I gotta admit, Desk Monkey wins. But I think anybody who ever got to witness a birth deserves some points in the yucky pool. Yeah, yeah, it’s a wonderous event, what a miracle, blah, blah, blah. But you want to talk about copious quantities of bodily fluids coming out of odd places, this is the place to be. I won’t even go into the details of witnessing an episiotomy up close and personal.
Special operation for a large local museum. Cemetery excavation so a townhouse development could go in. The idea was, if a coroner did the excavation, he would check the historical record (18 graves), get a backhoe and produce 18 little bags of matter, and fill out all the paperwork. Well, if this museum did it (in trade for studying the bones for a year) they would work with local archeologists and really set the record straight. Sure enough there were 26 graves. The very last day the cast iron coffin was uncovered. The lid was still on, and the next few moments were a blur. The backhoe moved the heavy lid and an indescribable odor about knocked everybody down. The physical anthropologist in charge was so excited he stuck his bare arm into the coffin “…textile preservation! and we’ve got good tissue!..” then he blanched and yanked his smelly arm out (water had breached the casket many years ago: the occupant had died of prob. smallpox in 1902)and ran for the hose. Gross! The genetic chemist on staff ran petri smears on the casket juice. She said she grew some things she had never seen before.
OK, the tally so far:
dustMagnate’s water-breached coffin.
DeskMonkey’s teenie diaper.
I’ll vote 'em co-winners. Blech. I think maybe I’d rather stick my arm in the coffin.
DeskMonkey, it wasn’t at my house, it was over at my brother’s apartment, and it was his roommate. Marco, the roomie, was quite the juicer, and had, among other things, cirrhosis of the liver. The guy was yellow, with a bulging liver. He couldn’t take it anymore, and tried to do himself in as I’m giving him the standard “It’ll be alright” bullshit. We got an ambulance, but he kicked off the next day in the hospital.
The best part of all was that when my brother and I finally got to our parents’ house, everyone had already started eating the birthday dinner my mother cooked for me. They got tired of waiting, and man, did my mother lay into me for being late. So I told everyone what happened, as they were eating, and I started to hear the sound of forks as they were dropped on plates. Good times.
If Zette sees this ask her about her “Scope” story 
Yes. I flushed my favorite watch down the toilet. I flushed and accidently knocked my watch in. I was at my boyfriend’s house and thought “He’s going to be mad at me for messing up his plumbing”, but the watch popped back out after the flushing was complete. It was just sitting at the bottom of the toilet. I panicked. I couldn’t leave it there. What to do? I called my BF into the bathroom and explained what happened and he put on some rubber gloves and pulled my watch out. And it still worked! But I didn’t want to wear it again, even though it was my favorite. 
Mine’s not too yucky, but in lunch at school the kids sometimes mix all this crap (bread, milk, peas, pizza, you name it) in an empty/half empty bottle of soda and shake it up until it turns some putrid shade of… well, something, depending on the food mixed in. Then they’d drink it. While everyone around them is still eating. It’s bad enough to see that chunky discolored liquid/almost solid stuff inside the bottle, but God, they have to drink it too. I don’t know if they still do it though, cause my grade gets to sit outside for lunch now.
I’m sitting at my desk one day, and I hear some custodians moving things out of the old lab next door to prepare it for conversion into a different kind of lab. Suddenly I hear lots of cursing, retching, and quick footsteps…then the smell hit me and I got outside quick.
Turns out they had been moving an old meat refrigerator (long unplugged) and made the mistake of opening it to see what was inside - they found piles of decaying human shinbones. They had been used in biomechanics experiments to measure strains under certain kinds of loads.