DDG, I read most of that thread… and I’d have to say that I respect you both as posters. I didn’t dare post in that thread, but I just wanted to say that I hope you’re okay after all that. You’ve been a good poster… and please don’t change your style substantially just because some people don’t like it.
Of course, you may want to take the suggestions already given you in this thread. (I don’t have an opinion on your style one way or the other, except this: it is what makes you YOU… it’s like asking you to change your base personality)
[Freud voive]DDG, from casual observation, you seem to have a Mother Hen type personality, wherein you always want to help people, even if it goes beyond what is expected. This can be very irritating to people. [/Freud voice]
There was a woman I worked with to whom I would avoid asking questions, because she would not say, “The digital camera is in Rick’s office,” she would get up, walk me into Rick’s office, ask him for it, then hand it to me and give me advice on using it. I knew how to use it. I used it more than she did. She was so friggin’ helpful (hers was a control issue) it made people avoid her. Her intentions may have been good, but it drove everyone bonkers.
And LordVor, I am actually in the paper and packaging industry, and I LOVE doing shit like that, so good example, but I personally was not put out by doing that.
I don’t understand what the hell is going on. I’ve been on this board for awhile now, and yet I still don’t understand why people let themselves get worked up about other posters and what they think. We shouldn’t get so emotionally involved on this board where we get to the point where people’s meanness and pettiness drive us to depression. I’ve gotten pissed at what someone has said, but as soon as I log off of the internet, that anger disappears. With the exception of a few posters, most of you guys are like cartoon characters, fictional and exaggerated. Maybe that’s how we should view the Hasturs of the board. That way we can just laugh at them instead of hating them.
DDG, you aren’t the perfect poster, but no one is. There are times when your tone is harsh, but just the other day I was unjustifiably harsh to a new poster and was sorta taken to task in the Pit. I don’t know your posting style that well enough to have an opinion one way or the other; all I know is that unless you break a rule, no one can keep you from posting. So I say damn the haters and keep doing what you want to do. Fuck, if the worst criticism that people can come up with is that you like to google, then you’re doing better than most of the posters here.
Duck Duck Goose,
I don’t understand why people still think this is about Googling. I don’t have a problem with someone using Google. If we take the Google issue out of the thread, there still seems to be a problem. As Billdo said, it’s the overall tone of some of your posts.
I love this place, but I don’t post very often. One of those reasons is the snippy anal-retentiveness of a few posters, you being one of them. It’s not that I dislike you, I just cringe when I see posts like the one in the “Unban Satan” thread. Like many others, I’ve noticed you being extra snippy lately. There’s a certain “holier-than-thou” attitude that’s worse than usual. Maybe that was the last straw for jar and she blew up about everything that’s been bothering her, but that’s only my guess.
I had a friend once, who made it her mission to be “the answer” for everything. She loved attention and it killed her when someone had the answer before her. She was passive-agressive and when called on it, she would act shocked and feign innocence. She never wanted to see that she could ever be wrong. I ended that friendship because her snipey competetiveness was annoying and stressful.
I find it interesting that you are still asking Coldfire for cites when he gave you a couple of examples. Does he have time to wade through thousands of posts? Probably not. But this means that there seems to be no concession at all on your part to see any of what some people are saying about you.
This is constructive criticism. Please take a step back and listen to what some people are saying–barring the Google issue. People obviously appreciate that aspect of your personality. I don’t frequent GQ, so I can’t make that judgment.
But as I, and other people, have noticed that your tone seems to be worse than usual, it might be in your best interest to step back and re-evaluate the way you come across sometimes.
I actually dislike only one or two people on this board and you are not one of them, so please don’t my comments to mean that I dislike you. I’m just trying to help.
I don’t have any sympathy for Duck Duck Goose, and you know why? This is just a message board, a place to exchange ideas, debate stuff, give your opinion, talk about meaningless stuff and/or to rant and rave. If she’s been serioulsy affected by getting pited then she needs to go seek professional help and I mean that in a serious way, because it seems she’s placed to much importance on this activity and has too much of her self esteem wrapped up into it. The high importance that she or the rest of you for that matter, places on all of this is in her own mind, it’s not real. How could it be? I find it hard to believe that anyone would take any of this stuff that seriously, this place is a caricature and the pit that much more so.
And Hastur, you could just say “truce”. Knowing MG and Diane, I bet they’d be willing to agree to one. Or you could keep going and anyone who had respected you before will probably not anymore.
As for EasyPhil’s “This is just a message board, a place to exchange ideas, debate stuff, give your opinion, talk about meaningless stuff and/or to rant and rave.”
Yeah. Just a message board.
You weren’t in MPSIMS a few weeks ago, were you? When one of our own was going through tough times financially?
Yeah. This “just a message board” helped to raise a few thousand dollars and get a functioning PC for that friend.
But even through that it’s “just a message board”. Through the announcements of births, deaths, engagements and weddings, it’s “just a message board”, even still despite the fact that several of those weddings (and one of the births) owe their existence to this place.
If this place doesn’t mean much to you, do keep in mind that it does mean a lot to others of us. And since it’s only a message board to you, leaving should be relatively easy, yes?
