• Read a map. And navigate in a city to which you’ve never been, using said map. (Reading your GPS screen counts. It’s still a map.)
• Have it figured out how to spend your paycheck on savings, then pay your bills,* then* blow what’s left over (if anything) on whatever. I know so many people who just spend money as they get it and then panic when the rent comes due, as if it was a surprise that the same amount of rent (or cable or phone or whatever) is due each month. I dated a guy who decided he just had to have a ukelele right friggin’ now. And a week later, his cable and internet got shut off because he didn’t pay the bill. I asked him, “Didn’t you know the bill was due? Then why did you spend your money on the uke when you knew you wanted to keep using your TV and internet?”
• How to figure out when you need medical care and access it. I’ve known many 20-somethings who had to call their mommies to get doctor’s appointments made. I watched a girl whine to her mommy to make an appointment for her because she didn’t seem to know how to use her insurance card, find a provider, and pick up the phone to make a damn appointment (and then use a friggin’ map to get to the office). She was 26, worked full time and had her own medical insurance.
I’m a guy, not counting my grade school uniform, I have own 1 suit wore it once to my high school gradation (which was a waste of time & money) and never again. I’ve never been to a funeral and just 1 wedding. Life is funny that way.
However I do know how to give a blowjob and I think all men should too.
You don’t. If you are going to have ONE dress in your closet, a LBD is an OK choice, but actually, I would say not a good one - I wouldn’t wear a LBD to a wedding or a funeral (wedding, black is the problem - funeral, its the little part), but I’m old fashioned. Its a bad choice for a job interview. And you don’t need a dress at all, like men, a pair of charcoal grey dress slacks and a nice shirt can get you through every occasion. And if you are of the “no one should care how I dress” group of people - you don’t need that - your jeans and a t-shirt will get you through life.
Depending on your socio-economic class, your activities, and how old fashioned you are, if you have ONE dress up dress, you really want one simple dress in a sober hue (i.e probably blue) that you can dress up with colorful accessories for a wedding, turn into a dress for a party with funky shoes and nylons, pair with a jacket for a job interview, and wear sober with conservative jewelry to a funeral. That doesn’t describe an LBD (of which I own…three…and which are great for holiday parties or date nights - but that’s a small part of my life).
Another vote for women needing to know the exact same things as men. This absolutely includes the female reproductive system, and women need to understand the male plumbing.
Here is my list, and trying hard not to repeat stuff:
basic first aid & healthcare
the ability to politely refuse, negate, contradict, turn down etc while still making the point clear
simple manners appropriate to the society/culture
basic childcare (Definitely not gendered! It might not apply to everyone, but by 25 most people should be OK if left alone with a child of any age)
have had at least one job in which they were successful
a sense of humour
a second language
a little bit of savings in the bank
kindness and understanding for everyone, even when you disagree
1 thing you are really good at cooking, that you are really proud of
based on recent experience: the difference between a cow and a goat!
Have the ability to make at least 10 different amazing sandwiches.
Try a case in court.
Appeal a case.
Take a deposition.
Perform a tracheotomy.
Perform bookkeeping.
Drive a car.
Host a reality show.
Argue that anything is the fault of the nearest male.
Conduct a prostate exam.
This does not really surprise me. No one **ever **knows what my guinea pig is. I’ve gotten hamster, gerbil, rat, CAT, and one time a lady from my apartment building said “aww, is that a baby?” I looked at her questioningly and she said, a little embarrassed, “Well, I mean, a baby DOG, of course!”
Haha, this guy said, after my lengthy explanation: “So, a goat is a small cow?”
Also, sign a cheque?! I haven’t seen one in years. They aren’t even accepted in the Netherlands anymore. In England I hear of them occasionally, but they are effectively history. Better to know how to safely conduct your online banking.
Depends on the man, but yeah, most everything I came up with were things that an adult of either gender should know (how to cook, how to clean, how to wash dishes by hand…).
