I don’t need to remind anyone that it is an election year. I have a question, in this year’s election here at home we are going to be electing someone to be coroner. Looking at the signs posted on the roads, I’m guessing that there are several candidates. It makes me wonder, what are the advantages of being coroner? Personally, I can’t see the advantages of being an elected offical at all except for the potential for graft and it makes me wonder, why would someone want to be coroner? First dibs on the good swag left over by the deceased, choice parts of the deceased, or is there something else that I am missing?
It depends on where you live, but you get to be a semi-police officer and carry a gun. Also you can arrest the sheriff. Heck, now I want to run!
No risk of losing a patient (except literally, of course).
[Dennis Miller]
Oh Christ, honey, I gained one on the table today…
[/DM]
You get to find out the role and alignment of recently deceased before the rest of the town. Whether or not you chose tho share than information, and when, is up to you.
Reminds me of something I overheard on the radio when I was working rescue:
*“Rampart General to Dody-Bo Ambulance, can we have an update on your patient?”
“Dody-Bo Ambulance to Rampart General, please stand by, we have lost our patient.”
“Rampart General to Dody-Bo Ambulance, what EXACTLY do you MEAN when you say you have lost your patient?”
“The back door came open, and we LOST him!”*
You mostly don’t get first choice of swag. That goes to the cops or EMTs. You do probably have first shot at gold teeth and fillings.
You could have a lot of fun reporting interesting causes of death. “Stomped by Godzilla” would be one of my favorites.
But the big minus is that if the Werewolves don’t devour your, a Vampire will.
Eventually, you can have an entire jar full of bellybuttons.
Free lunch.
I once asked a coronor that very question. He liked figuring out what killed people, got to work on some interesting cases and yes, he did mention not liking having to worry about his patients dying.
It is a needed service. I’d be a coronor before I’d be a dentist.
Thomas Noguchi had a bunch…well, til he was caught.
You get to poke dead bodies with a stick and no one can tell you not to.
You could probably be a very happy closet necrophiliac for quite a while until you do something stupid.
You get some of the fun of medicine without having to deal with actual people or the bizarre vagaries of complex living systems.
Surgeons get all kinds of hell for puking into an open chest cavity. Coroners cover it with kitty litter and call it a day.
Neurology textbooks don’t mention anything about doggy bags but everyone expects you to just know they aren’t allowed. Coroners don’t have that problem.
You get full appreciation of the life works of the most avant garde artists working today. The book deals alone will make you millions. (Note: This works best in areas where ‘Wayne’ is a common middle name.)