But to some of us, it’s not just a message board populated by random strangers whose opinions mean nothing to us. I have friends here. So do other folks. Sometimes I get snide remarks from other posters, and I blow it off as well as I can. But if I were the subject of a public flogging, I’d feel a lot differently, I think.
As far as placing too much importance on the SD goes (and I’m not saying you’re wrong, just that other people may look it differently than you do), I’d argue that the same philosophy should apply to people who find themselves being driven to distraction by something as innocuous as another poster’s style.
If it really isn’t important, why the pit rant in the first place?
I keep seeing people mention that DDG has been grouchy lately, and I’m a little taken aback by that assertion. Compared to some posters (witness some of the posts to this very thread), she’d still have to go a damn far piece to even keep up with the snarkiness that occurs on a fairly regular basis.
I applaud Hastur for attempting to take some of the heat off of others by immolating himself. Very selfless.
DDG, you lost me after the Jedi Knights busted up that ring of coffee drinking, dope smuggling, hippies who made you clean their house, but I hope you are doing OK.
How is this place not “real?” Granted there isn’t any face-to-face contact, unless you count Dopefests (which a lot of people attend, at which many have made real friends).
And any poster who has any number of post to their credit has invested some of him or herself to this community. Personalities do shine through-- some more so than others-- but people put a little bit of themselves on the line when they hit that submit button.
I’d wager that some people say things here that they wouldn’t even disclose to their friends. People enjoy coming here to discuss a wide variety of things from themselves and their families to news and religion to Cecil’s latest nuggets of wisdom. Whatever they’re posting about, it’s usually a tiny reflection of who they are.
Are the columnists in your local paper any less “real” because you can’t see or hear them talking? No, but the really good columnists can make you feel like you know them via the words they write. That’s how it often is here, as well.
And it’s possible that for some posters, for whatever the circumstances, posting here (or even just lurking here) may constitute a good majority of their contact with others.
So you, EasyPhil (and I) may not have as much invested here as other posters, but please don’t discredit the meaningful relationships and interactions that do go on here.
Upon preview, I see others have chimed in with comments of their own, but this is my 2 cents.
Ordinarily, there’s something noble about diving (in slow-motion, with appropriate downshifted “nooooooooo!!!”) in front of another to take a bullet, but…
In any case:
Looking at messageboards with an eye to how a newbie might view them is a pretty good habit, I think. It can be focused, to view one’s own posts with the same eye–how would a newbie, first seeing this post of mine, react?
The applicability, if any, of the above I’m just going to leave as an exercise for any interested reader.
I’m not attempting to discredit meaningful relationships and interactions, I’m speaking to this brouhaha about DDG being pited for behavior that people felt was objectionable. I still say that all that are heavily invested in this little affair, are taking this board to seriously, meaningful relationships and interactions withstanding. What really is the big deal here? I mean really? Duck Duck Goose and supporters, get over yourselves already.
Duck Duck Goose, awhile ago I was felling sick and despondent, at the same time I suspected I was going to be lay off from by work (Lack of new orders in the print shop, nothing bad for my part) unfortunatelly I was correct.
While that was happening, a GD thread on vigilantes at the Arizona border was going and it affected me personally.
And there I was, with my brains turned to mush because of a cold and flu from hell, unable to find info like I used to so I could counteract the pro position. But there you were, finding maps, articles, opinions, etc. that showed how full of it the pro position was.
I thanked you then, and here I thank you again for all your help! Don’t let anybody tell you are doing a bad thing! And for all critics out there: Nobody is perfect, but how I whish everybody would help and do as few mistakes as DDG is!!
And I have never done this before but for you:
[hug]{{{{{{{{DDG}}}}}}}}[/hug]
And as a guy that endured Scylla’s flames without replying in kind (I have an asbestos skin), I say that the one that needs to get over it is you EasyPhil.
Duck, reading your OP(s), I was reminded of much sturm und drang I’ve gone through (more than once) on this board, and you have my sympathies. Being Pitted is no fun. Being called on the carpet for your behavior (be they right or wrong for doing so) is no fun. Having to defend yourself (again, right or wrong) is no fun. Feeling you’ve been maligned, mistreated, misquoted and pummelled is no fun. The issues involved aside, I really do feel your pain and understand your need to get some resolution. (Might I suggest a LiveJournal? )
EasyPhil, for many, being called out here is no different than being called out face-to-face in a very public manner by a friend, neighbor, co-worker or classmate.
If a group of your friends or co-workers stood up and shouted, “Phil, I don’t like you, I think you’re annoying and here’s why.” And then proceded to outline every part of your personality that they found objectionable. You’d probably be a little upset, pissed off, hurt, whatever.
Whether the criticsm is justified or not, a public rant by a group directed toward an individual would probably sting. As it did for DDG.
My point was that for many people here who have invested a lot time and themselves at the SDMB, such a declaration of annoyance could illicit the same feelings as they would in the Flesh and Blood World.
(I don’t have an opinion on your style one way or the other, except this: it is what makes you YOU… it’s like asking you to change your base personality)
)