Were you forced to go to church as a child? How’d that work out?

In My Humble Opinion
61

I once went to an Episcopal youth retreat with a friend of mine, who was apart of a disarmament group I belonged to in school. The E Church apparently was for nuclear disarmament, and the retreat was going to be doing something on the subject, as well as some regular retreat stuff. I really enjoyed it. The leader, who was planning on going to seminary, was really interested in Judaism and Hebrew, and asked if I could teach a song in Hebrew, so I did. She asked me if I would be willing to give a talk on Judaism as one of the workshops. It was very well attended, and I got to talk about why Hanukkah wasn’t “Jewish Christmas.” People had lots of questions.

It was very peaceful, and everyone was really nice, and no one tried to convert me, plus, I got in touch with a couple more disarmament groups, back when there was no internet, and you had to make you connections face-to-face.

When I took an “Intro to Christianity” course in college (mostly early Church history) and I had to pick a modern denomination to write a paper about, I picked the Episcopalians.

62

So they could barbecue in peace? :smiley:

63

It worked out fine for me. I was raised a Southern Baptist. I wasn’t “forced” to go. We went as a family. I am very thankful for my Christian parents. I strayed away from attending church on a regular basis when I joined the military in 1971.

64

RivkahChaya, thanks! :slightly_smiling_face: While I can’t speak for all Episcopalians, I can say that the ones in my experience are pretty much “Live and let live.” I mean, really; how silly would it be for us to judge anybody, on account of our religion was founded on some guy wanting to get a divorce??!!:smiley:

65

I come from a not-very-religious family in a not-very-religious country. We went to church every Sunday out of habit and tradition rather than any actual belief. Up until I was 9 I went to Sunday School, and I never really understood any of what I was being told. Something about it all didn’t gel with me. My Dad wasn’t into it, he’d find the most excuses not to attend.

And then suddenly we just stopped going. I found out many years later why. My Mum lost parents in rapid succession, only a couple of years apart, and it shook her so much she refused to accept a God would be so cruel, and she lost any vague faith she had. The rest of us didn’t miss it.

When I was about 13, my best friend invited me to one of his Christian Fellowship meetings; I had no interest at all but went along for his sake, and it really was fascinating. I viewed it as more of a scientific objective viewing of the twisted rationalisations and huge gaps in logic they employed in order to maintain their belief that there was more to the world than what they could see. It was all about feelings more than facts, rote quotations, and trite aphorisms, and constant attributions and references to God and Jesus. That way of thinking has never made sense to me, and my friend and I drifted apart after a while as it became clear we had different sensibilities.

I’ve never wavered from my atheism, which I guess I have always had my entire life.

66

It can be interesting to experience other religions and their traditions.

Many years ago, I was planning to marry a girl who was Roman Catholic. (We eventually did not marry, for various reasons that are unnecessary here.) We had to take pre-marriage classes, led by a priest, at her church. He was young, and welcoming to all, of any faith–fine by Protestant me. But one of the couples in the class consisted of an RCC girl and a Jewish guy. So, since classes took place over Passover, the priest asked the Jewish guy if he would organize a seder feast, so we could all learn about an important part of his faith. The Jewish guy happily accepted the task.

There was a list of what was needed for the seder table, and we each brought something on it. It was apparent that the priest had studied Jewish traditions, but he turned things over to the Jewish guy, who helped us all to celebrate, as best as we Christians could, a Jewish seder. I’m sure that we made mistakes (there was some laughter over who was youngest in the room, and who would thus ask, “Why is this night special?”), but it was an educational evening, and I came away knowing more about Passover and Judaism than I had previously.

As I said, I did not marry that RCC girl, but I value that evening where we celebrated a Jewish seder.

[/end hijack]

67

Damn laptop ate my answer.

Catholic dad, Protestant mom. They didn’t go to church much. I did go to occasional temple and mass services.

My mom and dad divorced, so when I was about 9 or 10, we started going to church with my stepfather; they finally settled on Presbyterian.

Apparently, not going to church as a youngster makes you less susceptible to churching. I remember listening to the Ark story and thinking, “Wait, do these grownups actually believe all of this?”

And then a few years later I was thrown out of the high school Sunday school class because I asked about transubstantiation and whether Adam and Eve had belly buttons.

