m sure I must have missed it, because someone HAS to have already mentioned the alcohol sales establishment on Rte 114 (I think) heading into Salem, Massachusetts with the name:

Bunghole Liquors

That’s the only fun thing about it. It’s just a regular liquor store. The name, apparently left over from a time when the bunghole more commonly brought to mind the spigot at the bottom of the wine barrel where they drained the liquid.

I can’t pass the place…or even think of it…without having a nice giggle. Bunghole liquors. Hee hee.

L

102

In my downtown, there is a place called simply “Comida Chinese”. (that’s Chinese Food, in Spanish.)

-lv

103

Oh, how could I forget? Back in Champaign, IL, perhaps 10 years ago (and maybe they still exist, I don’t know), there was a furniture store. Seemed pretty normal, they sold futons and stuff, made sense in a college town. But their commercials…ah, the commercials! You had some hick-looking guy (not too weird in central Illinois) as the ‘spokesman’ talking about their great deals, and at the end, he’d promise “…and you get a FREE ONION with every purchase!” Then his partner would toss him an onion to catch, and that would be the end of the commercial.

Huh? I’ve heard of sales gimmicks and marketing ploys, but an onion with your furniture purchase?

Actually, there were lots of weird and/or bad commercials in Champaign/Urbana. I remember some car lot that had a cheesy, hand-drawn super-hero flying over their parking lot (in the TV ad, that is), with the owner’s head pasted on the superhero. God, it was so cheesy. Does anyone else remember bad/weird TV ads (esp. if they were in Chambana, IL?)

104

I never went in, but the Green Spot in Revere used to have quite an assortment of stuff advertised and/or displayed in the window. You could get live lobsters, velvet Elvises, and ceramic dogs (like the ones they used to have on Wheel of Fortune), among other things. Last time I went by it wasn’t half as odd, and I honestly don’t know if they’re still there. I expect they probably are. Salvitti’s Martial Arts was next door, which always gave my Italian friend a giggle. They’re probably in collusion with the Italian restaurant in my hometown. Last time I went, all the cooks were Asian. They’ve changed the name and menu since then so I don’t know if it’s the same people. It was a nice, somewhat pricy bistro with excellent food but the owner spoiled it for me once walking around in a sleeveless undershirt and parachute pants. Which is how you see guys dressed at Revere Beach in the summer (still).

There’s a Chinese/Italian/Deli called Alfredo, Weinstein and Ho’s that I’ve been to, not in LA but in Halifax, NS. Wouldn’t say it was great but not bad, it’s good if you can’t make up your mind or if the members of your party can’t agree I guess. They get extra points because when we had that very problem, the waiter offered us spam, spam, spam, eggs, sausage and spam. I’ve also been to an Indonesian/Irish restaurant somewhere near Shannon Airport which was quite good. For other odd combos I know of a place in a bad neighborhood that advertises that they sell guns and cash welfare checks.

In Salem there’s a shop that sells Victorian-style items - primarily hats and fans, and the owner seems to open up when she feels like it despite the hours posted on the door. There was also a pizza place around the corner from my parents’ house that did the same, but they’ve closed recently. Too bad, because if you caught them when they were open they were really good.

Possibly the strangest one of all is one that doesn’t exist (AFAIK). I briefly worked with a guy whose lifelong dream was to open a store that sold only cigarettes and darts. The logo would be “a sexy witch smoking a cigarette and riding a dart.” The name would be, of course, Smoky Darts. Not to knock anyone’s lifelong dream or anything, but, well, that still sounds just plain silly to me.

ps - SexyWriter - no, Bunghole Liquors is definitely named that on purpose. They sell t-shirts that read “I Got It In The Bunghole.” My friend gave me one for Christmas one year because I was the only person she knew who’d actually wear it - and I did.

105

When I was in high school in Louisville, KY, I used to go to the concrete statuary and ice cream shop. You’d get your cone and wander through the bird baths and lawn fountains, cherubs spitting water. It was a cool first-date place - offbeat and charming. It reminded me of the classic “Fred’s Fill Dirt and Croissants” cartoon from the Far Side…

106

Worcester, MA seems to be a haven for this type of place (see previous post re: the combined bowling alley and BDSM supply place). The other one may or may not have been an actual business. Across from my house there was an alley leading to another residential street near Clark University.

