A couple more to add to Sublight’s examples from Japan.
Commenting on people gaining weight. Not considered rude here.
Asking who is calling on the phone. It’s expected that the caller will identify themselves and a family member will ask who is calling if the caller doesn’t do this.
[QUOTE=Usram]
I do think Brits appreciate, and generally get, cheerful good service. The “have a nice day” fake American shop assistants are a bit of a stereotype we hold. In my admittedly limited experience I haven’t noticed sales clerks over there being noticeably more pleasant than they are here.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, I think it is a bit of a stereotype. I know what you’re talking about, but I’ve rarely actually seen it. I worked in a bookstore for a while after college and our manager was always on us to be friendly and smile, but none of us were ever…you know, perky.
I miss good customer service. sigh
[QUOTE=GorillaMan]
I’m probably overdoing it. However I was mainly thinking about waiters and other situations where people are making sure to earn a tip. (But we won’t go there!)
[/QUOTE]
I don’t think service is bad at all over here.
Even checkout girls at Tesco etc are always cheerful enough.
I’ll agree about the waiters/tips thingy tho’, I don’t blame them for that
[QUOTE=panache45]
I’ve also noticed that in many European cities, it’s perfectly normal for same-sex couples to be moderately affectionate in public. In the U.S. it could be asking for trouble.
[/QUOTE]
Tha’s more Arab-Moslem than European.
[QUOTE=Full Metal Lotus]
Well…
I am Canadian.. Years ago I worked as a Museum Curator in a small but very historically signifigant small town in South central Alberta (The original trading post was started by the CDN Equivelent of Lewis and Clarke).
We had artifacts and displays portraying both native culture and “pioneer” history of the area.
We got our fair share pf “ugly americans”.. The worst was a guy (from Texas) who insisted on asking the “apprasied antique value” of every exhibit. It was a Sunday, and I was “minding the store” while our regular tour guide was busy giving birth.
Our various stone tools from the native history display “Well that’s an obvious fake! The world is only 6000 years old!”
“How much for the Ice Age Bear skull?” It’s not for sale it part of our collection. “C’mon… $200, I’d love to show them back at home how you guys fake up history!”
I got disgusted with him after a while and left him in the pioneer section.. he asked me how much the plow was (it turned the first sod in the area, and is considered a federal historic item).
I told him its scrap Iron value was about 15 cents..
Regards
FML
[/QUOTE]
This man was an asshole and would be considered as such anywhere in the world, surely. Certainly in the States.
[QUOTE=The Scrivener]
Referring to or calling people who aren’t your co-religionists as “infidels”. News flash to the Muslim world: it’s islamo-supremacist, arrogant and politically incorrect. It’s also ahistorical in the sense that in that the Judeo-Christian tradition preceded yours and provided the foundation for your faith, and that the name-calling makes, if anything, more sense the other way around.
[/QUOTE]
Sounds like you are taking advantage of this etiquette thread to dump a little baggage, there. The attitude you describe is hardly universal for Muslims, and your closing seems shows exactly what you are accusing others of.
[QUOTE=enipla]
And yeah, spitting. I don’t understand that at all.
[/QUOTE]
Apparently this is also acceptable in at least some parts of Latin America. One day I was exiting a pharmacy and a guy loitering by the door was spitting across the doorway. He looked sheepish after nearly missing me, but hell, isn’t it kind of stupid to spit across a thoroughfare?
[QUOTE=guizot]
Upon first meeting most Americans, you’re not supposed to dive into religious issues too deeply. (Ex: “So, you’re Roman Catholic? Does that mean you’re completely opposed to abortion?”)
[/QUOTE]
This is acceptable somewhere? :eek:
He probably would have been thrown out of most American museums, including the Texas State History museum. What an asshat.
[QUOTE=The Scrivener]
Referring to or calling people who aren’t your co-religionists as “infidels”. News flash to the Muslim world: it’s islamo-supremacist, arrogant and politically incorrect. It’s also ahistorical in the sense that in that the Judeo-Christian tradition preceded yours and provided the foundation for your faith, and that the name-calling makes, if anything, more sense the other way around.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=CookingWithGas]
Sounds like you are taking advantage of this etiquette thread to dump a little baggage, there. The attitude you describe is hardly universal for Muslims, and your closing seems shows exactly what you are accusing others of.
