Ok, so in 2004 I wil be heading to Uni, hopefully being able to reach my full potential, and finally leaving home, I’m not saying its going to be easy but it will be an experience to remember, anyway that aside, I have this weird thing going on with my family, although they say they don’t mind me leaving home, at the *very very * last minute, say things in which I feel guilty and stay at home…
How do I not let them be bothered by me leaving? And what do I do to make myself less guilty of leaving?
Just go and don’t look back. They will think what they will think, and there’s not much you can do to stop it. If you need to leave home to attend Uni, you just have to go, let the family be, and if they try to get you back be prepared to resist. (I’m not saying that will happen, but be prepared nonetheless.)
I wish you the best when you do depart for Uni!
That would be called manipulation. Don’t let them get away with it; in fact, call them on it. Going to Uni is a perfectly normal thing for you to do, and you have to leave home sometime. Just tell them that you don’t love them any less, but you have to go–bye! And then actually walk out the door. (I use the word ‘just’ as in ‘do only one or two things,’ not ‘this is easy.’)
Or you can try pointing out the manipulation, and announcing that any conversations which turn manipulative are going to be over. Just walk away whenever they do it–leave if you’re on your way out, hang up the phone, whatever. A similar tactic works well on one or two people I know.