When I was 22 I was doing a little job for Uncle Sam on an aircraft carrier off the coast of Viet Nam, and yes, I was seriously screwed up in the head then. I didn’t get to be normally screwed up until much later.
I can tell you this: If you’re able to consider the question, you already on your way out of screwed-upedness.
And, there’s a lot of good stuff on the other side.
[aside]RTFirefly, would that be Rufus T.? 
ExTank: Been there, done that. 
[/aside]
I’ll let you know when I reach 22… I think I did a lot of my messing up in the past few years (though not as messed up as some of the things people mention here… I’m too goody goody to mess up really terribly) and things don’t look too bad for the future now.
Well I’m 21, heh.
I went through my messed-up-depressed-suicidal-mental-hospital-drug-dealing-rebel-junkie-dropout-insane-care-free-fu*k-everything-downward-spiral-years during high school.
Currently I’m very well adjusted, get high grades, manage money extremely well, take care of priorities, have multiple technical skills, ect… Not sure how I got up here from down in the dumps where I was years ago.
It appears everyone goes through “the rough stage,” some have it earlier some have it later, as some have it harder while others have it easier. I’m glad I’m passed that phase and I can now spend my 20s constructing my life and making it meaningful.
Well, as my life has been mundane and standard since forever, I can’t say 22 was any more or less screwed up than any other age.
So for me personally, nope. I am just ordinary. And in some cases, less than ordinary.
Yeah, but I didn’t know how much at the time. End of college, beginning of grad school, moving to Atlanta, etc. Sowed the seeds of a lot of bitter fruit I spent the next several years harvesting. Problem is, at that age, I was mostly still convinced that nothing I did had any potential adverse consequences, and I had all those years of experience from about 16 on to look back on and think I’d learned from. Hah. Kept spiraling down for another half-dozen years and didn’t really begin to get my shit together until I was 28 or so.
I was screwed up until I was 25. Id like to use a Louisville Slugger on that mopey borderline-paranoid-psychotic antisocial FREAK I call my younger self. And tell her to learn computer programming.
Screwed up at 22?
Tell ya when I get there.
Although I think I can feel things starting to slip.
I figure one day at a time. And if things really go dorsal down, I’ll throw everything into the back of my car and travel down to the Oregon coast. Man I love that area.
Okay “old timers” (should be read to mean everybody over the age of 22), live vicariously through me. Advise me. Whack me with the 2x4 of wisdom. What should my priorities be? What shouldn’t I be sweating? How important is it that the most perfect girl I know has a boyfriend?
Come on people, show me what you know!
I was just getting off dope when I was 22.
So, yeah. I was a f**king mess.
I am not quite 22, but personally, I feel great. I made all my mistakes in my mid-teens… Then, after dropping out of college after a year, I got a taste of blue-collar life. Given the choice of 1)offing myself 2) working some empty job alongside racist, sexist, homophobic yokels for low pay for the rest of my life and 3) straightening up and getting my act together, the choice was pretty clear. Most people my age, though, seem to be stuck inthe rebellion, depression, and/or partying phase I instead got out of the way earlier. I think college and getting away from parents is what does it to most people… I, on the other hand, made all my trouble under my parents’ noses. Now I’ve gone from a 2.00 HS GPA, trouble with my parents, and a lack of interest in continuing to live to a 3.76 in college, (lousy science driving me down) a good relationship with my parents, and a good idea of what I want to do, and at least a clue how to get there. I’m hesitant to post something so self-aggrandizing, but I guess anything goes in MPSIMS.
Sad to say but I was well adjusted at 22. Graduated from College, got a good job, got engaged, bought my first new car. I put myself through school working four jobs so I didn’t really have time to do the drinking and drugs.
Let me address the last one first.
Don’t worry about her. Worry about yourself. Don’t stress out that you might be single (don’t know your situation). (hey, younger self? yeah. whamwham Take a hint.)
Priorities (IMHO) should be…
Stay financially afloat.
Plan ahead.
Stay out of emotional traps.
Don’t date anyone down the evolutionary ladder.
Yeah, everyone else might be having fun getting drunk and stoned, but you’ll be better off not having to worry about the aftermath of those problems. (I had friends, who at 25 were in seriously bad shape from doing both to extremes. And I was just fat. Ha!)
I guess there is some self-justification in this. I led the boring, unexplored life at that age. But looking back now, I can see some of the things I didn’t do would have been bad for me. I’d learned a lot about life the hard way when I was younger, and wasn’t in the mood really for more of that shit. Guess it paid off.
Oh well, that’s my ramble.
