Were you forced to go to church as a child? How’d that work out?

In My Humble Opinion
21

I’m a PK and only missed church or youth group if I was ill. Left home at 18 and haven’t attended service including xmas more than half a dozen times. Also, I go into suspended animation on the rare occaisions that I have attended. It used to be my dad up there and so I completely tune it out.

I did a Kunta Kinte trip last sunday with my big brother to the town where I went from 1st to 8th grade. We went by before the sunday service. talked to a few old timers that knew a few older timers that knew my family. I took some photos and doubt if I ever go back again.

22

My parents took our family to church partly as a social thing, but also because there was a ‘Young Wives’ club run at the Church which gave sensible advice to my Mum.

I went to Sunday School and also took religious studies as an option at School.
By the time I was 15 I’d read the Gospels and couldn’t see what evidence there was for the Resurrection.
I asked my Sunday School teacher (a decent chap) about why anyone believed in God. He answered that there was no proof and that you had to have faith despite that.
So I became an atheist and pretty soon my family did too.

23

TruCelt @14:. Do Presbyterians really hang an actual Dead Jesus statue on their crosses? I thought crucifixes were a Catholic thing only, and all the Protestants just used a +.

My parents tried to get me to be a Methodist, but I was reading subversive literature (Robert Ingersoll, Bertrand Russell) by age 13 and it didn’t take. I can’t remember the last time I was inside a Protestant church, but I love Catholic Churches, especially ones with gory crucifixes and art.

24

My sister went to Sunday School. They taught her, “When you die, you become a star in the sky.” She said, “I want to be a constellation.”

She had more couth than I had. I went to Sunday School once – once! – came home, said, “This is the stupidest load of garbage in the world,” and wouldn’t go back.

My parents didn’t tell us about Santa Claus, either.

25

I wasn’t raised in quite such horrible conditions (only had to go once per week), but I was made to go to church until I grew bigger than my mother, who could then no longer physically force me to go to church. (She would later make veiled threats to throw me out of the home unless I went to church, but as a near-adult I didn’t fall for the BS.) I’m the only member of my immediate family who left the church however, as apparently I’m the only member of the family who loses brain cells due to sheer boredom at the church.

Barring the occasional funeral or child christening, I haven’t set foot in a church since.

26

I’m not sure I ever really bought into the whole God thing. When I was a little kid, I believed there was a God because my mother told me so, and why would she lie to me? But I never really thought there was some bearded dude up in the sky who was listening if I said prayers.

From my earliest memories of going to church, it bored the hell out of me. I began to actively detest going by the time I was 10 or 11 - I felt I was being forced. I mean, it was bad enough that I had to sit in school five days a week, and the weekend was only two days long, and then I had to waste half of one of those days going to some stupid boring church?

By the time I became a teenager, I had decided the whole God thing was a sham, and started fighting with my mom about going. I think I was 15 when she finally relented, on the condition that I still go twice a year, on Christmas Eve and Easter. That lasted until I turned 18, then I told her I was done.

So how’d it work out? By forcing me to go to church, my mother instilled in me an intense hatred of it, which is the opposite of what she was going for. However, if I hadn’t been forced, I don’t think things would have turned out any differently. I would still be an atheist, and most certainly would not be going to church now.

27

From an early age, I would try to malinger my way out of going to church. Since my parents were very devout, we were expected to go almost every Sunday. I say “almost” because my mother would sometimes make the executive decision that we (her and her kids) could stay home. But my father always went. I don’t have a memory of my father ever missing church. He even goes to church when he’s traveling out of town.

Why did I hate church so much? I don’t know. There were certainly “likeable” aspects to it, like the music, but they were outweighed by the drudgery. And in a Pentacostal church, the “drudgery” lasts hours.

The practice of going to church was an easy enough habit to break once I got to college. But I did go through a short spell of feeling guilty about not doing something “spiritual” on Sunday mornings. I tried a Quaker congregation for about a year, thinking perhaps I needed an experience that was diametrically opposed to Pentacostalism so I could see what I was missing. But nope. I just don’t believe in supernatural divinity stuff.

