Whacky recipes that work...

OK…maybe it was the shitty day & the glass of wine I drank while making it…but Damn that was some wild-ass salsa I whipped up today.

Started with the basics:

2 onions freshly chopped
2 cans diced tomatoes
2 cloves garlic (small)
2 Habanero peppers, kinda ripe
2 shakes of virgin olive oil
2 tsp dried cilantro

mixed… but it needed more…

and then, while I was under the influence of wine… I added some wasabe and 1/3 of a glass of Cabernet Souvignon that had been standing too long.

The result:

Its hot enough to satisfy the need for fire…but tasty enough that you could soak bread in it. And it hasn’t even aged overnight yet.

Dear Og, I’ve Created a Monster…! :eek: :smiley: :smiley:

Off to Cafe Society, where recipes (wacky or not) live.

I’ll slip this in while the mods are moving it to the appropriate forum…
I tried to make homemade salsa a couple of weekends ago. I asked an Hispanic coworker how she made hers (it is to die for) and she gave me the ingredients and said to put it in a blender. She uses canned tomatoes but I thought it would be better with fresh ones and found the ripest ones I could but they weren’t very juicy.

I spend a good hour and a half cleaning and chopping everything- boy, that cilantro (tastes like soap) is a bitch to cut, huh? I get all ready, I mix everything up in a big huge bowl, and put into it into the blender for about thirty seconds.

Ew. It turned pink and frothy and I couldn’t even bring myself to try it. It just looked so nasty, not like you want salsa to look. It’s still sitting in the big huge bowl at the bottom of the fridge. I have got to throw that out.
Turns out you’re only supposed to turn the blender on for a second or two. Plus I’m sure the fresh tomatoes with their pink flesh inside didn’t help.
Maybe I’ll try again soon. I’m glad you were so much more successful!

I have done just that with the same disgusting results. Let me give you a tip however. Don’t try to cover the mistake up with red food coloring.

Now that made me laugh soooo hard.

Toss it into a pot with some chicken broth and you’ll have a lovely soup.

Hmmm. But…what if you poured it over pasta that had been boiled too long?

(…have any in-laws you just don’t like…? :eek: :smiley: )

Not as sophisticated, thought-out or wine-inspired as your recipe, Count Blucher, but I found I could make a decent salsa substitute in a pinch today using leftover tomato and basil sauce, Arizona Gunslinger habanero sauce, and a drop of Blair’s Sudden Death sauce. It was OK, but the things I would change if I could (I just threw together what I could find in the house, as I don’t have enough money to pick up any more ingredients):

Substitute jalapeno sauce for habanero sauce.
Substitute cilantro for basil (that one’s pretty obvious).
Add a squirt or two of lime juice.

But apparently what I really needed was wasabi and Cabernet Souvignon. :smiley: Hey, I’ll give it a try–sounds like you scored a winner!

If you think that cilantro tastes like soap, I can’t help but wonder if you’d like that salsa even better without it. From everything I’ve heard, it only tastes like soap to people with a certain gene, and those people almost universally hate salsa. Of all the people I’ve known who perceived cilantro that way, you and my former roommate are the only ones who can stand salsa.

I know about the gene thing- I tell people about it all the time. When I first moved here from back East, I thought I kept getting salsa in bowls that hadn’t been thoroughly rinsed! But, as you undoubtedly know, authentic Sonoran mexican food has lots of cilantro, I’ve lived here for 11 years, and I’ve gotten used to it.

What I wanted was to replicate my coworker’s salsa, and it has cilantro.

Fair enough! BTW, while I lived in Tucson (only for a few months) I don’t believe I ever experienced “authentic Sonoran food”. I mean, I ate at Cafe Sonora in the Student Union plenty, and it was decent and certainly Sonora-inspired, but I’m sure there are more legitimate restaurants in the area that are characteristically Sonoran. Any recommendations for the next time I’m there?

Edit: Although I eat plenty of it, I couldn’t tell you what it tastes like to save my life. In Baja California[-inspired] cuisine it seems to be present only in the salsa.

Well, if you wanted to get all fancy you could go to Mi Nidito on fourth- Bill Clinton enjoys it a lot, or El Charro (a few locations, I think), or La Parilla Suiza on Speedway. If you wanted to go cheap, there are small chains like Los Betos or Paco’s- extremely tiny places, some of them only drive-thru or walk-up, but they are literally everywhere and dirt cheap.

One of my favorite things, though, are Sonoran Dogs. A hot dog wrapped in bacon, placed in a bun on top of pinto beans, covered with chopped tomatoes, chopped onions, grilled onions, jalepeno relish, mustard, and mayonnaise. I don’t even like hot dogs, but man I love these things. You can find those all over the south side at stands in parking lots or at a eat-in restaurant called BKs on 1st and Glenn.

ETA: sorry for the hijack, OP!

I wasn’t impressed by Los Betos, although I only went there once. I’ll give the other ones a try.

BTW, the California burrito at Los Betos was pretty much what I expected (except for way too much pico), but I clearly remember there being Arizona, Texas, Colorado and a few other states’ burritos on the menu too. I couldn’t get clear answers from anyone as to what the difference was (though I don’t remember if I actually asked an employee). Googling was expressly useless. What’s in those things? Are they recognized under those names outside of Los Betos?

Edit: My apologies as well for the hijack. Alice the Goon, if you’d feel more comfortable taking this conversation to email, feel free.

Have you had the salsa at La Indita down on 4th Ave? I swear that restaurant is a reason to move to Tucson all by itself…

Ew LosBetos is gross. :stuck_out_tongue: Nico’s is where it’s at for your short-order 24 hour tiny hole in the wall Mex fix! If you want more upscale, El Parador on Broadway is very good. As I said in my last post, La Indita on 4th Ave (near University) is reason enough to move to the city. It is one of the few things I miss (I lived there for 25 years).

Los Betos is gross, I agree. There’s one right across the street from my house and I haven’t been there in a couple of years. I like Paco’s at Grant and Craycroft for cheap and dirty, but it’s a pain to get in and out of and go east. Their omelette burro is so freaking good. El Indio at the freeway and S. 6th is not fancy at all but one of the best- I just remembered that one. I don’t think I’ve ever been to La Indita.

:eek: :eek: :eek:
You’re going. Like, tomorrow. Ok? stern look
Make sure to sit in the second room, off to the right…not the first one (the wood paneled one not the mural one) because it’s just nifty.

Is it just me, or is a Tucson Dopefest clearly in order? :smiley:

Back to the OP’s recipe: I’d be interested to hear how it ages over the course of a couple of days, if you don’t eat it all first. Real wasabe loses its heat within a day or so – the hot-tasting chemical is very volatile. However, a lot of the wasabe sold these days is not pure: it gets some of its kick from other sources, and for all I know might be longer lasting.

Sounds inspired, though.

Totally.

(Sorry for the hijack, or the continuation thereof. Continue, please.)

I hate cilantro, but salsa is supposed to have a slightly soapy taste … :smiley:

Actually in a good salsa, nothing sticks out and whaps you in the face, it is balanced. Tomatoey, peppery and herby. Luckily most commercial mild salsa doesnt overdo the cilantro.