Not long after, I refused to attend church anymore because I found inconsistencies in the Bible, and because of the rampant hypocrisy in our small-town church. My stepfather, who had raised about 10 kids before my brother and I came along, was the one who told my yelling mom that forcing me to go wasn’t what Jesus had in mind, and that it wouldn’t make me believe, and that since I just planned to stay home and study, he didn’t see a problem. Bless him. He was an extremely kind and sensible man and I miss him to this day.

I’m an atheist now; I’ve been one quietly for about twenty years, and I’ve been open for about ten. My mom accepts it since she knows I explored a lot of religions and belief systems. Weirdly, my dad and stepmom don’t, because they think I don’t believe in anything. Sigh.

68

We attended a non-denominational Chinese church when I was a little kid, maybe about once a month. My parents met there and even though my mother was brought up in the affiliated Northern Baptist church, I always got the impression our going was more about community than religion. All of our relatives in the area went there and it was a time for my parents to visit with their friends and relatives and it was primarily when I saw with my cousins.

I am the youngest of my generation of the entire extended family and as I got older we went less and less. By the time I started high school we went maybe once a year, and by the time I was graduating high school we stopped going altogether.

As adults, my siblings and I have chosen to adhere to our family’s much older tradition of being godless heathens.

69

I went to a Christian school from kindergarten until middle school, and was forced to go to church as well. Despite the early and thorough indoctrination, I always struggled with belief, and by the time I was a teenager had developed a great antipathy towards religion.

I’m a full-fledged atheist now and church services still fill me with rage. I recently attended church with my grandmother on her 90th birthday, and that is the last time I shall ever go.

70

Was taken to church for awhile between the ages of 4-7, but we stopped going completely when they presented my mom with a sheet of paper stating how much money we’d tithed, and could we just give some more?

Tried again as a teenager, but found it too weird and awkward. First church was of the, “you are going to hell if you do x”, variety and the people were unfriendly. Second was full of touchy, feely, middle aged to elderly folks.

Now I’m not religious in the least.

71

i was christened both Roman Catholic and Serbian Orthodox. It’s a Roma thing (both churches gave big gift baskets to Roma families that allowed them to christen their babies). Knew the RCC through Catholic friends and some really nice nuns who gave me books and school and craft supplies. I know I attended their masses and enjoyed the music though I never took communion. I spent a lot of time with three old Serb priests who were deeply into studying the more esoteric sides of Christianity and the occult. We had great times talking about the nature of witchcraft, vampirism, the devil, etc. They wanted me to be a nun and a scholar like them. Then my mother discovered the Gypsy Evangelical Movement and i learned the true nature of evil (it speaks in tongues).

72

I was raised Lutheran. Sundays were Sunday school and church, Wednesdays were youth group/confirmation, and you better be on death’s door to get out of it. I had no problem with it - I was a believer. I went to a Lutheran college. One of my majors was Religion, thought hard about becoming a pastor. That’s where the problems began. Really studying religion made me an atheist. Now I’m more agnostic. My parents and I have had more than a few go arounds about religion, and my mom still pushes it very hard. Supposedly, if I just Believe, my physical illness would just go away.

When I had my daughter, I stated loudly to my very religious parents that she will be allowed to choose her religion, if she wants. I did not have her baptized, much to their dismay. When she was 5ish, my parents started offering to take her overnights, Saturday to Sunday. I knew what they intended, and I decided I was okay with it. She LOVED it. When she was 13, she decided she wanted to be baptized, which elated my parents. As she grew older, the more we discussed religion and attended other churches, the more she shifted to atheism. Now, at 23, she is very strongly atheist.

Now, we attend church here and there with my mom for community and the music. The vast majority of the parishoners have known me and my daughter for all our lives. My mom lives in perpetual hope that we will come back to the fold, but that’s not going to happen.

73

I went to a Church of Christ (no instrumental music!) twice a week from as early as I can remember until I was a teenager. I pretty distinctly remember having a “how do we know this isn’t all just made up?” moment at about 6 or so, and I never fully bought into it. This was a church where generally adolescents made the decision to be “saved” and be baptized, which I never did, despite all the other kids my age doing so.

I remember getting a creepy sort of vibe from the whole thing at a pretty young age that never really lifted for me. I’m not sure exactly what age I stopped going, but I’m guessing around age 15 or so. Our family didn’t go “all in” as much as some families there, who would have elaborate sets of rules about what books and video games and movies their kids could watch and all that.

