:smack:
D’oh, that’s what I meant.
Molotok
September 2, 2011, 6:37am
102
Genesis, 6:20
Taek all kinds of teh birdz, An ov teh moocows, An ov teh creepy crawlyz on teh urf, 2 ov evry kind. but dont worry about teh fishz, dey can swimz gud.
It’s there in black and white!!1
Even if all ice on Earth melted, there still wouldn’t be enough water to cover all of the land. Not even close.
In Biblical times, incest was okay and people made a lot of shit up.
Diogenes_the_Cynic:
Fundamentalists typically just answer all the myriad logistical problems of the story with “goddidit” magic. To me, that just raises the question of why God bothered with a flood at all then. If he wanted to disappear the people, then he could have just disappeared the people. And why kill most of the animals? What did they do?
You can take this even further. Since God is supposed to be omniscient, he would have already known people were going to fuck things up on the first try, and he’d have to reboot with a flood, so why couldn’t he have just skipped the first part altogether and simply created Noah’s family and a pair of every animal in the first place? Why not just make the the original boot instead of the reboot?
So you’re saying we’re living in a post-Crisis world? I don’t know if I can take that; it’s already why I hate comic books.
You dare question Ceiling Cat? GTFO!!! He iz gonna pwn3z u!!!
outlierrn:
Yeah, but in verse 4:20 we read ‘and Noah said wait (pause) oh yeah, better make it two of each kind, Dude.’
Oh, good. I wasn’t sure if I was being too (pause) subtle.
Voyager
September 2, 2011, 11:12pm
109
Cicero:
John 11:35.
Taken from a prostitute’s day planner, no doubt.
Voyager
September 2, 2011, 11:15pm
110
That’s true. And that’s the answer - one tremendous fish fry.
If the Christians were smart, they’d just say the Ark was a Tardis and that Noah was a Tine Lord. Would explain everything far more plausibly.
Morgyn
September 3, 2011, 1:45am
111
<emphasis mine>
So instead of sending out birds, he knew the flood was over by sticking a fork in it?
Voyager
September 3, 2011, 4:08am
112
Which version of Dr. Who do you watch? In the one that comes on my TV, he’s all forked up.
God left two specific instructions for Moses and the profound lessons from these are still
His first command to Moses to put the “Fish in Ship”
Thru typos and bad translations over the years all we have now is “Fish N Chips” and “Fillet O Fish”
Yes, and they all had balcony staterooms below the water line.
rock_party:
God left two specific instructions for Moses and the profound lessons from these are still
His first command to Moses to put the “Fish in Ship”
Thru typos and bad translations over the years all we have now is “Fish N Chips” and “Fillet O Fish”
Reminds me of “Blessed are the cheesemakers!”
Lobohan:
Well remember, the people that wrote the bible were so ignorant that they thought the sky was a dome and over the dome there was water. God opened gates that allowed huge spigots of water to flood the Earth.
There is really no excuse for a modern person from a first world country believing this nonsense.
wait, so are you saying we DIDN’T go to the moon?
saoirse
September 5, 2011, 6:44pm
117
outlierrn:
Yeah, but in verse 4:20 we read ‘and Noah said wait (pause) oh yeah, better make it two of each kind, Dude.’
Wrong. It’s “two pepperoni and, hey, seven of the cheese!”