Sometimes I wonder if my family would have been a stronger unit if we had not wasted so much time in church.

28

Generic Protestant (mostly Presbyterian) by upbringing here. Once a week on Sundays with some summer Bible school, and three years in a private school run by the church with a mixed secular/religious curriculum. I’d say I sort of absorbed some Christian values by osmosis so it’s probably to the good that I went.

The only negative thing I can attribute to it was having to sing hymns of praise to God declaring how happy and joyful I was when in fact I was as miserable as a grade-school child can be (non-religious causes). To this day I mostly roll my eyes at hymns and make up satirical lyrics in my head.

29

Dad was Catholic (lapsed), Mom was Calvinist. I was raised in the First Congregationalist Church. The second I was confirmed (got my Bible and everything) I stopped going. If you asked me what I supposedly believed back then I couldn’t tell you. Since then I’ve been pretty much pantheistic hedonist.

30

We were observant at home, and I went to a Jewish day school for preschool, and K-2. Public school after that. We always had Shabbes dinner with family, so we didn’t go to Friday night services very often, but we usually went to Saturday morning services. My parents, several of my aunts and uncles, and my aunt’s (my father’s SIL’s) parents all belonged to the same synagogue.

I wasn’t forced to go; I liked it. They had a children’s service, so I didn’t start sitting through the Torah readings until I was in Hebrew school, and actually learning things, and thinking about a Bat Mitzvah some day. I was called “Rivkah Chaya” by everyone, because the rabbi’s daughter was named Rivkah, and she was about 7 years older than I was, so she was already plain Rivkah.

Later, when my parents moved to Queens, we didn’t go to the same shul as any family, and my parents went a lot less. They also became less observant, although they still kept a kosher kitchen, and we still had Shabbes dinner. They sent my brother and me to Hebrew school, wheich I loved and my brother hated. We went to services every time there was a b’nei mitzvah, auf ruf, or something, though, and sometimes we went on Friday nights, so we weren’t “HHD only” people.

When I went to live with my aunt and uncle, they were very observant, and my uncle read Torah a lot. With my uncle’s help, I started reading Torah, and learned to lead a few parts of the service. By the time I was a Hillel student, I was a regular service leader and Torah study leader.

My aunt and uncle never forced any of us to go to services. Certain aspects of Shomer Shabbes and Shomer Kashrut were not negotiable, but no one had to go to services after b’nei mitzvah. You had to go before because it was how you learned to lead the parts of the service you had to lead as a bar or bat mitzvah. My uncle was not going to pay a tutor if you could just go to services every week and learn the prayers.

I am still a regular service goer, still read Torah, and even go to daily minyan.

31

My mother is Mormon, my father was raised Catholic but was non-practicing. Attendance at Mormon church and associated events was mandatory. As we got into our teens we had more choice in the matter. By 16 I’d stopped attending ‘church’ and events. My Boy Scout troop was part of church activities. I stuck with Scouts until 17 and some change. After I came out when I was 18 I was disowned entirely.

32

Born & bred Roman Catholic
12 years of Catholic schools
They were far above the public schools in that time & place
Had 2 uncles that were priests
Some nuns floating around in the extended family over the years
Never had an internal conflict with religion in general and science
Both work fine and do not exclude the other IMO
Had great priests, was an alter boy and love the Easter week.

Down side:
Catholic conscious. Good thing I have it or many people would have died. Real PITS most of the time.
Going to confession with an uncle at the cabin who was visiting right after I discovered sex. ::: shudder :::

I do not care what anyone else believes as long as it does not harm me & mine or trying to take over the world.

33

Church attendance at the Methodist church was a non-optional event throughout childhood and mostly on into junior high and high school. It affected me differently at different ages.

As a young kid, EVERYWHERE that your folks take you is their idea so what else is new?