The only woman-specific things I can think of would pertain specifically to female reproductive health, i.e. bits that men just don’t have. Even then, a lot of it is “Be assertive enough to ask the doctor questions,” which is also a skill that men should have.
Even self-defense/situational awareness – it’s probably more important for women, but I wouldn’t call it unimportant for men. Perhaps learning how to over-ride our unfortunate conditioning to “be nice” and “not make a scene” when the situation requires, since men have less of that conditioning to deal with.
I have, btw, got along just fine never haven’t learned stick-shift, and at this point I don’t have a car at all, now (and my car share program only uses automatic cars).
She know that tools are to be used for the purpose they are designed for.
She should know that a table knife is not to used as a pry bar.
She should know that a screw driver is not to be used to stir paint.
She should know enough to return tools to the tool box from whence they came.
I was thinking of you with the face’s point on fertility cycle. And I’ll agree with a change. By 25 every woman should have a system for dealing with when she is fertile. That system is going to depend on her requirements. If she is on the pill, she might not need to worry about unprotected sex (not any more than a man would with STDs). If she is willing to take all the children God gives her, that’s a system. Celibacy is a system. If her system is “use a condom and not have sex when I ovulate” that’s a system - that one requires understanding her actual fertility peaks. The only non system at 25 is “gee, I hope I don’t get pregnant.”
Here’s a couple of things I think are essential for someone of either gender that haven’t been mentioned yet:
Be able to select appropriate clothes for the occasion. If they then deliberately choose to wear inappropriate clothes, that’s their own business.
Be able to scream, yell, or otherwise Make A Lot Of Noise when needed. I used to choke and be completely unable to speak when sufficiently frightened. Got over it with the help of an opera singer.
Do basic research on the cost of expensive items. (I know a self-proclaimed genius who was recently paying $800 rent per month… not including utilities or food… for a single room in a friend’s house… in an isolated rural area. He should have been paying maybe a quarter of that. Dude didn’t even take a glance at Craigslist by way of price comparison.)
Be able to play ‘Jingle Bells’ on at least one instrument. (Your definition of ‘essential’ may vary.)
I’m gonna agree with this. If a person doesn’t know the first thing about guns, that person should not touch guns, or hang around with Dick Cheney. Well, nobody should hang around with Cheney, really.
And I don’t think it’s a good idea to encourage stalkers.
I know very, very little about car maintenance, as my husband enjoys fiddling with cars. But I do know that some car problems are emergencies, and should be treated as such.
Hell, my husband is 100% male, and he STILL doesn’t know this shit. He also doesn’t know that using my GOOD sewing scissors to cut carpeting with is a hanging offense. However, he has learned that if he uses my GOOD sewing scissors and messes them up, I will just use HIS credit card to buy myself another pair these days. And he gets to keep the old ruined scissors.
As for general advice for adults…I’d say that it’s a bad idea to get romantically or sexually involved with a married or committed person. The married person is a cheater, and will either go back to his/her SO, or will break up with the SO. And now you have a cheater for an SO. If s/he cheated WITH you, s/he will cheat ON you, as a general rule. My sister’s ex cheated on her, his girlfriend believed him when they got married, and now this new wife is astonished that he’s running around on her.
Is this list being prepared for a relative, godchild, daughter of a close family friend, etc.? Because while information about the fun part of sex (as opposed to the health/fertility aspect) is certainly important, “You need to know how to give good head!” could be very disturbing coming from someone in a parental-esque role.
How to budget
How to invest
How to change a tire
How to say no
How to spot a keeper
How to spot a tossback
How to be assertive
How to negotiate
How to know when to toss in the towel
How to be positive without being in denial
Along the same lines of what other posters said: When your internal radar is pinging that your safety is an issue, GTFO. It is shocking to me how many women I’ve talked to you the past year who don’t know this.
Either that or “I thought it was a bit strange, but I didn’t want to be rude.” Yeah, honey? Predators do that on purpose. They’re counting on you not wanting to appear rude. When those inner alarm bells go off, go ahead and be rude.
