Fond greetings, fellow citizens…
Did you ever hear a song that is so irritating that it can cause a seizure or some other physical or mental side effect?
I think perhaps the worst I have heard is “My way” by Sid Vicious. Have any ideas? List them here…
“Last Kiss.”
I usually lose consciousness if that song comes on when I’m in earshot. I hear the first notes, then wake up on the floor, no memory of what’s happened in between. My friends have told me that I usually begin screaming and beating my head in to the wall, which would explain the headaches when I awaken.
My friends also say that I’ve committed acts that were outlawed by the Geneva Convention while under the influence of “MacArthur Park.” No one is willing to tell me precisely what I’ve done, though. They just pat my hand and say “it’s okay, dear. It wasn’t your fault. That song really does suck bad.”
Max Torque shared a song with me that is so bad, it defies imagination.
“Howdy Hootie Sapperticker” by Barbara and the Boys.
Also, “Timothy” by the Buoys. It’s a song about a mine that collapsed, leaving three men stranded; two of whom ate the third. What makes it truly bad is it’s so upbeat it’s surreal.
Robin
Let’s see if I can keep this under 12 septillion words. Surely I can this once.
Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart by Elton John and Kiki Dee. ::insert retching sounds here::
I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston. It makes me want to rip my ears off of my head. I thought only dogs should be able to hear that screaming maniac.
Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Joe Cyrus. Shut UP. Just shut UP, you complete ass.
Unchained Melody by The Righteous Brothers. I don’t even wanna talk about it, much less DANCE to it. Can we say, “This horse is DEAD…move ON!?”
I have dozens and dozens more. I’ll be sure to check in later to add to the list. I am a major nit-picker when it comes to my music. These are just the ones that immediately came to mind.
Ah, yes, Dave Barry touched upon “Timothy” in his book about bad songs. As I recall, the only redeeming thing about the song he could figure out was that at least it wasn’t titled “Yummy Yummy Yummy, I’ve Got Timmy In My Tummy.”
The other song might’ve been in the book, too.
cliff richards’ goddamn ‘millennium prayer’ and elton johns’ ‘candle in the wind 97’
how do i like them biscuits?
they taste bitter in my mouth.
**skaffen_amiskaw **, your sig includes MY least-loved song! “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFarrin (?)… Aaaarrrggghhhh! Hatehatehate!:mad:
Nearly laughed myself into a seizure when it cam on Homer Simpson’s car radio slightly altered: “I’m worried; need money!”
Stevie Wonder’s “I just called to say I love you.” AAAARRRGGGHHH!
Virtually anything by Elton John after the “Single Man” album.
Debbie Boone’s schlocko hit. Can’t recall the exact title, nor do I want to.
Anything currently sung by Aqua, Venga Boys, all that terrible, terrible ilk …
Gotta be “Manic Monday” by The Bangles, “Video Killed the Radio Star” by somebody I can’t remember (YAY!), and anything by Billy Joel.
"My Baby Takes the Morning Train" by Sheena Easton (I think). I cannot listen to this song all the way through without furiously scratching at my ears in a desperate attempt to amputate them. Radio stations in my town still play this song, Oh God, why?
“I’ve never been to me” by some one-named babette in the 70s. (Charlene?).
“I’ve been undressed by kings,
And I’ve seen some things,
That a woman just ain’t s’possed to see,
I’ve been to paradise,
But I’ve never been to me”
Wish I could expunge that from my mind, but it’s burned in there.
And a close runner up . . .
“To all the girls I loved before” by Waylon and Julio.
Yech.
I like the Eagles. I love “Hotel California”. But I HATE “Lyin’ Eyes!” Loatheloatheloathe the thing …!!!
And “Astronomy Domine” by Pink Floyd. That sticks out like a derelict on the Pulse album.
One version was by the Buggles. It was a rare case of two versions getting significant airplay at the same time. But I forget who did the second version. Personally, I love this song!
The second version is by The Presidents of the United States of America. I like the song, too.
I’ve been to paradise,
But I’ve never been to me"
So that’s where that came from? One of the guys on MST3K threw that at Hercules – the Steve Reeves version when he was looking particularly buff and oiled – on and I wondered just what the heck that was about.
Some of the pop ones like “Morning Train” and “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” I don’t mind anymore. It’s a cheezy pleasure listening to them since I had forgotten just how twee these lyrics were (and, let’s face it, after years of grunge and punk and heavy guitar reverb, it’s nice to actually hear words again!)
Except for “Cats in the Cradle.” I can’t stand Top 10 radio so I’ve missed a lot of the current ones – I’ve never heard MMMMBoP, for example, so I have to reach back to get that sh-- that “hit” I mean. That one still induces automatic cringing in the grocery store aisles. Nope, can’t touch that. Don’t want to.
pesch
Yep. Heard the PUSA version, too. But that’s not the one I was talking about. At the time it went top 40, way back in the decade we sometimes call “the seventies”, there were actually two versions of the song getting airplay at the same time. Can’t think of another time that’s ever happened.
No song that has ever been recorded or WILL ever be recorded could possibly be as bad as “In The Year 2525,” which IIRC was by someone called Zagger and Evans. It is not possible to make a song worse than “In The Year 2525.” When I hear that song, self-decapitation seems like a plausible avenue of excape.
You should check out the Laibach cover of that song, a great ode to a crappy ass song.
You should listen to merzbow. Absolutely godawful from the get go.
Some more for the pot (suggested by a friend):
“Twisting by the Pool” and “Walk of Life” – Dire Straits.
“Hold On Tight To Your Dreams” – ELO
Any ABBA song at all.
“Lady in Red” by Chris deBurgh
“It’s a Beautiful Day” – by U2