Circa 10 years old I asked a lot of curious questions. I wasn’t at all comforable with the idea of backwards-facing eternity, that God has “always been”. At the same time I wasn’t comfy with the idea of anything such that there was “nothing before it” either. The “answers” that the Methodist church (via sunday school teachers, ministers, and other adults including parents) provided was pablum babytalk that didn’t satisfy.

I questioned the miraculous magical stuff. It was one thing to hold up Jesus as a hero of sorts for the ideas about sharing and forgiving and not judging and loving even your enemies, but the metaphysical life-after-death stuff always left me confused. So did the “Jesus is the son of God and oh he is also God” stuff, WTF? I wasn’t going to “believe” stuff I didn’t understand.

By junior high and high school there were things about church that utterly creeped me out. I hated the somber offeratory while everyone contemplated their spiritual inadequacy to the sound of gloomy music and tossed coins or checks into the collection plate, then a bright rousing “praise god from whom all blessings flow” celebration of all the $$$money$$$ coming up the aisle — extremely manipulative and offensive and not even well-disguised! The communion creeped me out too as I got older. There was an undercurrent to the “eat his body drink his blood and we’ll live forever” refrain that was positively Draculonian, if you see what I mean, and also a lot of “we’re so glad he’s fucking DEAD, we celebrate how he got hisself killt cuz now we have eternal life hooray”, and I not only didn’t believe it, I was repelled by it.

As a young adult the main disincentive to identifying as an atheist was the lack-of-meaning stuff. I don’t mean “Gee if we didn’t have religion we would not have a perfect preformed description of what It All Means”, but instead the notion that everything was a giant wind-up toy, a clockwork of cause and effect in which every notion or ideal or value was a byproduct of that, with no real meaning anywhere to be found. I didn’t like that. I was perfectly OK with the notion that we could never fully capture the meaning and know for sure that we’d done so accurately, but that was a massively different thing than disavowing that any meaning existed. That a chaotic world existed chaotically for an explainable reason and that a nonchaotic world was possible, that made the chaos tolerable even if not acceptable; but that it was chaotic because it was meaningless and that it could not be otherwise? uh uh.

I split from any vestige of affiliation with established religions and churches well over 40 years ago but I still consider myself religious in a “roll your own” sort of way.

34

My parents are devout RCC. We went to church ever Sunday (or Saturday evening) and every Holy Day of Obligation. CCD every week, but my generation got shafted there. No catechism and no doctrine; just platitudes. “Christians are nice.” My baloney meter was going strong by the time confirmation came around, but that was non-negotiable. When I went off to college at 17, I said I was never going to church again.
God will often make you eat the word “never” when you use it concerning Him. After a year and three months of saying no to a friend, I went to the Baptist Student Union for dinner right before Thanksgiving break. I was so intrigued and enamored by the peace I felt there that I started attending regularly. Admitted I am a sinner, asked for forgiveness, and asked Christ to be my Savior and LORD. I am a Christian. I prefer Baptist churches, but not the “demon cards, demon alcohol, bow three times a day toward Bob Jones University” type. Right now, because of my husband’s job as choir director, I go to a Presbyterian church on Sunday morning and a Southern Baptist church on Sunday evening.
My parents did teach us well, but with unintended results. All 5 kids go to church. One married a guy who had been raised to dislike Catholics, and when they chose a church in a new town, they looked for the prettiest, so they go to an Episcopal. 2nd is the only kid to go to a Catholic church. I’m 3rd in line. The 4th married a PK and goes to a Vineyard church. The youngest married into a Greek Orthodox family, so we got a Greek kid in the family now.

35

Southern Baptist here. No, no hellfire and brimstone. Arlington VA between 1947 and 1961. Outliers.

Sent Sunday morning, and again Sunday night. Also most Wed. nights. Found it intellectually stimulating in the early years. The bible is truly a fascinating piece of literature. But every year my mind wandered more and more. Questioning.

Went to college in 1962, and never looked back.

36

I was raised Presbyterian. I went to church as a child and Sunday school because that’s what you did. I didn’t believe in the miracles at an early age and read many books that tired to explain how the miracles might have been. (I also read von Daniken.) Around 10 or so I decided they were equally nonsense.