One day several guys appeared at the start of the alley. They strung an enormous banner, white with three foot high red lettering, that read “CHICKEN CHOICES!”. For that summer there was always at least one guy with a folding chair in front of the banner. I never saw anyone stop buy or any transaction taking place. The guy always sat there from 10-5 though, just as if he was tending shop.

I will always regret not just asking what they were selling. I would assume chicken was involved somehow, but I have lost my chance forever.

107

Worcester, MA seems to be a haven for this type of place (see previous post re: the combined bowling alley and BDSM supply place). The other one may or may not have been an actual business. Across from my house there was an alley leading to another residential street near Clark University.

One day several guys appeared at the start of the alley. They strung an enormous banner, white with three foot high red lettering, that read “CHICKEN CHOICES!”. For that summer there was always at least one guy with a folding chair in front of the banner. I never saw anyone stop to buy something or any transaction taking place. The guy always sat there from 10-5 though, just as if he was tending shop.

I will always regret not just asking what they were selling. I would assume chicken was involved somehow, but I have lost my chance forever.

108

South Boston, MA, used to have a combo donut/police supply place. There were always a couple of cop cars out front. I’m not sure if it closed - I think it might still be a donut shop, but I’m pretty sure the police supplies have gone away.

There was an little Irish grocery store in Dorchester, MA, that had about four cans of soup, some Bailey’s tea, maybe some long-expired Hob Nobs, and 2-week-old issues of various Irish newspapers on its otherwise empty shelves. There were always a lot of militant-looking people working there. I think it was a front for the IRA.

Atlanta has that famous hot dog place - the name escapes me. It’s a giant hot dog stand - oh, they do serve hamburgers too, I think, and ice cream. What’s weird is that the hot dogs are absolutely nothing special. In fact, they’re pretty bad. I think they have about 1,000 lined up at a time so when you order one, they just take it off a conveyor belt. Just plain old hot dogs on a plain old Sunbeam bun, just like you could make with a pot of boiling water at home. And the place is always jam-packed - they serve something like 5,000 hot dogs a day. I don’t see the attraction.

109

I almost forgot: the Boston area also has a chain that sells “Good Stuff Cheap” (the same motto as a different chain mentioned earlier in this thread) – Warehouse 19 and a fraction. So the stores are named Warhouse 19 & 1/2, 19 & 3/4, 19 & 5/8, etc. – a different fraction for each branch. My wife took me to one a year ago, just to see it.

They do have a very wide collection, but I don’t get it. They have random cheap stuff, very low prices. And then in the middle of the store they have expensive Persian rugs – on the order of $2000-$3000! Maybe that’s a good deal on a Persian rug, but it doesn’t seem “cheap” to me. And given that half of the rest of the store is available for $5-$10, it seems, I dunno, weird. But maybe I’m just a codger that doesn’t understand the world. :slight_smile:

110

My wife, who grew up in the Boston area, just refers to Building 19 as “fractions” and everyone knows what she is talking about. I always thought that was an odd place as well.

111

A guy up the road raises fighting cocks.

112

There is this place in my home town, where you drive up to a speaker and order your food…THEN you have to drive up to a window and pay…and get this…THEN you have to drive up to another window and pick up your food? I mean what the hell?!? That is weird!

113

Ah, the Bunghole, I know it well:) And Building 19 is another fav:)

The best name I ever saw was on Bridge Street in Salem, MA: “Abel’s Electric Shaver Repair.” Quite a niche market. And downtown Beverly MA had the “House of Auto Seat Covers.”

Wolfgirl, I think we went to school together. In fact, I think we “share” a last name.

114

Three blocks over from my house is a set of businesses, that while not odd each one to itself, as a group they seem like a real life version of “Sequential Thread Titles - The Awakening”

In a fairly crummy little one block common rental building we have the following (in order from west to east as you encounter them walking up the street):

A combo restaurant / antique shop
A saw sharpening service
A fish & aquarium store
A pool and spa sales and service shop
A fence and gate supplier
A Maytag appliance dealer

Then you get to the bus stop.