I still like some of the hymns from those days, and I can get a few questions right when Jeopardy does a bible category, so it wasn’t a total loss.

74

When I was very young, my family didn’t go to church. As a result I self-identified as an atheist when I was in kindergarten. We moved to a small town and in a conversation with my sister discovered that our family wasn’t atheist, just non-practicing. Not much longer after than we began going to the Methodists church. I started dating my future wife my senior year and her family was fanatically Catholic. As the Methodists taught that there were many paths to Christ I ended up converting to Catholicism to smooth things over with my wife and her family. Toward the end of our college years, my wife had a crisis of faith and began looking at other churches. Then she discovered she wasn’t all that religious after all. Now days she is a hard atheist and I’m a pretty firm agnostic. I don’t think it is likely that God exists, and if he/she/it does, it is a form no current religion is even close to understanding.

75

I was forced up until 16 or so. Southern Baptist. Three or four hours on Sunday mornings were bad enough, but Baptist have this thing they call Revival. Church at night! During the summer!! My mother finally stopped forcing me when she wearied of the weekly battles. After that, I would sometimes attend intermittently. Nothing the church said ever stuck though.

I’m a complete atheist now.

76

My parents were Roman Catholic, and we were required to attend mass. As a kid it was okay, enjoyable at times, and it was just what we as a family did. Later when Sundays had NFL football, going to church was painful, especially when they had services on Sunday nights back when there was no Sunday Night Football. It sucked. I’m a big gootball fan, NFL not so much college. And then later still as a teenager, I’d rather sleep in! But we went.

When I started driving I’d sometimes go on my own and bring my sister and brothers. We’d stop in, get the bulletin and leave, hang out somewhere for 45 minutes, then come home. I’d leave the bulletin someplace where it’d catch their eye. But we often still all went together as a family. I put up with it.

When I went off to college, no church! I slept in on Sundays. I’d party or stay up late Saturday nights. But I knew in my heart I’d have to sort out this “religion thing” for myself sooner or later.

The seed of faith was planted in my heart. And I’m glad. But I am a skeptic, studying science and embracing facts, an engineer by profession, so I’ve studied arguments and materials for and against religion. I came to the conclusion that Jesus was real, is real, and God is real.

I am now Lutheran. I’ve been a long-time member of both ELCA and Missouri Synod, but I choose ELCA because they (we) accept and love gays, and the ELCA has women in leadership and pastoral positions. I am active in my church, regularly help lead on the Church Council and Board of Directors, and have served as Congregation President and Vice President and other roles. I am active in Youth Ministry, I love working with kids. So yeah, that’s how it turned out for me.

The liturgy for the Lutheran services is very similar to that for Roman Catholic masses, so it is very familiar to me.

77

In common with many above, I wasn’t “forced” - it’s what we did on Sundays.

Confirmation, or what they now call Affirmation of Baptism, is when people are expected to decide on their own if they want to continue in the covenant of baptism, and in the church. I decided I did, and have done ever since.

Regards,
Shodan

78

Like so many above, I wouldn’t say I was “forced” to go to church.

I grew up in what was pretty much a Catholic bubble. Just about everyone I knew was Catholic, and everyone went to Mass on Sundays. I was aware that there were other churches, as well as a synagogue, in the neighborhood, but I thought they were pretty much the same – I was totally unaware of the differences between Catholicism and other faiths. I really thought that Judaism was the same, except they went to church on Saturdays. I remember being somewhat shocked upon finding out that Protestant ministers, and rabbis, had wives and children.

Our parish church ran at least four Masses on Sunday, and every one was packed. Standing room only. And I went to Catholic school for first through eighth grades, and then to Catholic (Jesuit) high school, and from there to a Catholic college (I transferred out after my first year for reasons that had nothing to do with religion).

I still go to Mass, almost every Sunday. Of my three siblings, one attends Mass regularly. My father still goes to Mass every week.

79

Yes, and catholic school for 5 years. Now I consider myself a recovering catholic.

80

Mom used to drag us kids to church. Usually went on Saturday afternoon as to not miss skiing on Sunday. Quit when I got out on my own, figuring it was bunk. Mom’s not happy, but I sure am.