This is making me sad.
Perhaps I should have taken a longer break…
Duck Duck Goose,
As someone who has been following this mess, and weighed in near the end of the prior mess, trying to be helpful (I hope), I have some thoughts.
I think that the issue is not one of substance, but of tone. To use you commune analogy, picking up coffee cups is not in itself annoying, but the attitude with which they are picked up could be. For instance (and this is not an analogy to how I see you being on the boards), if the hypothetical visitor looked down her nose and sniffed at all of the “slovenly” residents each time she picked up a cup, can’t you see how that might become annoying to the residents. Another illustration of this type of thing is in the many threads complaining about when a mother-in-law gives gifts that seem to contain a subtle message that the son/daughter-in-law isn’t keeping a proper house or raising the grandchildren correctly.
Where I see the issue is that when you post on board-related topics or with you google results, your posts tend to have the tone of having found THE ANSWER. We’re all toiling here in the fight against ignorance, and some of us, by training or experience, are better equipped to fight certain types of ignorance than others. It’s very useful to get links in a question thread that provide background or even answer the question. However, when someone who knows the intricacies of the subject, and sees that there may be more to the answer than can be found on a linked general information webpage, it can be annoying when that webpage is posted as having answered the question. Perhaps if you prefaced your posts with “I found these links that might be helpful” or the like, rather than suggesting that the links answer the question, it might come off as less irritating, particularly in those instances when there is a bit more out there than what is found in the links.
Similarly, with when faced with questions of board policy or procedure, perhaps you should try to answer with “what I’ve observed is,” or “I’m not a mod but I think,” or otherwise make clear that you’re posting based on your status as an interested observer, not an official answer source. Then, if it should happen that the mods/admins come to a different answer (which it usually does not), they don’t have to correct the impression that someone with authority made an incorrect statement.
I think because you realize that the vast majority of the time you provide accurate and effective answers, you can get a little touchy the few times you miss. If you come into this with the attitude that you’re just providing your personal research or views without implying that there is any further authority behind what you’re posting (unless, of course, we’re talking about something within your particular areas of expertise or experience), you’ll avoid the incidental bits of annoyance you sometimes accidentially cause.
Threads like this make the baby Guinastasia cry.
I didn’t even originally open the first pit thread. The title didn’t appeal to me and there were already tons of posts. I assumed that people were googleing the mods and posting links to smutty sites about the mods and I have no desire to any of the mods naked. (except Tuba Diva)
DDG has on a few occasions come back and post links that I looked for and couldn’t find. I am amazed by her searching skills. The only annoyance is that I couldn’t find those damn things after searching for an hour and she did in about 5 min.
So I’m with the Duck
Yeah, but not for the reasons you’re thinking of, Hastur.
Your google links and search suggestions have always been appreciated by me DDG. I sometimes find myself getting a bit too involved in the SDMB and at those times it’s useful to step back and realize this is just another message board, a good one to be sure, with lots of neat people, but it’s still just a board. I think some people enjoy picking on you because you are earnest, hardworking and maybe a little too sensitive for your own good ,and if people poke you enough they know they can get a huge rise out you. You’re a big target so to speak.
You don’t have to justify yourself to anybody. People participate in this board for lots of different reasons and your advanced google parsing skills have helped many, many people with questions that would otherwise have been unanswered or incompletely answered.
To be honest the level of cattiness toward you is sort of surprising. It’s like you’re the hardworking eager beaver that the other cool girls are making fun of and throwing pencils at, but you ignore them and keep working, but then when the teacher/mod comes in and also gives you a lecture it can be disheartening and somewhat humilating given how hard you work to help people. You’re a credit to the board and while you might well have the perfect right to get aggrieved at some of the kicks aimed in your direction, you do need to divorce DDG the SDMBer and your real life ego as a human being, mother, wife, entity.
Buck up! I think you’re cool.
I never bothered to read the thread that spawned this one, and now having done so, I’m officially appalled at the viciousness and sheer venom spewed on DDG, who for my money is an intelligent, interesting poster who in no way merited the nastiness unleashed upon her.
And Hastur, shut up, ypou hateful queen. Gah! Have you forgotten that not all that long ago you were the recipient of a lot of compassion and good thoughts after your boyfriend dumped you? And yet here you are stepping with both feet on DDG, who has never done you nor anyone a speck of harm. You need to walk away from the computer, look into a mirror and think about the hateful, unpleasant, snide, and bitter person you have become. One would think that your travails would have taught you compassion, not to take a cackling delight in other’s woes.
There’s a reason why you are unpopular.
{{{Guin}}}
Y’know, I think we need a song to calm the ruffled feathers.
Everyone get their glass of warm milk and their prozac, and we’ll have a song before nap time.
[lullabye]
Hush little posters,
Don’t be hurt,
Hastur’s gonna give you some measured words.
If you want to suffer fools,
don’t expect me to go along with you.
If you want to kiss some ass,
Hastur’s the mower and you are the grass.