[/QUOTE]
Oh, bull. My intolerance of the intolerance of others does not automatically equal a crude reiteration of the original offense in question (in this case, I called it “name-calling”). Perhaps I should have made it clearer that not all Muslims use the term “infidel” instead of the value-neutral term “non-Muslim”; indeed, in previous centuries it was commonplace for many Christians to refer to Muslims as “infidels,” as well. But that usage is now all but relegated to the dustbin of history, where it belongs.
All that’s largely beside the point I was making, which I’d like to further elaborate now: that this slur remains too common as it is in [supremicist] Muslim discourse and that it’s flung about without regard to political correctness or even linguistic or historical accuracy. I stand by my assertion of the ludicrous (“ahistorical”) use of the term by [some] Muslims vis-a-vis the historical grounding of Islam in the basic characters, concepts and stories of Judaism and Christianity. We hear that Islam is traditionally respectful and tolerant of other faiths, and particularly so of the Judeo-Christian beliefs (those being “of the Book,” that is, worshipping the God of Abraham) – but the frequent use by too many Muslims of the “infidel” slur (and the apparent failure of many other more moderate or enlightened Muslims to consistently call them on it) belies this assertion. Can anyone doubt that the edifice of Islamic terrorism ultimately rests on an intellectual foundation exemplified by using the slur “infidel” to denigrate and objectify non-Muslims?
The OP called for examples of things that Americans find rude that [some] other cultures do not. To this American, the way that too many Muslims persist in calling others “infidels” is indeed rude, but the rudeness in question is probably the least objectionable, and troubling, aspect of that practice.
Honorifics- Mr, Mrs, sir, or ma’am. A lot of Americans who are Baby Boomers or younger feel that having those titles used toward them makes them feel old.
A lot of Americans object to someone greeting them when they come into a store, especially if it’s a salesperson who comes running up to them. That sort of thing is expected in some other cultures.
But maybe what seems “pleasant and friendly” to us seems like fakey-fake perkiness to people from some other cultures, just like their idea of a reasonable amount of personal space seems like nowhere near enough to us.
In the grocery stores I worked in, a friendly but incompetant person was far better received by customers than my quiet efficiency. The fact that I don’t smile was far more important than the fact that I got everything right and did it faster than most of my coworkers.
So, yeah, the fakey-friendly thing is definately part of southern US culture.
[QUOTE=Hypno-Toad]
So, yeah, the fakey-friendly thing is definately part of southern US culture.
[/QUOTE]
Ya’ll ain’t from around here. I can tell. 
[QUOTE=dangermom]
I’m curious about the idea that smiley customer service is dishonest. Is it a general idea that to behave in any way other than exactly how you feel at the moment is dishonest?
[/QUOTE]
I think anybody who’s dealt with the public in any capacity whatsoever realizes that if you are feeling exactly opposite of the way you are behaving, which is typically the case in customer service, yes, that is dishonest.
YMMV.
[QUOTE=Cardinal]
I dated a Russian girl who got frustrated with “all the stupid smiling”. And she was a friendly person.
[/QUOTE]
I quite like the Thai way regarding this. Smile a LOT, because that’s all that’s needed, and you don’t have to say things you don’t mean when conducting a transaction as simple as selling a bottle of shampoo. A smile will do. Save the verbal “thank you” for things like being pulled from a burning building - not for just making change in a supermarket.
This reminds me of the Korean-American guy who was in my college class. He had been sent to Indonesia, I think, on business, and he thought everything went well and all was wrapped up. He later found out that the subordinates were never going to tell him what they thought, and just agreed with him all the time no matter what they planned on doing in reality. So his plans were shot once he left.
