What songs do absolutely hate?

This may have been done recently, but I have to vent.

Sugar Ray is driving me mad. MAD!!!

Fly is the worst song EVER!!! Yeah, it’s a little catchy, but it has gawd-awful lyrics.

All around the world statues crumble for me
who knows how long I’ve loved you

and

Twenty-five years old, my mother, God rest her soul!

It makes me wretch. Horrible! And that nasty sounding guitar!!!
What about you? Which radio-friendly songs draw your ire?

All Time winner:

Steve Miller’s “The Joker”.

That “whistling” guitar lick makes me want to stab eyeballs.

I’ll see you that “Joker” and raise you one “With My Own Two Hands” by Ben Harper.

I am totally not jumping on an anti-Avril bandwagon…but, yeah. “Complicated” makes me want to impale myself on a dull roasting fork.

God!

That Cher song, um, Believe or something, and R. Kelly’s I Believe I Can Fly. I believe they can both take a flying leap off a cliff. And why are radio stations even playing the music of a pedophile like him anyway?

Pretty much any song that counts as “top 40” these days - most are insipid, repetitive, derivitive, and just plain awful. I recently heard part of the new Sugar Ray song and it made me want to destroy things - it was a horrible, dancy-poppy song that infuriated me. And I’m someone who hated “Fly” and “Every Morning” with a passion - they’re great compared to this one.

But the worst song ever, bar none, is “All Star” by Smash Mouth. My hatred for this song knows no bounds, especially since it keeps getting used in car commercials and other such crap far past its expiration date. I seriously cannot believe that anyone would think that this song is good and interesting enough to be used in any commercial fully three years after it came out (and it was awful then). This song made me hate Shrek.

Horse With No Name makes me want to jab knitting needles into my eardrums.

Worse than Every Morning? Can’t be.

I hate that one too. That sickly sounding guitar lick irks me.

Twang twang twang…twaaang ta-ta-ta twang twang

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!

*I saw her today at the reception…

She’s lump (or whatever) she’s lump she’s lump she’s in my head…

Killing me Softly*

©rap

Mariah Carey vocal style, male or female
Warbling ooOOoo, displaced beats, and a UHu~u~u~uh cross between orgasm and indigestion.

Remakes of good songs done this way: after all that you have been through, I will make it up to you…

I heard some rap that’s more like the dissing that pro “wrestlers” do to each other.
Another rap ‘song’ with a nasal guy whining about his sex life – and he sounds ten years old.

Ditto Chorizo!

No to Labdad. I don’t know what the song MEANS, but I like it.

Sittin’ on the dock of the Bay saying nothing.

One word: Macarena

The recent Top 40 song “Follow Me” by Uncle Kracker causes me to hate life…for some reason, my mind insists on associating it with “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter,” by Herman’s Hermits, another horrible, horrible song that gets way too much airplay (albeit pretty much only on the oldies stations these days). I don’t know why the one song makes me think of the other; maybe it’s the whiny, warbly, mush-mouthed delivery, the generally hateful lyrics, or the too-chirpy, bubblegum pop-style music… other than that, the songs aren’t terribly similar.

I’ve always found Bob Seager’s “Blame it on Midnight” to be excrable. “Until you’ve been beside a man you don’t know who he knows?” What utterly shitty lyrics.
Also Niel Diamonds “I am I said.” “And no one heard at all not even the CHAIR???”

I would nominate Boyz II Men’s awful “I’ll Make Love to You” for our hall of shame. They started life as an inoffensive little harmony group and morphed into something far more sinister.

Marvin Gaye must have rolled over in his grave hearing their version of seductive lyrics. If memory serves me correctly the verse went something like:
[italics]
Girl put your clothes on the floor.
And I’ll take my clothes off toooooo.
[/italics]
I guess this was supposed to make young girls swoon. The thought of any of those guys removing even one article of clothing just makes me wretch.

AMEN!!!

I’ll also throw in pretty much anything by Counting Crows, especially that extra heavy with the whiney sauce song, Around Here.

Damn, they suck.

There are just so many!But to keep this short I’ll mention only the song I masochistically and purposely started running through my head in order to induce vomitting(and it worked!)…Bonnie Tyler’s “It’s a Heartache”.

Sk8er Boi is the Avril song that drives me insane. It’s a catchy enough little tune, in a sickeningly cotten candy kinda way, but it’s the lyrics that get me. Absolutely revolting. Yuck.

Last Kiss as covered by Pearl Jam. ‘Oh where, oh where, can my baby be?’ I don’t think I need to say anymore.

I also hate every song ever made by Fat Boy Slim.

“Ah’m proud to bee an Amarikiiiiiin, whar at least Ah know Ah’m freeeeeee.”

I hate hate hate that goddamned John Mayer song “Your Body Is A Wonderland”. It makes me want to stomp on heads.

  1. Kathmandu… good hells, does the freaking song ever end?

  2. Lust for Life… that’s mostly from overexposure.

  3. Almost everything by Billy Joel. Especially “Italian Restaurant.” The thing that makes him worse than Barry Manilow is that everybody seems to love him.

And the winner is:
Anything by Chicago. For a couple of days I had the whiney voice of Peter Cetera stuck in my head, and it dawned on me that this is why people jump out of buildings.