Once, when I was about 9 or so and my brother was 7, my parents took us to visit my grandparents in a small farming town in Sask. My brother and I are out playing in the front yard, and my parents & grandparents are sitting in the living room which comes equipped with a large window. Good idea, right? Parents can keep an eye on us as we play.
So, my bro and I get into gramps garage and find a shotgun. We decide to play cops and robbers. I can only imagine what is running through my parents’ heads as they see me run by the window screaming “Help! Help!” and then watch my 7 year old brother chase me down with a shotgun.
Needless to say, THAT got them outside pretty frickin’ quick.
I took my daughter in for a checkup after her arm had healed from a playground monkey-bar incident. I had on one of those bras that unhook at the top of the cups so you can criss-cross the straps with certain shirts. Well, one of the straps had come unhooked while I was in the waiting room, and I was feeling decidedly…lopsided. The nurse took us to an examination room, told us that the doctor would be with us shortly, and shut the door. Thinking I had plenty of time, I put my arms inside my shirt, pulled my bra down around my waist, and started trying to fix the problem. Well, when the nurse said “shortly”, she meant it! I had no sooner gotten the bra down when the doctor comes into the room without so much as a knock. I just nonchalantly slid my arms back out of my sleeves, crossed them over my chest, and prayed that my bra wasn’t hanging out of the bottom of my shirt. I actually wasn’t able to fix the problem until after he’d examined her and we checked out. I still don’t know if my bra was hanging out, and I’m happy in my ignorance.
Freeze-drying is the way to go, man. With boiling, you wil probably start burning those nitrogen-rich compounds before all the liquid is gone. It won’t smell too nice.
Not so much weird as distinctly unexplainable to the witness: I took my then three-year-old daughter with me to a bead store where I did occasional sales. Normally, I did not take her, because she was three, and the store was full of baskets of beads just BEGGING to be tipped onto the floor and played with. She was an angel - we were in there for almost an hour and she didn’t touch anything and she didn’t interrupt once. She was so well-behaved. So as we left the store, I reached out and ruffled her hair and said, “Honey, I am SO proud of you.” Just as I touched the top of her little head, she tripped over her shoelace and went flying to the pavement. I picked her up to console her and saw the store owner looking at me through the large storefront window in total horror. I suddenly realized that it looked for all the world as though I had shoved the poor kid to the ground.
I took her back into the store, partly to give her a chance to catch her breath, but I admit, mostly to explain that it really WAS an accident!
When I was 5 or so I went to a public swimming pool with a neighbor and her daughter. I had this old pair os swimming trunks that were to tight and I had to squeeze into. Well, time came to go home so I’m carrying all my clothes in a bundle to the changing room and I get inside, take of my trunks and look, no undies. Well, I didn’t want to put on the too-tight trunks again and I couldn’t put my pants on without undies, so I ran outside, found the missing drawers, returned and put 'em on. Must have been an interesting show for some of the folks.
Noooo!!! Don’t do it!!! The urine will start to burn, as you drop down towards almost no water in the pot, and you’ll have a gawdawful smell in the kitchen!