I’m sorry to admit that I have brain cells that are being wasted by containing this information, but The Archies were Ron Dante(?) who went on to…well…remarkably similar things with a group called The Cufflinks, who had a modest hit with a song called “Tracy”.
Fenris
Has anyone read Dave Barry’s “Bad Songs”? (I think that’s the title of the book).
His all-time worst was MacArthur Park, which has already been nominated. (But which version? Personally, Richard Harris’ mutilation of this was the epitome of bad.)
My own personal gag-me-with-a-chainsaw? Muskrat Love. (Again, probably from the 70’s, but still a NASTY piece of song.)
“I think it’s so groovy now…” and “Signs” bad? Oh man, you’re treading on sacred ground.
I nominate “Build Me Up Buttercup” (1969) for worst song…ever…because it has stupid lyrics, no message, and no beat:
Why do you build me up
(Build me up) Buttercup
baby just to let me down – hey, at least she builds him up
(Let me down)
And mess me around – mess me around?! What?!
And then worst of all
(Worst of all)
You never call baby
When you say you will – that’s the worst thing he can say about his baby?
(Say you will)
But I love you still
I need you (I need you)
More than anyone darlin’
You know that I have from the start – then stop complaining
So build me up
(Build me up) Buttercup
Don’t break my heart
I think the lyricist must have been bonking a hippie chick named “Buttercup” and decided to write a song with her name in it, and the only rhyme he could come up with was “up” and “Buttercup”. God, it’s just freaking idiotic.
Yup. That’s where I got the idea for this thread. But he’s focusing on bad songs, I wanted irritating. And so far, we’ve got quite the bunch of irritating songs.
(btw; thanks just loads, Kunilou: Now I’ve got “Reach out in the darkness” stuck in my head. Aargh.) 
Fenris
I’m Henry the eighth I am
Henry the eighth I am, I am
I got married to the widow next door
She’s been married seven times before
And every one was an Henry (Henry)
She wouldn’t have a Willy or a Sam (no Sam)*
I’m her eighth old man, I’m Henry
Henry the eighth I am
Second verse same as the first
(repeat ad nauseum)
NEVER allow a small child within earshot of this song if you value your sanity.
cheers,
Hodge
Even as a Boston liberal, I always thought Southern Man was an annoying piece of tripe, both for the music and the message. Simplistically self-righteous lyrics, repetiive music and Neil Young’s whiny screeching. Yech.
–sublight.
[loop]
[set field n: 1]
[exit loop if: n=1,000,000,000]
[sing text:
“I’m get-ting clo-ser to my worrrrrrrrld…”]
[set field n: n+1]
[end loop]
“A-B-C-1-2-3” by the Jackson 5. Granted, I liked the song for a long time–until I taught it to a 4 year old.
This is what I got to hear for hours on end…
“ABC! 123! ABC! 123! ABC! 123!” (ad infinitum!)
(All sung in a very high-pitched, off-key voice!)
I know it’s a classic and all, but I hate “Under My Thumb”. It makes me cringe every time I hear it.
Come on, everybody sing!
“If you’re going to San Francisco,
Wear some flour in your hair…”
Flowers, whatever.
Excuse me, I have to puke…
“Denise” by Randy and the Rainbows
'Nuff Said.
'Nuff said.
Marc
I’d like to start by agreeing with everyone who posted before me. 'Cept for the guy who said “everything by the Who”. I would say only most things. “I Can’t Explain” for example is an excellent song. Anyway:
“I Started a Joke” by the Bee Gees.
What about this song is not irritating?
You’d think that the bad memories were bad enough the first time around.
Good point!
You win.
“Doo Wah Diddy,” by Manfred Mann. It’s a little-known fact, but there is actually, for each person, a specific number of times that they are able to listen to this song. I don’t know precisely what mine is, but I can tell you it’s one less than the number of times I had heard it before it came on the radio this morning.
Other candidates:
Anything by the Grass Roots, but particularly “Let’s Live For Today.”
“Get Together,” by the Youngbloods. It wasn’t really any good then, and it isn’t good now. (Ever notice how much puerility was mistaken for profundity then?)
drpepper: You need to hear Aimee Mann’s version of “One,” from the Magnolia soundtrack.
tracer: The Yardbirds? Are you nuts? Before they went pop with “For Your Love,” they were some of the best English blues stylists around! Every rock fan should own Five Live Yardbirds.
An “electrical banana” is a vibrator.
I pretty much like all the songs nominated, except “Doo Wah Diddy”. I’ve gottent to the point I want to give myself a lobotomy when I hear it. Shudders
I hate all of the Supremes songs. The message drives me crazy. “You treat me like shit, and cheat on me, but come back to me baby, cuz I need you.” :rolleyes:
How can you hate “Build me Up Buttercup?” It’s not a great song, but it’s got a good beat you can dance too. 
GAH! That is definately the worst song ever. I like almost all of the others that have been mentioned, and have mp3s of a lot of them.
Damn! jaimest beat me to Donovan!
I’ll have to echo pepperlandgirl…I kinda LIKE some of those dippy pseudo-psychedelic kissable-hippie-chick pop songs like “Buttercup” and “Windy” and “Incense and Peppermints” and “Along Comes Mary” and the Stones’ “Dandelion.” I get a big ol’ dopey grin on my face when they come on the radio.
It’s the ponderous and pretentious ones that get my gorge up…so my pick is not Dononvan’s “Mellow Yellow” but the truly horrific “Atlantis.”