I still went to church because my parents wished me to. When I left for college I almost never went again. Interestingly, my father then decided to become a Unitarian as he no longer believed.

Some time later they returned to the Presbyterian Church – more my mother’s wishes I believe.

We never took our son, though he did join a children’s choir with a friend because he liked to sing.

37

Raised Catholic and went to CCD. My sister went to Catholic school but my mom wanted me in public school for the gifted program and CCD was the trade-off. I wasn’t really “forced” in that my objection to going wasn’t any more than my objection to early morning swimming lessons or eating brussels sprouts. Just one of those things mom said you had to do 'cause it was good for you.

It was fine. I still consider myself nominally Catholic even if I barely meet the “Christmas & Easter” label these days. I enjoy the family/ethnic tradition angle (Polish ancestry).

38

Was raised in Salt Lake City, surrounded by Mormons, but we weren’t. My mother was raised Catholic but didn’t practice. My dad was some variation on the Protestants, but I’m not sure which. He never talked about it and was busy making a living, so left religious instruction up to my mother.

She was reluctant to force any sort of belief on us, so she decided to drag us each weekend to a different church service. My childhood was filled with them. She punted the Buddhists, Hindus, Jews, Muslims, Russian Orthodox in for good measure, in addition to the more customary (in SLC) Episcopalians, Methodists, Baptists, Unitarians, Protestants, Mormons, Catholics, Presbyterians, etc., etc. I can’t think of a single religious service I wasn’t made to observe at least once, even if only as an stand-apart and not any kind of participant (although I’m sure there are many I missed out on). I found it interesting from a cultural perspective, but not compelling. They couldn’t all be right.

We were also raised with a heavy emphasis on seeking evidence for our views.

Naturally, we all became atheists. You won’t find me in a church except for the occasional wedding or funeral. I don’t remember ever believing in a god and have always been fine with that.

39

As far as I can recall, religion was not mentioned in my family. There was not even a bible in the house. Somehow I knew we were Jewish, we did go to my aunt’s for a seder every year and I think they made an effort to fast on Yom Kipper, I took all the holidays off from school, but that was it. Until one year, I must have been 8 or 9, I was sent to Sunday school at my aunt’s shul. Just that one year. Then came the fall I was 11 1/2 and they OMG, he will be thirteen in less that a year and a half and suddenly I was in Hebrew school learning my parts for a year and a half. The teacher would ridicule the kids who stayed through their bar Mitzvah and then quit. I vowed I would not be one of them. The great day came. Tuesday following, I said to myself, “Surely, taking off one from Hebrew school is justified”. Thursday, I amended that to one week. The following Tuesday, I took a third day off and came to realize I was not going back. I also realized I didn’t believe in any of this god stuff anyway.

My wife was raised similarly. When she was 11 her mother divorced her father and married a very religious man, whom I could never abide. I loved my actual FIL though. We raised out kids with no religion. Didn’t make a point of it; just never raised the question.

40

Similar story here.

Mass on Sunday and holy days, abstaining from meat on Fridays, going to confession, the whole nine yards. After I married (in front of a notary, not in a church) my husband and I tried several different churches (he was raised Baptist) but none ever really clicked and we just quit going. I know my mom isn’t happy, but that’s life.

My dad was in a Jesuit seminary for a short time - being the only son, he was expected to become a priest, but he decided that wasn’t his calling, and he joined the Marines instead, then married my mom. Mom goes to Mass several times a week, and sang in the choir for years till her voice gave out.

I wouldn’t call myself an atheist, but I definitely don’t believe in religion. I won’t dismiss the possibility of a Supreme Being, but if such a thing exists, I doubt it cares about football games or whether gay people can marry or smiting whole populations with hurricanes because of some transgression. In the last 20 years or so, the only times I’ve been in a church was for funerals (4 or 5, I think) and one wedding. Oh, and when my mom and I were on a cruise, I went to Mass in Dublin with her.

I do miss the sense of community, but not the “We’re #1 and you’re going to hell” mindset.