What are the rules for men's stationery?

In My Humble Opinion
1

This might shade into IMHO territory - I’m asking if there are specific rules, but also what common practice is and what you do.

I’m a Southern girl and was born with personalized stationery in my mouth. (We’re new money - I don’t have a spoon pin.) All the women I knew growing up at least had foldover notecards with their names on them, and many had calling cards, letter sheets, etc. You needed them. My mom wrote all my school excuses on hers, not to mention thank you notes, invitations for small dinner parties, etc. When I was a girl I had letter sheets and foldover notes in pink on pink paper, and when I graduated from high school my mom took me to get “real stationery”, i.e., what ladies use - traditional foldover notes. I was wild and crazy and got green printing on my ecru cards.

I whipped them out today (the ones I have now are charcoal on ecru - masculine!) to write a thank-you note for a gift one of Himself’s clients had given me, and he was all, holy crap you have paper with your name on it? And I was all, you don’t? Well, he’s starting to have clients in circles where people are gonna have paper with their names on it. Also, he loves that kind of foppish traditional stuff, and I think he needs some stationery to go with his sock garters.

But are there rules for what a man has? I really only see women with their own stationery, and they write notes for their husbands and such. If he were a lady, I’d say he should start with a set of traditional foldover notes in white or ecru, or she wanted to live wild she could dare dove grey or celadon or something. They’d have her monogram or full name on them, probably in a script typeface. Then, if she wanted something more fun she could get notes or correspondence cards that were more informal, but you need to have your ecru ones hanging around to write thank you notes to clients and your grandmother and assorted other people. (You don’t thank the governor for his lovely dinner party on something lime green and hot pink with daisies.) The stores are just full of those correspondence cards now, but I don’t think they’re appropriate for anything but the most informal of notes. (“Dear Grandma: I love you but I don’t love you enough for more than an index card.”) And then calling cards and letter sheets and maybe stuff like post-its and such, depending on what she needs. Honestly, I’m sure there are people who consider the foldover cards too informal themselves, but let’s move into the Century of the Fruitbat here.

So, is that still true for a man? Should a man use a monogram or his full name? Middle name? Obviously a more masculine typeface is in order, and if you own your own business you wouldn’t have much need for personal cards (although of course they’re nice.) In other words, if I want to get him some nice stationery for Christmas or something, should I go for the ecru notecard with his name in a manly but traditional color, possibly with a border (inked or embossed) but nothing else? That’s what I’d get for a woman - it’s what I’d consider the most basic thing you need to satisfy etiquette. Would that be appropriate for a man as well? What does a traditional man’s stationery wardrobe look like?

2

I really can’t see how this is a GQ with a potential factual answer. Let’s shade it on over to IMHO.

samclem GQ moderator

3

Well, “the rules of etiquette” are a factual matter, in some respects.

4

According to Paul Fussell*, whose analysis is somewhat biased to the northeastern metropolitan USA, monograms for men were regarded as low-class by upper-middle and upper class standards. To paraphrase Fussell, the name of an adult male member of the upper classes should appear hardly anywhere except under the (nearly illegible) signature on his checks. Although I imagine this wouldn’t have applied in the context of business.

*Fussell is a historian and social commentator, not a master of etiquette. His comments are intended to express his evaluation of what he observes, rather than a prescriptive system of behavior.

5

If this link works, it should go to page 592-594 of “Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior” and the article about “Stationery Wardrobe” (if it doesn’t work - you can search on google books for that). I think that’s what you’re looking for.

I used to have double sheet paper - then Crane stopped making it in white.

6

Recently, I asked my college Desktop Publishing class (Photoshop and Illustrator) to design personal business cards and stationery as a simple exercise to finish a class.

Out of 9 students in my class, six of them didn’t know what stationery is!

I tried to explain, but they still didn’t understand. I had to Google a page and put it on the overhead screen to show them.

I guess the idea of actually writing on paper is foreign enough, let alone “special paper” to write upon.

7

According to Crane’s Blue Book, a correspondance card (flat card the same size as a fold-over note) is recommended for men. They can be printed or engraved with an initial, a monogram or a name.

8

I thought men just used a letterhead that said something like “From the Desk Of” or something.

9

Color-wise, the Crane Blue Book says that men’s paper can be white or ecru, printed/engraved with black or blue ink.

10

I’ve always been of the opinion that a gentleman should only have personalised stationery if he has sufficient Social Standing for people to care whose name is on the letterhead.

For example:

From the desk of Fred Bloggs: Pretentious wankery; Unless you find yourself regularly writing to His Excellency The Governor-General or Her Majesty The Queen, and if you’ve got those sort of correspondents you’re probably in the next category anyway…

From the desk of Squadron Leader James Bigglesworth, DSO, DFC, MC and Bar: Important Person who is allowed to have personalised stationery as they might be in regular correspondence with The Archbishop of Canterbury or The Queen or someone equally important.

Business letters are excluded from this sort of thing, of course. That’s an entirely different electric jug of of pisces. :smiley:

11

for personal notes he could use house paper. y’all have house paper, yes?

for business he would use business paper. the correspondance card mentioned above with his name and the business name on it. the princpals, marketing/sales, pms at the firm i work with have these card printed up. they will write a short, some what legible note on them and off it goes into the fedex/usmail.

12

Well, “From the Desk Of…” is not very formal, I’d say.

ETA - and of course he has business letterhead. He needs something for personal (yet often business-related) connections of the thank you and politely decline and sorry about your mom and etc. sort.

13

Man, I’m a Midwestern po’ ass, judging from this thread. I had no idea people get stationery with their name on it as a matter of course these days.

14

I’m fond of the monogram on a correspondence card in dark blue or black ink on ecru for that myself. Alternatively, I like engraved (of course), centered, in a simple classic serif typeface “James Browning” - either along the top - or for the offbeat - along the bottom. If he writes longer letters, notepaper is appropriate. (Correspondence cards should never be used both sides - if you can’t fit what you have to write on the front of the card, use notepaper.

Since all people have social standing, personalized stationary is appropriate for anyone who chooses to use it.

15

Oh dear. Oh dear…I don’t have any personal stationary at all. I haven’t even thought about stationary since high school (1990) when I actually still wrote letters. For whom do I need this special paper? I don’t forsee needing to thank the Governor for dinner, or me sending the President a personal correspondence. I guess I don’t know anybody so high up on the totem pole that I can’t send them an email.

16

You don’t send thank-you notes? Or if you stay overnight at somebody’s house you don’t write them a note afterwards? When somebody dies, you write an e-mail?

17

Well either email or text message. Depends on how close they were.

18

sry yr mom died :frowning: ttyl

19

Mine isn’t personalized (I haven’t replaced them) but I use correspondence cards at work all the time. Sending a note to someone hand written that says “I really appreciated the extra time you took” seems to go over much better than an email that says the same thing (I still send the email, but that goes to their boss with them cc:'d).

A death deserves a real letter - though I admit I very seldom write them.

And thank you notes - though I also don’t universally write those. I write them more often for invitations than for gifts (Thank you for the weekend at the lake…) The people giving me physical gifts are people I feel its appropriate to thank it person (my mother is not a thank you note person).

20

omg 2 bad. sry!!!11