Hmmm, well, yeah, messed up for me anyway. Narrow-minded, judgemental, obsessive, miserly, “my way or the highway”, type of person. Look back on myself and wonder that I had any friends. The traits above made me give up someone I loved dearly. Screwed it up and then didn’t realize what I had until I started growing out of that narrowness.
::sigh:: I have a good life now, filled with love and happiness. Sometimes I just wish we could have second chances or two opportunities - you know, to make that life changing decision a different way and see what the results would be.
Geeeez…I don’t want to hear this. What am I going to look forward to? I’m just now 20.
Oy. At 22 I was a college drop-out working my ass off in retail to afford living anywhere that my parents weren’t. Within the next year I’d lose said job, get kicked out of the group house, and crawl back to live with my parents and try to finish school with my self-esteem dropping faster than Marlon Brando in Jupiter’s atmosphere.
So. Notes to my younger self in the form of advice to KKBattousai.
A.) A degree in underwater basket-weaving is better than no degree at all. Many employers look at the degree first, experience second, and don’t put much effort into looking at the experience if there’s no degree whatsoever.
B.) References are important. Having people that know you in various systems and bureaucracies is very useful. Get to know your professors. If you have a full or part-time job, keep on good terms with the boss. Having people vouch for you makes getting a job or into grad school a lot easier. I didn’t bother to get to know my professors and realized too late that I couldn’t get into grad school without their benificience.
C.) The first time you go out and try to get a real job, life will suck major ass. You will spend months trying to get a job. Whatever you do, don’t get desperate and go for the first place that ofers. Especially if you get a bad feeling about the company from the interviews. I was stupid enough to get desperate and jump at the first real offer I was given, and ended up working for crap pay at a crap job that I quit after six months and couldn’t use for references because turn-over was so high. See point B above.
D.) Love happens. Rushing after and pursuing love makes for fine movies, but a really screwed-up real life. Sit back, relax, don’t pressure anyone, and just be yourself. If perfect woman is at all interested in you, she’ll come around to you eventually. Pushing yourself upon her before she’s opened her eyes is just going to make you look bad, and she’ll jump to the conclusion to avoid you.
E.) Harry was right- it’s near impossible for a guy and a girl to have sex and remain just friends. Everything just gets way too weird. Sex is good, friends are better; and while you can masturbate, you can’t really be your own best friend.
F.) Likewise: Sex is good. Doing stupid, irresponsible things in order to get sex is not worth it. The physical pleasure lasts for hours; the remorse and embarassment lasts a lifetime. Sex is not some amazing panacea that will make your life’s worries (and acne) melt away. Don’t search after it like the Holy Grail.
Of course, this is just what I think. Others may feel free to disagree.
Good words, John. Here’s my advice.
Never burn your bridges; i.e. “the feet you step on today may be attached to the butt you may have to kiss tomorrow”.
If you leave a job, leave on good terms, and be professional even if they are butt-wipes.
I do not miss being 22.
I wasn’t screwed up at 22… I was knocked up! But that’s another story.
I don’t think I had a certain age where I was screwed up. I moved out of my parents house on my 18th birthday so I had to work full time to support myself. That didn’t leave much time for me to get into trouble. I partied every single weekend and had the time of my life from 18-20 but my priorities were in order and my head wasn’t screwed up. I sure did have a lot of fun though. And I don’t regret a single minute of . For most people, 22 is the age for partying and hanging out with friends, getting that first big job, and being completely self-sufficient.
Here’s something I try to live by. I can’t remember where I read it but it’s a quote from someone.
Don’t worry about tomorrow because today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday
[sub]And always wear clean underwear… if you wear underwear[/sub]
Ah, my 20’s.
You could not pay me enough to do them over again!
Although that whole decade (I was fairly okay at age 22–it was shortly after that when things went to hell in a handbasket) was pretty much messed up, it was a learning experience. Those early 20’s are the hardest, I think. You’re not a teenager, so people expect you to act like an adult. But you’re still too young to really be taken seriously, because most folks that age just don’t have enough life experience yet.
The 30’s are better. Much, much better. Just trust me.
Now that I’ve officially entered my mid-twenties, I’ve had time to reflect back on the good old days of my early-twenties. In these precious moments of reflection I’ve discovered that I was in no way screwed up when I was 22. I was a completely plain guy actually, and I still am. Sure I had (and have) issues and some wierd things that make me unique, but that hardly counts. 22 was a good year for me. I got the crucial first apartment that allowed me to move out of the parent’s house, I got the desk job that allowed me to grow an ablative gut, and I was able to start seriously screwing up my credit rating. All normal things I think.
So my short answer is no, I was not screwed up when I was 22. I was simply me, but 2 years younger.