I’m having trouble coming up with any… in part because the ones that do come to mind are things such that I don’t know where the irritation is shared by other Americans, or if the behavior I find offense is what’s more likely to be shared. Reciprocally, for all I know, lots of Asians and Europeans and Africans would find offensive the same things I find offensive and I just don’t know it. But OK…
• If I’m a kid and you’re having my whole family over, don’t serve the adults at a nice table with candles and china and banish us kidfolks to some crappy table with paper plates where even the FOOD we get isn’t as nice. (Happened to me as a young teenager visiting in Switzerland)
•Eggs for breakfast: Americans expect to be asked how they like their eggs. And the ones who like their eggs soft & runny aren’t necessarly even a majority, certainly not an overwhelming one. Some of us would no sooner eat an egg that isn’t cooked to the point of solidity than we’d eat a pink, rare chicken. (Thinking of lots of inevitably soft-boiled icky eggs in Germany)
•Sleep: Americans who would otherwise be reliably peaceful and accomodating in every respect can become outraged and violent if if the hallowed & sacred right to a Good Night’s Sleep is interfered with. (I don’t care why you’re shouting to each other for hours on end in the hallway. Stop it NOW, It’s 2 AM)
[QUOTE=ivylass]
I wouldn’t say it’s rude, but I think there’s some sort of culture clash when European parents come to America and leave their kid in a stroller outside a restaurant while they go in and eat.
[/QUOTE]
That was a Danish couple, if I remember right.
[QUOTE=tschild]
On yet another related note, Americans with yet another culture:
Some of the accounts by Americans staying in Germany that I read mention instances of people not only intruding into their personal space, but compounding this by rudely ignoring them.
Only, in a lot of cases, the intention of the person squeezing by would not be “compounding this by rudely ignoring them” but “mitigating this by politely ignoring them”.
[/QUOTE]
This would be a matter of context. If you’re in a crowd of people, especially jammed onto a train or elevator, ignoring the person next to you by avoiding eye contact is considered a polite way of maintaining personal space when there isn’t any. If however there’s no reason to get that close (and Americans usually leave about a meter’s space between themselves and a stranger, if possible), but you do anyway, and still ignore the person, yes that is rude - because you’re acting as if they don’t exist.
Apologies for picking on Germans, but I have some experience with these:
A cultural and generational change I’ll note - last year, my family had some younger relatives over from Germany for a visit. My German-born mother was totally taken aback at how my cousins thought nothing of asking how much my sister’s house cost, what they paid for their cars, what people’s salaries were, etc. That’s rarely discussed here except among close friends and immediate family, sometimes not even then.
Another contrast - On their last trip to Germany, my parents were floored that both friends and relatives who wanted to see them would arrange dinners and outings - sometimes 2-day trips - and expect my parents to pay for pretty much everything. And yet the same expectation (that my parents pay for everything) is clearly present when those same friends and relatives come to visit here. Should there not be a point at which the desire to reciprocate kicks in? To not offer is freeloading, and IMO quite rude.
The phones in Europe are ruder. When I was staying in Paris and Belgium, I’d pee myself every time the phone rang, it was so loud and jarring.
[QUOTE=ladyfoxfyre]
I think anybody who’s dealt with the public in any capacity whatsoever realizes that if you are feeling exactly opposite of the way you are behaving, which is typically the case in customer service, yes, that is dishonest.
YMMV.
[/QUOTE]
shrug I’ve done my share of retail service (in fact, I’m now a public librarian, which is if anything a bit worse, what with all the loopy folks), but I don’t know that I would call it dishonest. To act short-tempered and rude when you feel short-tempered and rude --to my mind, it shows a lack of professionalism, self-control, and consideration for others. It says more about you than it does about the people you’re being rude to, most of the time. And, since I want to live up to my image of myself as a polite, dignified person, is being rude and short-tempered not dishonest to the person I am trying to be? That is, if I’m graceful under fire, I’m hoping that’s a reflection of who I’m truly trying to be, not the irritable about-to-snap person I often am but want to leave behind.
Yeah, I’m getting too analytical. 
[QUOTE=Bear_Nenno]
It is nasty! Do people still use handkerchiefs?? Seems kinda old fashioned and gross to me. Can’t think of the last time I actually saw a person use one.
[/QUOTE]
I can’t bring myself to carry a pocket hankerchief like my grandfather used to, but I use hankies at home.