Weird things that have happened to you in restaurants

In My Humble Opinion
21

I don’t know if this was the weirdest restaurant experience I’ve ever had, but it was definitely the funniest, at least I think so.

One afternoon about a year ago, my SO and I were out driving and decided we wanted to stop to get something to eat. We were coming up to a Charlie Browns, so she asked me to pull in there. I asked “Are you sure? It’s 3:00,” to which she nodded affirmatively. I said “Okay, but let’s order from the menu,” to which she gave me one of her ‘don’t tell me what to do’ looks.

For those of you not familiar with Charlie Browns, one of its attractions is its salad bar.

Anyway, we entered the restaurant and, after about five minutes, were seated in a booth directly perpendicular to the salad bar, which is near the center of the restaurant, and could see the patrons on both sides. My SO, salivating, headed for the salad bar, while I perused the menu.

While talking and awaiting my order, the restaurant became increasingly filled with the EBS crowd. Not my first rodeo, I sat back with a smile and a crazy look in my eyes as the hilarity I knew was coming began to ensue. :smiley:

My SO, seeing my barely contained explosion of giddiness, asked me what the heck was so funny. All I could do was turn my head in the direction of the salad bar as a signal to her to look over there, because had I actually said “look over there” I would screamed with uncontrollable laughter.

When she looked over, what she (we) saw caused her mouth to drop open in horror. A woman dropped a slice of bread on the floor, picked it up, put it back in the bread tray and took another one. Another woman dropped one of the salad tongs on the floor. The man next to her stepped on it, picked it up and put it back in the salad bowl. Another man sneezed into his bare hands and, as he began to fill his plate with greens, dropped a few leaves on the floor, some of which were kicked. He then reached down with his freshly sneezed-on hand, picked up the errant vegetation and placed it back in the bowl. Another woman tasted the salad dressing with the serving spoon and placed the spoon back in the dressing when she decided she didn’t like the taste. Well, I totally lost it. Tears were flowing from my eyes and I was actually rocking trying to keep my laughter from becoming audible. My SO, the fires of the river Styx in her eyes, walked out, leaving me in a rumpled heap of spent mirth. :slight_smile:

I paid the check and went to the car where she cold-shouldered me all the way home, but I have to tell ya, it was definitely worth it. In the year since ‘Occurrence at Charlie Browns’, my SO hasn’t availed herself of a salad bar at any restaurant, and still gets a little miffed whenever I mention it.

So, here’s a tip from me to you: If you’re in central New Jersey, on Burlington-Mount Holly road (AKA Route 541) in Mount Holly, and you see a Charlie Browns restaurant, unless you’re really, really hungry, and it’s a little after 3:00 on a Saturday, just keep driving. :wink:

22

What’s EBS?

23

Sorry. Early Bird Special.

24

I was in Spain this past August, and while in Seville I suddenly had a craving for Chinese food, which is not unusual for me, wherever I am. Lo and behold, I came upon a Chinese restaurant and went in. I was the only customer. In fact, the entire time I was there, I was the only customer.

The waitress took my order, and I sat and waited for my food. A few minutes later a man came out of the kitchen. He seemed to be the owner or manager. He held a piece of paper in front of me. The paper had many thing written on it, in English and Spanish and Chinese. He was pointing to the phrase: “NO LAMB PLEASE!” and he said something in Chinese. I said to him, “You must be mistaken; I didn’t order any lamb.” Again he pointed to “NO LAMB PLEASE!” and said something in Chinese. I repeated, “I didn’t order any lamb; I don’t know what you’re trying to tell me.” Then the waitress came over and said to me, “What does that word mean?” Then I realized they just wanted to know what the word “lamb” meant. So I said, “ba-a-a-a-a” and did a “small” gesture, and that was that.

25

Why would you come into an interesting, entertaining thread and say this?

26

Sheez! I got nuth’n compared to you guys.

Back in my early twenties me and my buddy decided to hit an all night Chinese place after spending way too much time and money at a near by boobie bar.
As we entered the restaurant the first thing we noticed were these two scantily clad Asian women sitting with a group of guys.

The whole time we kept comenting to each other how hawt they were and what we would do if only given the chance.