This is the pit and it isn’t nice,
perhaps another forum would be your choice.
DDG is whining and so are you,
here’s a suggestion of what to do:
The damage of your lives might be quite great,
but in context with the board it doesn’t rate.
We’ve all had crap and such is life,
it doesn’t make excuses for creating board strife.
So don’t be a victim and whine, my dear,
DDGs pitting was deserved and very clear.
So draw attention away from the truth,
and get sympathetic posters to agree with you.
Deflect the truth with sob stories,
not everyone will sympathize with thee.
Some of us will see right through that line,
but you will rely on it everytime.
[/lullabye]
Now go to sleep my sweet darlings.
Night-night.
DDG, FWIW, I’ve never had a problem with you and I’ve never noticed the trends or problems other folks have pointed out (aside from the googling thing, of course, and since you usually have clarifiying or qualifying text with it, I’ve never thought twice about it because you’re clearly not just slapping down links without thinking). I agree with most of what you’ve posted here. This place wouldn’t be the same without you (and I mean that in a good way).
But you keep hammering away at Coldfire, and I think it’s a bit unwarranted. I don’t think his intent was to pile on. Here’s the way I saw it: He made his first post in that thread. You asked him to back up what he said. He tried, and it didn’t satisfy you. Somewhere in there Uke posts a non related innocuous post (sort of important, to me, because as a Mod, he wasn’t denying or disagreeing with anything Coldie had said). Then, near the end of the Coldfire/DDG spat, Lynn chimes in and, as far as I’m concerned, indirectly backs up what Coldfire has said.
Yet you keep hammering away at him. His answer of “situations where the answers aren’t so clear cut” pretty much sucks, but oh well. His claim of not being alone seems valid. If it were me, I’d do my best to make them happy, and if it comes up again I’d say “I tried, but it looks like now I’m gonna need specifics.” Just my opinion.
Because I’m not a sycophantic toady who is willing to recant a perception because a sob story was posted?
puts hand to forehead
Oh, how shall I ever survive without popularity?
Woe is me.
With lots of my womansperm! That’s how!
Well, it makes me sad because I only read that whole nasty trainwreck last night-mostly with my lower jaw hanging somewhere in the vicinity of my knees.
I like jar and I like DDG. However, I have noticed in the past few months that you, DDG, just seem a little short with folks. I mean, more than usual, and I just wondered if something was bothering you. Because I noticed that last month, when I started the whiniest of Pit whines, and was piled on-and rightfully so. And I thought-you know, maybe you just need to sit back, take a deep breath, and relax. I think the mods did and do have a point. It’s not your being helpful, it’s the way you do so, that sometimes comes across as a bit snarky. Now, that doesn’t mean you do it intentionally, but just that’s how you are. I’m like that myself sometimes.
Hastur, please just chill.
Hmmmn.
I think I am chilled. If I were any more chilled, I think I would be a cadaver.
Then… I think the wrong element would be attracted to me.
Ick.
But thank you for your kind suggestion.
Duck Duck GooseI believe billdojust summed up my feelings exactly and perhaps the feelings of many others here.
As much as someone may appreciate a little help with tidying up the house and keeping the general order of the place, no one likes to be made to feel like they are lazy, ignorant, ungrateful slobs IN THEIR OWN HOUSE by someone who has NO MORE AUTHORITY than they do.
I’ve been pitted and didn’t like it much at all but I did learn a few things from the ordeal. Perhaps there is a learning opportunity for you as well.
I think you are expecting a bit much.
This thread isn’t about what DDG learned. It is about deflecting responsibility.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, I get it now…
I hope you go on being you DDG, because despite what you’ve said about the same types of people at other message boards, I don’t think we’ll ever be able to replace the real you. Despite the rocky road in our history which I regret, You are one of a very few posters that I can not resist taking the time to read every post that I’m aware of. Hell, I’ll say it, I love ya.
No, but it is hysterically funny that you, the biggest fucking shrill crybaby spaz on the SDMB, bar none, has the balls to actually show up and say the things you have said in this thread.
Amazing.
Hastur, go crawl back up your own ass and shut the fuck up.
If you haven’t noticed, everyone else here is trying to politely discuss the issue, while you’re running about making rude noises. Having failed to derail this thread with your first few comments, you keep jumping back and being unpleasant. I hope no one takes your bait and turns this thread into another bout of ugliness.
These things don’t have to turn into train wrecks. The principals involved in the dispute have made their peace, and there’s really no need to act like an ass merely because this is in the Pit.
If you don’t have something at least reasonably polite to say, I, for one, am not interested in hearing it here.
Um… dear Diane:
You are and always have been a frightening bitch to me with little or no provocation.
You are a gutless wench who only joins a pile on and when taken to task, especially privately, you go on the attack and minimize, calling me a whiner and not dealing with the points that were made.
You take great glee in attacking, and claim that the points made aren’t valid because you say so.
Get a life, and stop hiding behind a veneer of superiority.