What are the worst movies you've ever seen?

Cafe Society
1

I’ll go first:

Moonraker - The only James Bond flick that I actually hated.

Bats - This just sucked. Giant monster movies went out in the 50s. Let’s keep them there, and never speak of them again.

Eight Legged Freaks - Just like Bats, only with spiders.

The Cell - Just a 90 minute long NIN video. Also:

the detective finds out where the last victim is without going through the serial killer’s mind. So all that messing around in the psycho’s head was pointless, just like this movie.

The Patriot - Too bloodthirsty a movie, and with no point. Also very historically inaccurate. This is considered a War movie, putting it in the same genre as Saving Private Ryan, We Were Soldiers and Battle of the Bulge. It’s sad to see an entire genre disgraced by a single Emmerich flick.

Hollow Man - This movie too, was too bloodthirsty, again for no reason (I know I sound like the CAPalert guy, I just don’t like pointless bloodshed). All this movie is is some guy’s (probably the director) sick rape fantasy.

Anaconda - I have nothing to say about this movie, and if I did try to explain it, I’d have an anerysm.

Space Cowboys - This movie had a good idea, but it ripped off another bad movie, Armageddon. Also, it was really predictable and cliched.

Feeders 2 - Words cannot possibly describe this one. Picture Signs only without the crop circles, the faith thing, and with .00001% the budget. And replace Mel Gibson with some guy named Mark Polonia.

Wishmaster - Just more evidence that Wes Craver should be stuck on a rocket and shot into the center of the Sun. He is the same moron who brought us Jeepers Creepers, and the Scream movies. Wes Craven, I hate you. You are quite possibly the worst filmmaker of the 20th and 21st centuries. Wishmaster had no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I think you should be committed into an asylum for releasing Wishmaster instead of burning all copies of it like the Presidents, Prime Ministers, Chancellors, Kings, Queens, other leaders of the world’s industrial nations, and the Pope advised you to do.

What are yours?

2

Night Of The Lepus

I mean, being terrorised by giant bunny rabbits? :smiley:

3

Movies just don’t get any worse than…

“Mr. Mike’s Mondo Video.” A pathetic effort from “Saturday Night Live’s” least talented writer, Michael O’Donoghue.

4

Pajama Party, featuring Tommy Kirk. It ranks up there with Manos: The Hands of Fate in my book.

5

"The Terror of Tiny Town"
An all midget western musical.
It still boogles my mind that some one some where thought that up and sold the concept.

6

I’ve seen more than my fair share of bad movies… some of which I’ve actually enjoyed (Yor, Hunter From The Future). The one’s that bug the hell out of me are the one’s that are just 90 min. long commercials of which I will mention 3.
Mac and Me - An ET ripoff with the world being saved by Coca-Cola. Gets special mention as it just may be the first big “product placement” movie.
Happy Gilmour - A big Subway ad. Includes a climatic scene where a golf shot fortunately bounces off of a Subway billboard. Also actually contains a Subway ad.
Josie and the Pussycats - Pretends to have this ultracool ironic take on all of the product placement in the movie, but still has more product placement that I have seen in any other movie.

7

Battlefield Earth: Give it a few year and it’ll be a ‘laughably-bad’ cult film.

8

Stroker Ace, ghastly Burt Reynolds stock car racing flick, ‘directed’ by Reynold’s buddy Hal Needham (surely one of the least accomplished directors ever), with Jim Nabors and Squeeze of the Moment Loni Anderson. Makes me queasy just thinking about it.

Howard the Duck, of course, despite a brief glimpse of the young Lea Thompson in her underwear.

Born American, a ludicrous early effort by Renny Harlin that has three US frat boys, who are visiting Finland in winter, for some unknown reason, wander across the Soviet border and are thrown into prison for their troubles. l

9

The Time Machine, the most recent version. What makes it deplorably bad wasn’t the fact that the acting was atrocious, that the Morlocks were about as scary as the Taco Bell Chihuahua, that the plot sucked sour frog ass, or that the friggin’ 7-Up Guy was the best actor of the whole movie… it was the fact that, in stark contrast, the book was so goddamned good. I recommend that you pull out one of your own incisors and use it to slice out your genitalia, rather than watch this movie.