Much to our surprize, as if reading our minds, the two Ladies both got up together and started walking towards us! (At which point I damn near choked on my chicken chow mein)

They sat down by us and after a few minutes of chatter, (By chatter, I mean, me and my friend sat there slack jawed while the girls told us how handsome and cute we were) they basicaly asked us if we wanted a happy ending with our meal!!

I declined. Not because I wanted to take the moral high road because I didn’t; I spent all my money at the boobie bar!! DAMN YOU BOOBIES!! <shakes fist>

27

I was going to say the same thing. I’ve barely even set foot in New Jersey in my life and I knew exactly what those were. Probably from watching too many college football games.

28

Still don’t get it. Sounded to me like some inmates from the asylum were given afternoon leave and wandered over to the salad bar and commenced their shenanigans. Is there something about this “EBR” crowd which ensures that they act in restaurants like total drooling tards? And how did Onomatopoeia know beforehand that they would do those nasty things?

29

Old people.

30

There were quite a few things about that story I didn’t quite get. I understood what he meant by the EBS crowd, but the reaction of his wife seemed a bit odd.

31

Having worked in a similar restaurant, specifically on the salad bar, I’ll say that we didn’t have an Early Bird Special, but I can guess from my experience that those specials bring out some less-well-behaved customers, and crowding seems to just intensify bad behaviors. (I think it’s something about it not being worth as much to you if you don’t pay as much.) I didn’t see anything quite so nasty in my time working on cleaning and refilling the buffet, but then again I wasn’t out there the whole shift, and I think most customers would rein in their more disgusting behavior if there’s someone standing right there.

That being said, I have seen some awful stuff even at a regular-priced buffet:

  • Kids sneezing under the sneeze guard - they’re too short for it to work for them.
  • Occasionally, adults trying to stick their head under the sneeze guard to get a better look at the food. Either bring a scoop up to eye level or wear your glasses!
  • People moving aside the tongs to grab food with their hands.
  • People knocking down tongs/spoons onto the floor and trying to put them back in the food.
  • Tasting directly from the buffet, though I don’t recall any spoon-in-the-mouth incidents. Mostly hand or finger into the food.
  • Using “used” plates to get more food, which wasn’t allowed under health code rules.

What could I do? Intercept when able, but politely (we were not allowed to make the customers mad so you had to be diplomatic), replace utensils with clean ones, take dirty plates and point out the stack of clean ones, try to remove any food considered “contaminated” without dumping the whole lot, and generally be enough of a “presence” to embarrass people into not acting like animals.

It’s not always successful. Worst event was probably the near-fistfight in the long buffet line on Mother’s Day. We fortunately had burly managers who were out there in a second to pull the two guys apart.

On preview, I don’t get the wife’s reaction either, unless she loved salad bars/buffets and was becoming squeamishly ill at the thought of how many she’d gone to previously.
My weirdest restaurant experience that I can recall was going to a hole-in-the-wall Thai joint near the Hotel Nikko in San Francisco. The kitchen was open and up front behind a counter, and the restaurant was crammed with little tables. My husband and I went in shortly before noon and were a little disturbed to be sitting there - because the TV in the eating area was playing Teletubbies. The only other person eating appeared to be one of the workers. We were worried that everyone else “knew” this was a strange/bad place and that we’d made a mistake going there. Minutes later the local lunch crowd, a mix of businessmen and construction workers, hit the joint and filled it up. No commentary about the choice of television viewing from what we heard, but at least it was only slightly surreal then.

32

The SO’s a little overly germ phobic, although she strongly denies it. I’ve tested my thesis a number of times and, yeah, she is :).

I’d been to that particular Charlie Browns during the EBS on a previous occasion, and swore I’d never go back, but when the SO decided to eat there against my admittedly weak suggestion to try someplace else, I must admit I got a little tingly with anticipation…and anyway, what was I supposed to do? She was hungry. :slight_smile:

I guess you had to be there, but it did not disappoint. I still find it hilarious, and I retell the story at every opportunity, especially in her presence. :smiley:

33

Yep, exactly, and how she’d never partake at another one again in this life. :slight_smile:

I have been laughing almost non stop since I posted the experience here last night. Oh, man. It just never gets old for me. :smiley: I can’t wait to get home tonight so she can log in here and read it :D:D:D:D:D:D

34

Rutgers grad, 1989. Back in the day, the Grease Trucks (at least one of them) had what they called a “Fat Cat” sandwich. This heavenly concoction was an over-stuffed, multi-patty cheeseburger on a hoagie roll. The special version came a with a fried egg on top. Not sure if it morphed into a Fat Sandwich over the years, or something completely different.

