Manners, Self-Confidence, Prayers.
Values: Patience and self-control (as has been covered by others already).
Skill: How to swim.
Put the phone down.
Avoid STD’s.
I would encourage them to cultivate a charming personality. Good manners, ability to engage fully in conversation, good sense of humor. If you’re charming enough, you can get away with a ton of other personality flaws.
Teach them that you are the boss. If you make a threat, make sure you back it up. If you do this when they are very young, like by age three, you will spare yourself a lot of heartache.–From my sister, mother of 8.
As for me, mother of nobody, teach them how to behave in public.
Teach them respect by respecting them. Which includes respecting their natural selves. You may not have a reader. Its great to encourage reading, but if you aren’t successful, then drop it - trust me, all the books in the world are just going to teach your non-reader that his parents wish he was something he isn’t - and THAT is a parenting mistake its hard to recover from. You can encourage them to engage their brains, but eventually they will reach the limits of what they are capable of processing (at least at that age) and you need to respect that limit - because if you push too hard, your kid won’t learn to think, he’ll learn his parents think he’s dumb. i.e. set them up for success.
Let them fail - learning to fail is important, but don’t let them fail by setting them up to not meet Mom and Dad’s expectations for who they should be.
Situational awareness and taking note of the other people in their environment. Do you see those adults wandering around, apparently oblivious of how their actions are perceived by others? Not just big things, but not noticing that they’re irritating others by blocking an aisle with their shopping cart or shouting into their phone in public or drifting out in front of cars that have to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting them? Their parents didn’t teach them that.
Try everything. Starts with taking a bite of food even if you don’t like it. One day you might find to your surprise you like something new, or that you now like something that you previously didn’t. This can apply to most things in life.
Please
Thank You
You’re Welcome.
Clean up after yourself.
Make your bed.
Brush your teeth, floss, and mouthwash.
Cook own meals.
Savings account
Chores. (with allowance.)
And there is no fucking Santa Claus!
My kid turned out fairly unscathed.
Regarding the importance of reading up thread.
Our mom was a school teacher. I took to reading.
My brother couldn’t get into readin’ and writin’. But, there was absolutely nothing, he couldn’t fix! His philosophy was, “If man created it, man can fix it.” Not being sexist, “man” meaning human.
How to manage money and to learn about interest rates. Kids absorb things like a sponge and teaching them about real life dealings will prove to be priceless later on. I was taught very young to save money, though it did make me a bit frugal, I can manage money like champ and know how to deal with interest rates.
So many adults let interest rates screw them over in regards to monthly payments vs bi-monthly , it’s disturbing. Please everyone, teach your kids how to keep their coins, in check and how to avoid unnecessary spending.
I just wish someone taught me about IRA’s and investing before I became an adult.
I tried to keep in mind my long-term goal- to raise healthy, happy, competent adults that I could turn loose on the world.
Some things (and rules) I included, in to particular order:
No “dirty” fighting (name calling, physical acts, etc.)- Only fair fights. If you are going to do or say something you could regret, just walk away. You can pick it up again later if necessary.
Always be polite. Even if you are polite to someone who doesn’t ‘deserve’ it, you have done the right thing.
Money- budget and save. Save 10% minimum and more if you can. Early lessons had me open them a savings account and budget practice started with Christmas shopping. At around 6 years of age, I would give the kids an envelope with cash (not credit, debit, or gift cards), an index card, and a pencil. They had to decide who would be on their Christmas shopping list, do some math to figure out how much they could spend per person, and they got to ‘keep the change.’
When spending money, ask yourself “Is this a want or a need?”. It’s OK to buy things you just want, but not if it will hurt your ‘needs’ budget.
This. I love the Miss Manners books by Judith Martin. Wise, witty, real, useful. To other people, your intentions are not what counts ; what counts is what comes across. So, pleasant social skills and manners are indeed very important.
I am a mom, and i am surprised to find what I teach my kids. I mean, what I really teach, not just what I mention in passing. I teach my kid that traffic is a very serious and dangerous thing, an that a fatal accident can happen in an instant of not paying attention.
I also teach him the dangers of clutter, and the importance of not filling your space with bought stuff.
For most other values and social skills stuff, i just read the Berenstein books to him. I know they’re eighties relics, but my son loves them and I like what they teach.
“Hopefully the idiocy would have tired out by then but if some confronts you about what you’re doing being “too white,” pull out a gun.”
I would say :
- Ten Commandments (age appropriate)
- Manners
- Accepting responsibility.
- Good work ethic
- personal finance