115

Oh and Cobalt, fruitbat and dinahmoe, I grew up in Hingham, Mass - right down the road from Building 19 and Building 19 1/2

… in God we Trust - all others pay cash! Those places are so cool.

116

Wow. My thread made Threadspotting. :cool:

In Joplin, MO there is a hardware store. On its shelves are tools and small kitchen appliances that look like they’ve been there since the 1970’s. Some of the boxes have dust on them.

For your hardcore hardware (nuts, bolts, nails, etc.) you have to go downstairs. The employee who works the basement is a 70-year-old man who sits there smoking a cigarette his entire shift. Tell him what you need and he’ll take a couple of drags before he goes off to find it. However, make sure you don’t go down there between 10:00-10:15 or 2:00-2:15-- that’s when he’s on his coffee break and he will not go back to work come hell or high water until he’s finished his coffee.

The hardcore hardware is scattered around the basement with no rhyme or reason that anyone can decipher. However, tell Old Smokey that you need a nine and one quarter inch double-inverted copper bling-bling hopajoo, and he’ll open up a couple of drawers and produce what you need in a matter of seconds.

But here’s the really weird part… the owner of the hardware store probably doesn’t make any money off of his hardware. Instead he makes his money off of… plastic horses. That’s right, plastic horses. He has a whole section of his store dedicated to them, and he has hundreds. They’re all about six inches tall and they come in literally scores of colors, breeds and poses. The good people of Joplin are pretty obsessive about them, too. The few times I was in there I heard several conversations that went like this:

CUSTOMER: I need Dusty Trail, Carmel Latte [I assume this was the color], #29187, right front foot up.

OWNER: Ooh, good choice. I just got a shipment of Dusty Trails in yesterday. Let me see here… I’ve got Dustry Trail, Burnt Sienna, right front foot up, #29188. Will that do?

ANOTHER CUSTOMER ON ANOTHER DAY: I need Princess Buttercup, Smoky Mountain Mist [color again], #36776.

OWNER: Well, Princess Buttercup is hard to come by these days. The mares for this season seem to focus on Dolly Madison and Sweet Jasmine, like they do every year…

and so it went.

Weird.

117

I remember a place that sold nothing but (empty) Jim Beam bottles. I know that they have their collective appeal, but enough to base a whole business on? Hmmm, wonder if the owner emptied all those bottles himself or what?

I used to go by a clothing consignment store that was never open. Racks of clothing were pushed up against the windows so you couldn’t see in and, oddly, seemed to get moved around regularly, dispite the lack of clientele. One time I decided to bring them some clothes to sell. Found out that unlike most stores that had glass doors, this one had a solid wooden one with a peephole. The door was locked and there was a sign that said to ring a doorbell for admittance. I rang but no one ever answered. Weird vibes. I’m sure the place was a front for something. The store was there for years but is now gone.

118

Not far from here there is “A Copper Glow,” a combination antique shop/ tanning salon.

119

The posts about odd cuisine combinations reminds me of a restaurant I once ate in in Towson, MD, called Guido Burrito. It was an Italian/Mexican place. Its signature dish (if you can call it that) was a burrito stuffed with spaghetti sauce and Italian sausage. Of course, I had to try it. Blecch.

120

It’s not in my area, but it’s weird. Ideal, Georgia, a flyspeck of a town out in the boonies of middle Georgia. I was there writing a story about their new city hall and library. The place was basically a dying farm town, with most of the residents retirement age. It was the sort of place you went out of town to do … anything.

There wasn’t much to the town except for a nice little historic railroad depot that had been renovated with money from a state roads program. The only sign of commercial activity was a single faded brick building that had once housed several businesses, the whitewash long ago turned a dingy gray. None of the building’s storefronts appeared to house any going concerns.

The commercial building were built on a hill sloping down from the two lane state road that ran through the middle of town, with the back end of the buidlings two stories while the front was one story. On one side of the building in the back on the bottom floor was a battered screen door. Faded letters above the door proclaimed it to be:

The Miracle Restaurant!

Crude, faded paintings of a catfish, a hamburger and a hot dog surrounded the door.

The door was locked and I couldn’t see inside. Who knows what kind of dining experience I missed there? Who knows what the nature of the miracle might be? Offhand, I’d say that it was a miracle that it existed at all.