35

From Ferret Herder’s post above:

  • Using “used” plates to get more food, which wasn’t allowed under health code rules.

Why is using one’s own “used” plate to get more food considered unhealthy? Sorry for the bit of a hijack.

36

My weirdest restaurant experience happened at a McDonald’s off a highway in Tennessee (I know, just barely a restaurant…). I was on a road trip with my family to visit relatives in Florida, and we were all hungry, hence the stopping.

We walk in, order our food, sit down, and start eating. At a booth in the back, there is a guy dressed entirely in acid wash denim, head to toe. He starts to loudly throw a fit about how his burger was not what he wanted, and proceeds up to the counter, elbowing aside a young pregnant woman with a baby on her hip who was waiting for her order. Once at the counter, he continues to be obnoxious and whine and complain, refusing the manager’s attempts to get him what he originally wanted. At this point, the woman with the baby suggests that maybe he calm down. All this does is focus his attention on her, and she doesn’t have a counter to hide behind.

At this point, everyone in the place is staring at the unfolding scene with wide eyes. Well, just as denim-guy gets going on both the manager and the woman-with-baby, one of the single largest (girth-wise) men I have ever seen in my life gets up from another booth, screaming about how denim-guy is not to “yell at my woman”. Things are truely getting out of hand at this point, and I begin wrapping up my now-finished meal (casually, of course) and heading for the trash can/door, all while quietly urging my family to do the same. As my back is turned, I hear a scraping and clanging sound, and turn back around. Denim-guy has picked up a chair and is waving it above his head, all while still yelling. Denim-guy is yelling, big-guy is yelling, baby-lady is yelling, the manager is trying (very unsuccessfully) to diffuse the situation… I quickly removed myself from the building and stood by the car. My family followed me out about 10 seconds later. Just before we left, a police car pulled in, and we got to see denim-guy getting wrestled out of the restaurant (still yelling) by a couple of cops.

I have repeatedly sworn that if I ever go past that particular exit again, I will keep going, even if I am in dire need of a bathroom. It was like exiting the highway into the twilight zone where Jerry Springer exists.

37

People put their utensils in their mouth, which then touch them the food on their plate, by definition. When they refill their plates, people often place the bottom of the spoon on their plate to support it and prevent splashing while putting it on their plate. It touches all the food that just touched their mouth, and then goes right back into the bulk container.

38

They can contaminate the food at the service table with diseases off the plate. It’s a good health regulation.

39

:D:D:D

Okay, okay. I’m done. Whew! :smiley:

40

1991, New York City. I was out with my then-GF. We were at a small Italian place in the upper East side, where the tables for 2 are small and about an inch apart from each other. We were seated next to a table where a woman was eating by herself. Eventually she finishes her meal and leaves.

Out of the corner of my eye, I notice her paper napkin, which she had tossed on the table when she left, was sort of draped over the votive candle in the middle of the table, and had just caught fire. I stood up to put it out and in the span of about 2.4 seconds, most of the napkin was alight. The table “cloth” was also paper, over a real cloth tablecloth, so I was envisioning the whole table going up in flames, then ours, then the rest of the joint.

I was trying unsuccessfully to pick up the napkin by the non-flaming corner to try and stuff it in her abandoned half-filled water glass, then realizing that doing so would burn my hand, was clumsily trying to sort of pick it up with two forks. The whole place had quieted down to watch the clown dance around with the forks and the flaming napkin.

From the far end of the row of tables, a young woman stood up, walked in a determined fashion toward me with a glass of water, and upon reaching the table, tossed the water at the napkin. It was a direct hit, the fire was out in an instant. The rest of the water flew past the napkin, and the table, and doused my shoes. She turned and walked quickly back to her table and sat down.

So there I stood, wet of foot and bereft of pride in successfully averting certain disaster, while the ordinary cacophany of an Italian restaurant once again resumed. I sat and we quickly finished our meal and left.