I find this whole thing incredibly insulting. What, fatherhood is less important than motherhood?
Personally, I always preferred my Baby Bjorn over my stroller - easier to get around with, and better exercise for me.
When I first heard this story, I thought it was from The Onion. It wasn’t.
There’s an admittedly fine line between the beautiful bond between mother and infant and the weird gratification some women get from breast-feeding in inappropriate and exhibitionistic ways. Not sure where the line is, but I’m pretty sure I recognize when someone has crossed it.
I know someone who weaned her first at 1yo; she was still nursing the second one (Mommy’s favorite) at 5. When the pediatrician told her it was time to stop it, she said “but she asks for milk when we put her to bed!” “So do you give her tit every time she asks for milk, or only at night?” “No, only at night” “Then why are you so sure it’s tit she wants, and not boxed milk? A kid who can write her own name shouldn’t be nursing. If you like your nipples sucked, let your husband do it” “But that’s disgusting! I don’t let my husband touch my tits!” “…my friend, I’m now officially surprised you ever got pregnant…”
Maybe they’re trying to get some additional readers by coming up with a crossover with Game of Thrones.
Tell the truth li’l man. Are you, uh… are you hittin’ that? [/Aries Spears]
It’s important that a magazine like Time keep abreast of the latest trends.
(G,D & R)
Yeah, the kid gets nothing out of it. :rolleyes:
Heaven forbid somebody does something you wouldn’t do!
“Now, Timmy. . .unless you’ve brought enough for the whole class. . .”
All the rolly-eyes! And words put in my mouth! What a way to start a Friday! :rolleyes:
The health benefits of breast feeding are measurable, sure. I am all for it. I wanted my son to be breast fed, and fortunately he was even though it was difficult.
That said, I think most of the benefits of breats milk apply to infants. By the time a kid is pushing 4, I doubt that his immune system needs a boost from breast milk.
I didn’t say it was sick or disgusting. And I wouldn’ta said shit if the article was about breast feeding 2 year-olds. This kid is pushing 4.
Has nothing to do with someone doing something I wouldn’t do. The list of activities that falls into that category is long and varied, and I don’t have a problem with most of them.
Does the kid get something out of it? Well, I’m sure he does. The question is, does he get more out of it than he would get with kind words and a hug? With just a bedtime story like a regular kid? I tend to doubt it.
I don’t remember her exact words, but the mom said that when she was breast fed at that age, she felt, so safe, warm. etc. and felt like her mother would never leave her. Frantastic, but I felt the same way towards my mother when I was 4 or 5, so I don’t that experience is unique to children who were breast fed until kindergarten.
Which leads me to what I do have a problem with…and simply re-stating my point. I think that most of this is for the mother’s benefit. I personally know of one instance of this, and in that case it was the mother who was unable to let it go…I don’t know if that applies in this instance or in all cases, but I suspect it does to some degree.
Will it mess the kids head up? I donno. It’s normal to him now; eventually he’s going to realize that he’s the only one (that he is aware of) that breast fed that long. IOW, there’s a greater chance of him having issues because of the extended nursing, whereas he could possibly gain similar benefits through simple good, supportive parenting.
I hated this cover as soon as I saw it, in part because it so clearly intends to stir up just the kind of ignorant, perverted, and obnoxious jibes featured in this thread. Mothers who nurse their 3yos don’t typically do it in public anymore, and they certainly don’t do it standing and making eye contact while their kid stands on a stool. The cover says, “See, look at the freaks, aren’t they being freaky?” while also deliberately bringing prurience into the picture by deliberately using a pretty, young, skinny blond woman as the subject.
If anyone actually cares to learn about nursing older children, rather than projecting their own sexual issues and assumptions, I would be happy to answer more questions, or you can check out my old thread on the subject, or the article I coincidentally just wrote about nursing my kids till they were four.
I don’t mind non-hateful jokes - the pizza comment, Eve’s joke, and the Bitty video all crack me up. It’s just this unseemly interest in other people’s practices, joined with a smug, “I know all about their gross motivations and what they really should be doing” attitude that make me stabby.
Biggest example - anyone holding forth on how moms do this solely for their own gratification - please do tell me how many extended-nursing moms you’ve known personally and how you gathered that information. Because I know a lot of them, and almost to a person, they are happy when their kid decides to wean, and find nursing an older child to be pretty damn annoyinga lot of the time, but they don’t see enough benefit to weaning to force the issue.
Pray tell, Sicks Ate, how you know the mom was nursing only for herself, and please do share how she managed to force an unwilling three year old to nurse - that’s certainly a new one on me!
Jesus Breastfeeding Christ, the words being put into my mouth today! I never said that she had to force the kid to feed…though the last link you posted does give that exact example; mom has to make the kid sit still and nurse, because all toddler wants to do is run off an do gymnastics.