10

Stroker Ace, ghastly Burt Reynolds stock car racing flick, ‘directed’ by Reynold’s buddy Hal Needham (surely one of the least accomplished hacks ever to sit behind the camera), with (gack) Jim Nabors and Burt’s Squeeze of the Moment Loni Anderson. Getting his Method on, Burt spends a significant amount of his screen time dressed up in chicken suit, and essays a bold scene in which he dithers about whether or not to molest a passed-out Anderson. Makes me queasy just thinking about it.

Born American, a ludicrous early effort by Renny Harlin that has three US frat boys, who for some unknown reason are visiting Finland in winter, wander across the Soviet border and get thrown into the Gulag for their troubles. Shedloads of gratuitous violence and torture, deeply bizarre plot points (such as a chess match with prisoners as the pieces) and absofuckinlutely no point whatever.

Howard the Duck, of course, despite a brief glimpse of the young Lea Thompson in her underwear.

Excuse me now while I go soak my brain in Chlorox.

11

Sorry for the partial post earlier. Not sure what happened there.

12

Night of the Comet - A comet kills almost everyone, and the survivors have to fight of mutants. Or was it zombies. I don’t remember.

Hollow Man - Just… baaaaaaaad.

13

“Congo.”

What a waste of celluloid.

14

A serious, pretentious one that wasted some primo acting talent (Julie Christie, Nick Nolte): Afterglow. One of the most boring movies I’ve ever managed to sit through (just barely).

The House of Yes, starring Parker Posey, was wretchedly over-the-top, sensational, and repulsive, with no realistic human interactions or characters.

On the other hand, Night of the Lepus, starring Star Trek’s De Forrest Kelley (“my acting career is dead, Jim”) was a hoot. It demonstrates what all those model train sets on plywood in people’s garages and basements have been lacking all these years: fluffy bunny wabbits hopping lethargically over the model tracks and through the plastic forests and into the miniature high-voltage power lines… :slight_smile:

15

Jeepers Creepers - Quite possibly the most pointless and idiotic horror movie ever made, with a story only made possible by one of the stupidest decisions in movie history. When you see someone dropping what looks like a body down a hole in the middle of nowhere, you don’t go back and look in the hole, you keep going and call the friggin’ cops at the first opportunity!

Very Bad Things - Normally I’m all for black comedy, the darker the better, but something about this movie really turned me off. The only good thing about it is that all the @$$hole characters get what’s coming to them in the end, but even that’s not as satisfying as it could be because the rest of the movie sucks so bad!

Other than those two, I don’t think I’ve ever watched a movie I couldn’t something positive about, something that made it worth watching.

16

Sticking to movies I saw in the theater:

The Siege of Firebase Gloria
Mixed Nuts
Hear No Evil
McHale’s Navy
Platoon Leader
Firebirds
Iron Eagles II
Highlander II
Aliens 3

17

On Deadly Ground

18

City by the Sea-I’m convinced the normally talented actors wasting their time on this piece of trash owed someone somewhere a huge favour, as did any critic who gave it a good review (a surprising number of them did). Utterly horrible. Cliché-ridden enough to make me grind my teeth, but not enough for outright camp. God damn, it was just… awful. Like an example of how not to write/direct/make a film.

19

Did They came From Beyond Space make it to the US?

It featured meteorites landing and creatures coming out to invade people’s brains.

Michael Gough featured as “The Master Of The Moon”

Delightfully awful!

20

An old Tom Hanks movie called The Burbs was so boring and generally stupid I almost walked out. Someone mentioned Highlander II already, a very disappointingly bad movie. I cna’t think of anything ore recent–but I don’t go to as many movies anymore, so my chances of going to a truly bad movie are diminished.