Supernova . I want those three hours of my life back. I could have used them more constructively, like picking my nose.
While it was pretty bad, I rather enjoyed the “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” segment.
Probably because I’m a steve martin fan.
I was so utterly disappointed with Life as a House. It was such trite, predictable crap. And I so looked forward to it.
I know I’ve seen some other bad movies, but I think I’ve repressed those memories.
These are the movies I gave a 1 to at the IMDB:
Reefer Madness — We’re talkin’ sub-Ed Wood production values here.
Mon Oncle d’Amérique— The most painful merde I ever attempted to sit through in my life. Ugh. I want my money back.
Also, I thought Performance sucked, but it wasn’t in the same class that the above two were.
But the original Solaris directed by Andrei Tarkovsky was a magnificent work of sublime genius. Seriously. It does not belong in this thread. Sure, it wouldn’t have suffered by having at least a half hour cut from the early part of it, but once it got going, it was the greatest SF movie ever. I haven’t seen the remake. If all you’ve ever seen is Schwartzenegger action movies, of course you will not appreciate the slow, contemplative pace of a Tarkovsky masterpiece like this one. Tarkovsky made films for thinkers.
Two films.
-
Megaforce - Came out in 1982, stars Barry Bostwick wearing skintight lycra and driving missle-shooting, flying motorcycles. I cring at the thought.
-
Freejack - Emilio Esteves and Mick Jagger face off! Who thought this was a good idea? And did anyone ever notice, (those of you unfortunate enough to have sat through this movie), that in the scene where Emilio is running up the stairs of his old home, he runs up about seven flights of stairs, while the outside shot was of a TWO-story building!
My votes for absolute worst ever:
Ben: A lunatic/loser sits in his house and befriends a herd (swarm? flock? clutch? Actually, I think the technical term is ‘shitload’) of rats.
and Eyes Wide Shut. As beautiful as Nicole Kidman is, even she couldn’t make up for this steaming pile of crap.
The only movies I’ve ever walked out on are Robin Hood: Men in Tights (just thought it wasn’t funny) and Stargate (liked it until the cheesy ‘Aliens built the pyramids’ subplot popped up).
And my vote for second worst high budget/Big name cast movie is Event Horizon. It was a really good creepy suspense movie, until the big plot twist: The ship went to hell, came to life, and now wants to kill and torture people and take them back there? wha…? I first saw it after buying the VHS tape, and immediately wished I could my $10 and 90 minutes back.
According to a rat-fanciers page I found, the correct collective is “mischief”. Weird.
**
Should have watched the movie, Joe. Aliens didn’t build the pyramids in Stargate; they came to Earth and posed as gods to enslave humanity. Humans built the pyramids for them.
I nearly walked out on Blair Witch 2 for a colossal disregard of the continuity, until I realised that it was deliberate. So the only film I’ve ever walked out on remains Sympatico, which I abandoned after it had managed to cram 10 minutes worth of plot into the first hour. A total waste of time.
Deep Impact. “Okay, the asteroid is coming, the asteroid is coming, the asteroid is still coming, get ready people, the asteroid will be here soon, it’s still coming…” I was rooting for the asteroid by the end.
Reign of Fire (Is that the right title? That thing that came out last year sometime with the dragons and the toasty British people? It was so bad I’ve been repressing it.) There were holes in that plot you could sling a herd of cattle through.
I’m sure I know others but my brain refuses to dredge them up for me.
I’m quite proud to be the first to suggest Vertical Limit, although its badness is mitigated by the first scene, which contains has Chris O’Donnell enacting possibly the funniest expression of horror in any movie, ever, using only his face.
Oh, and please don’t believe the bad man* up there who says The Castle is bad. It’s ace. The Last Castle, however…
*no offence 
See what you get for posting to message boards? My intelligence is being insulted by a guy who’s named himself after a cartoon monkey.
If you want to exercise your intelligence, read. Movies are just for fun. The medium is more conducive to dream logic than rational thought. You’ve gotta stop reading reviews by those film studies types who are so desperate to convince themselves and others that movies are something other than entertainment.
I enjoyed Tarkovsky’s Solaris, even though the ending is a complete betrayal of the book … I enjoyed it so much, I went to see Tarkovsky’s Stalker. Big mistake.
Despite my almost-limitless love of cheesy sci-fi movies … I have never succeeded in watching Meteor. It’s been on TV a few times (I wouldn’t go to an actual cinema to see it), and I’ve started watching it, and just thought to myself “This is so damn stupid” and changed channels on it. Every time.
I’ve watched many a movies and the only ones I couldn’t sit through were:
-
Messenger:Story of Joan of Arc - Luc, I loved “La Femme Nikita” ,“The Professional” and “The Fifth Element” so I’ll forgive you for this piece of crap. Luckily, this was a free rental from Blockbuster, but if I had to pay money for this …
-
Oscar - Unfortunately, I payed money to rent this one. Sly can hardly pull off his oneliners in action flicks where the shit blowing up districts us from his inabilty act, but who the hell decided to put him in a comedy. Same goes for the movie with Estelle Getty.
-
Dear God - Should be renamed to “Oh God.” Enough said.
Waking Life: Proof that Richard Linklater has the social abilities of a stunned college freshman. Cool animation, unwatchable script.
Oh! That’s a subtle, but big difference. Maybe I’ll go rent it then (Hastings kicks butt. 49 cent VHS rentals 
). It’s good? I’m jonesing for a good scifi movie, since there’s been a drought lately.
Roadfood, I admire somebody going out on a limb and taking on the status quo. However, you are wayyyyyy off base about L.A. Confidential. It was one of the best films I’ve seen in the last decade. What you call a forgetable plot, I call a well-woven script that involves numerous story lines, and a fantastic payoff. What you call morally bankrupt characters, I call realistic portrayals. Heck, a good part of the movie was about these “bankrupt” people searching for some kind of redemption. Despite Bassinger’s piss poor acting, I actually cared what happened to the characters and how they were going to resolve the issues. I think you’re a bit off if you even mention this movie in the same thread as some of the other crap.
And to go out on a limb myself, the worst movie I’ve ever seen is a very highly regarded foreign film. Here are some reviews:
I rented it based on the buzz it had received, and I’ve never been more angry at a film in my life. I hated it. It was idiotic, depressing, offensive, blatantly obvious, with piss-poor direction, a horrible script and violence for violence sake. It gets compared to a great movie like Psycho, while having not one redeeming quality. Did I mention I HATE this movie. I may actually hate anyone who likes it too, that is how much I hate this movie.
It’s called Santa Sangre and if you have a chance to rent it, do the world a favor instead, grab the movie, and incinerate, demolish, or obliterate it in any way you can. Please.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Just posting about that movie got me all riled up again.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE that movie.
Whew, now I feel alot better. Just needed to get that out. Thanks.
Invincible (I think, it’s boring title)
I’m glad I watched it because it was funny, but it was seriously bad. I swear it wan’t supposed to be satire, but it could have been.
Every 2 minutes was another cliche. Imagine a cross between highlander, matrix, 5th element, for a start.
THey have 4 guys representing 4 elements: air, fire, water and metal. METAL??
Absolute must watch
[sub]I hate Santa Sangre[/sub]
That would be Notting Hill, Spavined.
I can’t allow a thread about Worst. Movies. Ever. to pass without pointing the accusatory finger at Black Beauty, the 1971 version with Mark Lester, that is (imdb lists several more, including two silent versions).