And I think you have absolutely no way of knowing that. Why do you think your uninformed opinion on this matter should be given any more credence than anything else people pull out of their asses on this MB?
The problem with this story is not the breastfeeding. The problem is that this mother allowed her 3-year-old to be on the cover of a national magazine and he’ll probably be teased about this for the rest of his life. Thanks, mom!
I don’t. Give it as little credence as you like. People post plenty of crap, I don’t think it necessarily means that just because they (or I) mean it that you must give it credence.
And you don’t see how this kind of helps nudge my point along? Mom put herself on the cover of Time breastfeeding her toddler (let’s quit calling him 3…he’s pretty much 4). Was this for his benefit? Nope. Did she get a lot of attention for it? Ayup. Will he be teased about it? Maybe/probably.
Still can’t shake the feeling that a lot of this nursing toddler stuff is about Mom, see.
Love that video. My father-in-law sent it to my wife because our son breastfed until he was… wait for it… 5. :eek::eek::eek:
He’s 8 now and has no significant issues – my son, I mean (grandpa, umm, yeah, a few issues there). Very secure. Never seeks out attention. Has lots of friends. He’s incredibly considerate and thoughtful. Above average intelligence (per his report card, Mostly Exceeds Expectations in an accelerated private school). He never lies or even exaggerates, even when honesty may get him into trouble. He doesn’t like scary shows or movies, he stays up too late, loves candy, won’t try new foods and he always wants to sleep in our bed (we did that too when he was a baby; I don’t advise it). He took his first step on his first birthday (did somebody think there was actually a correlation between breastfeeding and first steps?). He likes watching Mythbusters but doesn’t notice the freaky/fetishistic themes (the way his dad does).
We wanted to stop when he was three (as was suggested by the people at La Leche League, which my wife got involved in), but we’re softer/bigger procrastinators than most parents, so it dragged on. My wife was very worried he would want a subscription to Juggs Maggazine or something freaky and asked everyone she came across that was involved with late breastfeeding kids (both adults and kids), how they turned out, etc. and didn’t find one maladjusted subject.
This myth has been busted! 
YMMV, but I’d be willing to bet not by much.
This age doesn’t bother me so much. But I did see the video about the British mom mentioned and that did bother me. Not so much for what the woman said–it was typical “hippy-dippy” stuff. But for the way the children reacted. They seemed to have a full on fetish for their mom’s breasts. And their obsession with their mom’s milk was almost like that of an addict. Surely it’s not controversial to see that as a problem.
As for the Time cover–yeah, it’s designed to be provocative. But I don’t really think four is too long as long as it’s truly the child wanting it, and doesn’t have a fetishistic or addict like response.
But you do have to realize that breast feeding does cause an increase in oxytocin, a feel good hormone. While I know most moms don’t seem overly enamored with it doesn’t mean it might not be overly pleasant for some people. You need to make sure you are objective in this. And a specific stopping time is one way to accomplish this.
Waiting on the child to stop isn’t objective–at that age they pick up their cues on what to do from what the parents like.
I’m so angry that Dr. Sears is getting all of this attention. I wish the man would just fade into the woodwork or fall into a wood chipper.
If any attachment parenting practices work for you, I encourage you to stick with it. Parenting is hard and every parent/child combo needs to do it differently.
What burns my biscuits is the way Dr. Sears (and La Leche League) try to scare and guilt and shame people into doing things their way, which is the hardest way possible. Breastfeeding RUINED my relationship with my daughter while I kept trying to do it. Co-sleeping and baby-carrying would never have worked. And at twelve months, she freaking loved to go to daycare and be away from mommy for a while and meet new people and do new things. Unfortunately, I’ve got Dr. Sears and hordes of judgy-judgy-judging AP followers turning up their noses and telling me my kid will be a stupid, fat, asthmatic bully because of my parenting choices. Also that I’m selfish and unloving.
You’re worried about an 11-month-old not walking? Huh?
I have memories from age 2. I think I am glad I don’t remember nursing.
Which is to say, I think when you get to the point that the kid might have memories of the event as an adult, IMO you shouldn’t still be nursing.
Then why didn’t you stop? You act as though it’s not your choice. I really don’t care too much what weird things people what to do with their kids so long as they are not too harmful, but why make it seem like it was a decision made under duress? Why not just own the decision, consequences, and resultant judgment?
I promise you that when your kid is older all of this stuff seems like way less of a big, fat, hairy deal. And I bet that the judgy judgy people aren’t actually following you around and knocking on your door so my advice is to just ignore them. If they’re on Facebook, defriend them. Don’t go to their websites. Don’t spend so much time and energy worrying about what other people think of your parenting. I know it’s hard when your kid is a baby and you’re in the thick of the Mommy Piranha Pool but really, it’s not worth worrying over.
The baby-wearing and breastfeeding was easier for me than the alternative so that’s what I went with. It’s not easier for everyone. Do what works for you. Love your kid. Raise her right. That’s what matters.