A breathalyzer on a telephone. My dead ex’s widow has had some…er…issues with anger. Like she buried an axe in a boyfriend’s face once. And now she was recently in jail for running her new husband over with her truck. So she’s out of jail, but she said they’re putting a breathalyzer on her telephone so she can’t drink at all.
She lives in Colorado. Has anyone ever heard of this before? I guess I’m not surprised, but I’ve never heard of this kind of monitoring.
Why the telephone? Will it not work or something if she’s been hitting the booze?
Its probably just a step towards a court order of 100% sobriety. If shes been drinking and uses the phone - she`s busted.
WAG, it will allow the monitoring company to call her up and do a breathalyzer test while talking to her. Although it seems she could just talk on a different extension and let someone sober blow through the breathalyzer.
Maybe she has to call in somewhere one or more times a day? Like here, if you’re busted on drug charges, you have to call every day to see if you have to come and drop. ??
Interesting. I could see three ways around this:
Daniel
Breathalyzers require that you blow a fair amount of air into them. Putting one in your telephone sounds like a Maxwell Smart device. Someone is full of it, or seriously confused.
I can imagine that some company markets software that analyzes changes in speech patterns for particular individuals. You could record their speech when you know they’re sober and then look for certain changes. However, I don’t think I believe in that, either.
Can you imagine some poor bastard going out with this woman on a blind date?
p.s. I live in CO, and I never heard of this phone breathalyzer. (Or is it a phoney breathalyzer?)
I’ve never heard of that, but my uncle had a device in his house to prevent him from drinking. It was a breathalizer with a camera mounted on top. At random times, the police would call him and tell him to blow in the tube. As he did, the device would take his picture and send it digitally to the cops, along with the results of the breathalizer test. He also had to be home every day from 7pm-7am, so he could go to work, but nowhere else.
Maybe it was something like that?
It should connect her to some telemarketers.
My mother was bipolar, and an alcoholic, which led to some “interesting” phone calls over the years. My first thought was, great, something like that could stop drunken calls. A limited market, perhaps, but I’ll bet my siblings would have chipped in to get her one.
hmmm…if not for the fact that you have “siblingS”, I would wonder if you were related to me!
Well, this girl is a complete train wreck to begin with. Her life is so beyond fucked up, I can’t believe she’s actually not behind bars for the next 20 year or so. But this is what she told my husband’s ex-wife. She’s a very crazy drunk (hence, the axe in the boyfriend’s face – took his eye out and just missed his brain by “this much”).
I think the idea behind it was that she’d have to check in every day (or maybe a couple times a day). But it could be circumvented so easily, it just doesn’t seem possible. Unless it’s the same thing as Alias’s uncle’s machine. That would be the only way it could work. I’m dying to find out more.
Her son is going into the Marines on the 24th. He called me to say goodbye. I thought maybe he could fill me in on the details, but they don’t have much contact. I’d have to actually call her to get the scoop, and my curiousity just isn’t that strong at the moment.
I just want to make sure I have the dynamic right here…
Your dead ex’s widow was telling your current husband’s ex-wife?
Is that right?
Wow what a wild circle if it is! 
uhh i think “boyfriend” was in relation to the psycho’s booyfriend.
Its really not that complicated.
Jersey
In the OP she says that it’s her dead ex’s widow that attacked [the dead ex’s widow’s] boyfriend. In her last post she said that the widow was telling her husband’s ex-wife…
I wasn’t even going to TRY to fit an eyeless boyfriend into the equation.
Okay…follow along (if you dare):
Me and Ex (and child)
Ex’s sister and Mr. Kalhoun (no children) (Ex’s sister is my kid’s aunt)
Everyone breaks up
Me and Mr. Kalhoun are now together
Ex and my babysitter are now together
Me and Ex’s sister (who is also Mr. Kalhoun’s ex) are best friends
Ex has child with babysitter (Ex’s sister is also the aunt to this kid. This kid is my kid’s half-brother)
Ex dies
Babysitter/widow/Axe murderer is mental case and loses custody of kid.
Ex’s sister (a.k.a. Mr. Kalhoun’s ex) and I take special interest in the poor kid.
Kid calls me Aunt Kalhoun and calls me to let me know he’s going into Marines.
I tell Mr. Kalhoun’s ex. She tries to find out more info, thereby having bizarre “phone breathalyzer” conversation with widow.
That is where it stands.
Sheesh…I’m exhausted…I better take a nap!
Oops…almost forgot…
Cue the banjo music!
Ha! Your own episode of Jerry Springer (minus the rasslin, of course). Cool 
Hmph. I think Jarrod/Jersey should eat his snarky words.
Yeah…it really doesn’t feel as “trailer park” as it sounds. We all have indoor plumbing and jobs ‘n’ shit. Although the ex and the nutcase didn’t for quite some time. I believe it was quite acceptable in Murray, KY to not have indoor plumbing in the late '80s/early '90s.